1. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    A Theoretical Question...

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by psyence53, May 14, 2009.

    There's no one I can ask so I thought I'd see if anyone online would respond... this has been incessantly going round my head all day...

    If someone you didn't know came up to you and thanked you for making their live worth living for a short time, for the first time in their whole life, what would you think or feel?

    And if it was possible that you'd heard it before from people you don't know, how would you feel to hear it again from someone else?

    Any thoughts really appreciated. Thank you.
     
  2. lilix morgan
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    lilix morgan Contributing Member

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    Personally, I'd feel awkward, even shocked and confused. If a stranger came up to me, someone I didn't know, and thanked me like that for making their life worth living for a little while, I'd feel weird. I'd wonder what I did to deserve their thanks, and then feel bothered because I'd wonder how miserable their life had to be in order to make that the first time in their whole life that it was worth living.

    To hear it from one person would be awkward enough, but from two people in a relatively similar time period would completely freak me out. I'd really start to wonder what was going on, if I was going nuts, and what I could have possibly done.
     
  3. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I'd be looking around for Alan Funt or the Girls Behaving Badly crew.

    It almost sounds like something a cult would come up with for their devotees to latch onto. It could even be an overture to recruitment if the person spoken to responds favorably.

    In any case, I am pretty sure I would find it disturbing.
     
  4. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    Thanks for the fast replies.
    That's worrying though.
    More regret :/

    What if you were were a musician then? WOuld you still feel awkward or disturbed?
     
  5. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    Also, what if you were just given a letter, never to see that person again?
     
  6. Carmina
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    Carmina Contributing Member Contributor

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    If I was some sort of performer, artist, writer, poet, musician...and someone said that my performance/work touched them in such a way that...I would be a little weirded out, but I wouldn't automatically think anyone was crazy. If it was more than one person..I would actually be less creeped out. Less like I had one stalker. IS there some history you would like to share?
     
  7. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    I'm not a stalker. Haha. I've been regretting it all day because it's someone i genuinely admire and >.<

    Basically, i happened to meet someone after seeing them live for the second time in 3 days. First time in those 3 days was first time ever. I didnt expect to touched - not to feel glad to be alive for the first time in my life (albeit temporarily.) I wrote the letter last minute, not really expecting to give it to the person in question but, it was all so quick. It would break me apart to think he would be creeped out. I explained how i hoped it wasnt too cheesy and that things get left unsaid but... the thoughts are killing me. I suffer from depression and possible .. what is it they said.. multiple personality somethign? something like that. I never tell people when I care or appreciate something they did, which is why idid this, but now regretting it. It probably came across completely opposite to how it was intended. As always in my life.

    Thanks for the reply.
     
  8. Carmina
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    Carmina Contributing Member Contributor

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    Oh, I understand. I wouldn't feel too bad about it. Is this a celeb musician? If so...they are probably used to stuff like this. I think that musicians understand the power of music and the affect it can have on people. I am sure this person was as flattered as awkward...assuming they were awkward.
     
  9. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    Hmm ok. Thank you. That's what I hoped, that they'd heard it before. If anything i thought they'd laugh and throw it away. I'll never know but, it's really tearing me up because I've always hurt the people i care about, and lost them. This person for some reason means as much to me as my one and only friend. If not more. I didnt expect them to change part of me like that. I always do things so hastily. I think and think, then do it without finishing mny thoughts. I hate myself for screwing things up as always.
     
  10. becca
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    becca New Member Contributor

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    You are being way to hard on yourself. You are only seeing the 'possible' negative side.
    What if they were having a bad day, or thinking that their music wasn't reaching anyone? Here you come with a letter, and BAM! their exsistence means something again, because they made a difference in your life.

    I think that if someone has truely touched your life, that you should tell them. Because, having touched you, might have made a real difference in their lives as well.

    I don't think it is stalkerish, unless you start showing up at every show, and think that he/she should want to hang out with you or be your best friend. That would be weird.

    As far as the actual question at the beginning of this thread.....
    I have had people come up to me and say I have blessed them and stuff like that. I always felt unworthy and wanted to cry, or divert the attention away from myself.

    But, always keep in mind that people are on Earth to help one another along in our lifes journey. Something you say or do can impact another life, positively or negatively. Depending on how you behave towards people.
     
  11. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    The situation is rather strange. I don't know if I would freak out over it, but I would be wary. The sad fact is, most undamaged humans would not really make a statement like that to a stranger even when there are mitigating circumstances.
     
  12. Henry The Purple
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    Henry The Purple Active Member

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    If it was genuine, I would be touched...
     
  13. Azhigher
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    Azhigher Senior Member

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    I'd be a little freaked out. If you told them that they were the only thing in your life that ever made you happy, that doesn't really seem like a good life. I think it would make you seem like you were a little unbalanced, maybe a little obsessive. I mean, I get the excitement of seeing someone you really like live but if thats truely the ONE thing that ever made you happy or decide life was worth living, thats rough.
     
