A Word of Caution

Thank you for posting this IndianaJoan!
Nice to see some one cares enogh to post that

 

I agree with this all. I think that if your (younger folks) parents are not strict with your computer use then it is up to you to be very, very careful. Take all of the advice seriously (please don't brush it aside) and just be overly cautious. You should do that on the web (especially) and just in life in general.

 

This hasn't been raised in a while, so I'm taking this opportunity to remind everyone about Internet safety, especially the younger members.

Please be careful about giving out personal information. There are a lot of predators out there, as well as many people who are just enough off center to be dangerous. Even though we have accounts and logins, the site is generally visible to everyone, with or without an account. The Review Rooms are restricted such that only members can view the posts, but remember how easy it was to get your own account.

Be especially careful what you reveal in your profile. Even though it may feel like your only sharing this information with other members, it is visible to anonymous visitors and even to search engines!

On a related note - if you do discover another member's instant messaging or email account, please do not use it without their permission. In general, forum-related requsts should ONLY be performed through PM unless a member specifically allows otherwise.

We do not permit harassment, and unwanted persistent communications through external means may be grounds for a permanent ban.

 

I think caution is particularly relevant given the new expansion of the profiles. People could get carried away and put too much information on it.

 

I agree.

 

This is a common problem with a lot of sites IndianaJoan. Although, it cant always be preverted most of us try to and therefore it always helps to be careful about people over the net. I have to admit, with proper evidence, some people on the net can be trusted. Don't get me wrong, I have come across my fair share of pedophiles and weirdos.
I knew a girl that used to be one of my best friends that had joined another forum about a month ago. She ended up getting involved with this guy that was fourty-seven years old and a few miles away from where she lived. She was eighteen at the time and just was looking for love. I, of course, told her i was very concerned about the situation and told her she could end up getting seriously hurt or killed. I ended up talking her out of it and she ended her relationship as soon as she talked to him.
It's sad that things like that happen to people. It can end very badly but as i said before, some people on the net are not always bad. I am sure most of you would agree that all of us on here are sane and very well mannered people.
Anyway, it always pays to be careful about people over the net anyway.

 

Laughing - I know you mean prevented!

 

haha picking on me Cog.
Silly typo

 

This issue really hits close to home.

A girl that I work with met her boyfriend online. He lived in the nearest capital city which was about 250km away.
They talked over msn a lot, and they decided to meet up, and he travelled up here to her. Now, he hadn't lied about his age, and he was about 24 like he said.
They ended up having a sexual relationship, and nobody knew.
The problem is, this girl is 15. Her mother I believe found out, and reported it to the police.
Turns out that this man in question had over 90 girls strung along like this, and so far the police have only been able to track down one.

This proves that online stalkers don't have to be old.

 

Weird.

A middle age guy here and I can't even get a date on a singles site. ' sure never been a problem on this end.

I can not recall the last time I was even hit on....err...

...Oh yeah it was that time my last girlfriend slapped the top of my head because as we drove past a hotel I spoke it's name out loud.

Sorry gang, I realize this IS a serious subject. It's just that it is so far from the reality I live in that it's difficult for me to fully appreciate how bad the problem must be for many online. I am not insensitive to it though, and I'm certainly glad I have never been a target on common forum sites. I must admit though, no matter where I try to chat on yahoo chat I get bombarded by spambots and what seems like very drunk people asking me very out of context personal questions. I was forced to give up on chat rooms because I guess people are now masking their IPs by routing through a pay service in Canada that hides them behind their privacy law and the result is a spoofed IP that not even the internet service provider can read. I read that happened about the time the RIAA pretty much stopped taking MP3 file sharers to court- the IPs are now spoofed to be The White House, US Army and all sorts of crazy places that most realize is a spoofed IP. How can the Admins and Mods control their membership with this going on? It makes one wonder if any of us are safe.

I have to question if such weirdos are just extremely drunk stoned etc and perhaps not always so perverted. I have such a difficult time understanding why this problem is soooo bad online.

What is wrong with the world?? shesh!

Name: Me
Location: Why you need to ask?
Hobbies: Karate, and More Karate

 

It is very important to bare in mind that dangers of the internet are as big as its virtues. I wasn't aware of it until I got a hacker... Never met him in real life, never want to, but the damage they caused can not be measured. I'm sure one day we wont trust the internet as much as we do (to be honest I think the trust is falling every day; when you get an e-mail or send an e-mail it no longer means it is from the person behind the address, somoene you are likely to know in real life, or that that person will get your e-mail). Internet has made it easy for some stupid creatures to do their stupid things.

I would strongly advise everyone to follow the advice given here and NEVER EVER meet anyone you met on line, esp if you fall into that weaker category like 'young girls' - you might be speaking to someone who sounds very nice, and might just be nice, but the risks are far to great, so do NOT take that risk no matter how they sound. Chat about school but never say what school, chat about your friends, but never say what friends, chat about your ideas but never give any information about yourself. Feel free to use imaginary name and tell them its not your name, but its one you like; there is really no need for anyone you meet online to even know your real name. If you say you like Suzanne, then they should just call you that and that's it. And if at any time you think 'This person is getting weird' never question yourself, but report them and let someone you know (an adult) decide if you are being silly or smart - chances are you are being smart. Sometimes, it's not even that obvious, but you just feel its wrong. Do NOT ignore that feeling or think you are being crazy. Respect that feeling and move away.