  14. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    Thank you becca, that's really helpful.
    Yeah it's not that sort of "fandom". I wouldn't even call myself a fan. I'm not going to follow them round the world, no matter how much i miss it. I see people who scream at bands and go all over the place but that's not me. I don't do friendship either. Aside from my immediate family, there are only 2 people in the world (so far!) that genuinely mean something to me. Both are musicians. People seem baffled when i respond to the question "Would you have their babies?" with a simple straight faced "no." They don't get that a female can have feelings for someone they don't know other than "THAT". They are like one-way friends as it is. i wouldn't want to be part of their lives. I just need them part of mine, if that makes sense. I actually LIKE to hear of them settling down with kids/partners etc, instead of hating them like so many "fangirls" do. It really annoys me. I just had the fleeting thought that while i had a slim chance to, I should thank one of them. Maybe it's weird, but i dont feel it's so wrong anymore. They don't know me so it doesn't matter.

    Sorry ^^ haha.
     
  15. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    I AM damaged. That's just who I am. I'm not obsessed with them at all, I just appreciate the things that mean something to me. I've had obsessions before, when I was younger, but it's fake. Looking back, it was al denial. This musician in this band genuinely feel real and worthwhile. Not everyone is normal.
     
  16. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think it's nice that someone touched your life and you wanted to let them know that and thank them. Were it me, if I got a letter that said "you made me want to live for the first time," that might upset me a little. Not because I would find it creepy or scary at all, just because it's sad to hear that from someone, especially when my life makes me so happy. But at the same time, it would make me happy to know that I was able to touch someone's life in that way.
     
  17. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    :) That would be nice..

    Thanks for replying ^^
    I get the feeling the regret will return to me, but I'm still a bit shocked at the brief break in wanting to die. I've spent so many years trying to explain to people that the little things are really hard for me because i've never once been glad to be alive, then this! The old feelings are returning but it's nice to have felt it once. I've always been one for manners. I always say thank you, whether i mean it or not. To not have thanked this person for what apparently means the most to me in my life thus far, would probably bear down on me much more.

    I really appreciate you al taking the time to reply.
     
  18. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    in either case, i wouldn't feel anything in particular, until they explained how... and if it was due to something i wrote that they'd read, or something i'd done inadvertantly without knowing it, then i'd just feel 'good' that i'd been able to make a positive difference in someone's life, intentionally or not...

    this actually happens to me now and then, with people who stumble upon the writings on my site, and/or those who're helped by what i do for them or say to them and some just by seeing how i live, which inspires them to do the same [helping others freely, not not for money]...

    and how i feel is simply 'fulfilled' or 'happy' to have been able to do so... and grateful to whatever gave me the ability to do it, though i certainly don't credit any 'god' for it, not being a believer in any religion...
     
  19. Gone Wishing
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    Gone Wishing Contributing Member

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    This has been an interesting thread for me to read through... :-D

    As writers, I would have thought that we all would be aware of the beauty that can inhabit the smallest of observations in life. All of our perspectives are - of course - subjective, but I can bet you that we have all caught a moment, in just watching the rest of the world move around us, where something small has caught our attention, made us smile, and reminded us that there is indeed incredible beauty all around us, therefore it wouldn't be strange to me to have someone say that to me. I have heard it before (I actually say that with a fair amount of trepidation, I feel like I'm being egotistical - but it is a mere statement of fact, and I had no thought in mind to question it - it just made me smile, too). It's not even about something I did, no grand gesture or incredible feat of bravery...or even an offering of wise or touching words - via music or otherwise - it was just a small observation, where one looked out from one's own circle and saw the beauty in a moment of someone else's life, and appreciated it.

    Art (music, literature and anyhing else that can find itself under the art banner) has the ability to catch and share these kinds of moments, which - I think - is why it becomes so easy to claim songs as your own, where they can take on a very great personal meaning. If someone told me that something I had created had mean that to them, I would understand and smile.
    :)
     
  20. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    My sister has had it happen sometimes--she's an opera singer, but sings oratorio in church services also. Once, I was with her and a woman came up in tears with a story about how her mother had used sing the same solo my sister had sung, 'How Beautiful are the Feet'. She'd felt like it was her mother speaking to her again, and never heard it sung quite so movingly since her mother's death the year before and now had a sense of peace and closure. The woman later became a close friend of my mother who was also with us at the time.
    I think if artists or writers can give someone a moment of joy, insight, whatever, they should be happy and humbled that they've been given that gift or chance, and then move on with their own lives. There's nothing creepy about it, unless the person becomes a stalker or something.
     
  21. becca
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    becca New Member Contributor

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    I think there is a need in most artists (musicians, author, painters, etc) to reach out and touch people in a positive way. I don't think I know of anyone that tries to create something, that doesn't hope that someday, something they have done would touch somebody. I think it is beautiful!
     
  22. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    Thank you all! Those last few messages were especially helpful. I'm glad i asked on here, it's realled helped ease my mind. And I love hearing how other people are touched by others..
     
  23. JGraham
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    JGraham Senior Member

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    Honestly sometimes i feel like the person that would say this to others. I mean when i meet someone that has that effect on me I truly feel inspired. Therefore if someone said this to me i would feel honored, i mean i would ask why and hopefully have a conversation or find something out about that individual but overall i would feel honored.
     
  24. psyence53
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    psyence53 Senior Member

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    JGraham, that's really nice to know, that's pretty respectable. When I think about it from the other perspective, I would want to know more too, but that may only be because i am of the mentality to feel the need to thank!

    I personally would like nothing more than to have a brief conversation with those few who truly inspire me, but it's a lot to ask for in many circumstances.

    Thanks for taking the time to repy :)
     

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