Thanks for posting this!

 

As a (former) stalking victim I cannot stress how very important safety and security is online. It sounds incredibly unromantic and "silly" but in the end you really can save your life, or someone else's by following some very simple but key guidelines. I know some of these have been said, but they bear repeating.

1. Never give out real or personal information. No name, age, phone number, address, gender, work/school, nearby landmarks, etc. If it can be used to track you don't give it out. Telling them you love Harry Potter, or you hate Twilight, is prefectly fine. There's no way for them to put that in a google search and track you down.

They only exceptions to this is if you're using a dating site or you know them for years (not half a year or near a year, *years*). Even then guard your information carefully and don't give out anything you strictly don't have to. Some people do develop close relationships that are entirely safe, but what you want to do is make it so hard for a predator that he'll give up on you. The good ones, the ones you want to be close to you, won't.

2. Always protect your passwords, logins, etc. Always. I know dozens of people who let their SO have their password and log into their account and it's a mistake. Can you imagine the temptation should the relationship fall apart? Can you imagine what damage they could do if they didn't care about you and were only using you? This goes the same for your credit card number, banking information, etc.

Again you might seem like it's or hear "oh, you're not trusting me, so you can't love me" crap but you need to protect yourself. Again if they love you, they will respect you.

3. Be extremely cautious about how much you get involved sexually with people online. Photos are forever on the internet. Once they're out there, they're out there and they ain't coming back down. Do not make the mistake of thinking people are above that. They're not.

And never ever trust anyone in that matter if you're under the age of eighteen. Some girls have committed suicide over it. Don't be one of them.

4. Don't be their bank. Or their personal shopper. Your money is your own. Let them keep theirs and you keep yours. Don't listen to nonsense like they're down on their luck or you owe them or they'll pay you back. If they can't afford to eat, they shouldn't have internet. And anything they could want to buy is available on Ebay, etc.

You don't owe anyone anything and certainly not your wallet. (This goes back to not giving out Credit cards numbers, etc.)

5. If you feel uncomfortable in any way, get away. Don't cave into threats, blackmail, promises of changing, manipulation "Oh my sister is sick, you must be there for me or you're a bad person" crap. Anyone who uses threats, blackmail, etc. is all about their control and getting what they want.

If all they have to do is say "I'll call your boss and get you fired" to get you to do what they want guess what? They'll do it a hundred times. Don't neogitate with terrorists, as they say.

In the end the only person who can really protect you from the internet is you. Anti-virus programs, attending internet security sessions, etc. is all useless unless you follow the basic guidelines in order to keep you and others safe. As a person who almost had their life destoried by a vindicative stalker, I implore you to do what is necessary to protect yourself and others.

If anyone had questions or wanted some advice on this, let me know.

 

I am a bit of two minds about that. I have been playing online and have given my real e-mail, also my real name to people. But I have known them literally for years -- three or four, some of them five. I never made a bad experience there.
I also use my real name on facebook, by that i was able to get in touch with lots of old classmates. I take extreme care though not to post anything too private on facebook. What that is, every person has to decide for him-/herself.
For myself i have decided to protect my privacy and furthermore, that of others, by NEVER posting:
- Pictures of a too private nature that would not be to the person's advantage, if their boss, wife, etc., saw them. (Showing the person being drunk, half-naked or clinging to some other person)
- anything hinting at sex life or sexual preferences,
- any comment or picture that could have some impact on the person's life. (Even "hey, i was at xxx with yyyy" can get you killed -- if at the time yyy should have been lying in bed, because he told his boss he was sick, e,g.)

My approach still has its risks though, I am conscious about that.
On facebook i just recently got a friend invite from a guy who really wrote a nice post on a science site. I replied to it, he invited me. He turned out to be obsessed with conspiration theories, making Agent Mulder seem like a down-to-earth person in comparison. Next time i will surely be even more careful.

Not worse than in society in general if you are careful.

If you put that in your signature, you should be experiencing fewer problems than the rest of us

The following remark is really very o.t. ... Your personal dilemma reminds me of a really distasteful joke. xD
There is a theme party (is the expression correct?), the theme being "my love life".

One of the guests arrives, obviously dressed as Abraham Lincoln.
The doorman asks the guy "Hey, the theme is 'my love life', why are you dressed as Abraham Lincoln?"
Answer: "Well, my last four scores were seven years ago."
***
Never give up hope

 

Putting your email address and other contact information in a public profile is not very safe. You should be very careful about the personal information you leave in public places, even if you feel you have nothing to hide.

Identity theft is epidemic. So are cyberstalking and Internet predation. Protect your privacy. Once the information is out there, you cannot cleanse it away.

The charmingly shy teen boy who chats you up may actually be a creepy older man up to no good. Even though we already banned him more than once (NOT a hypothetical example). We do what we can, but this IS the Internet!

If a member contacts you privately, and you feel uncommfortable in any way with the conversation, please contact a moderator. Don't feel silly, or assume you are overreacting. If that same member is making other members uncomfortable as well, he or she may be a predator.
Be careful who you trust.

If a member contacts you privately, and you feel uncommfortable in any way with the conversation, please contact a moderator. Don't feel silly, or assume you are overreacting. If that same member is making other members uncomfortable as well, he or she may be a predator.