I have a couple of characters in my current work that I need to work on, and I'm not entirely sure how to do it. The first character is supposed to be a middle-aged man who, for lack of a better title, is my MC's mentor. He is there to teach her how to control time (again, for lack of a better description). He's also important to add questions for the readers...why is he thrusting her into the teaching role when she is so new to it herself; who is the white-robed person he is talking to and why does the topic worry him so much? Both questions pretty much have the same answer but this is vital to the climax (no I am not giving that away!) My dad has read what I have written so far, and has said I need to develop this character to be more middle aged...I know that doesn't sound right, but I can't think how else to explain it. My dad suggested that this character doesn't sound or act like who he's supposed to be, but I have tried to at least describe him as a mentor, long suffering, weary, bored almost while totally enthralled by what he does so that when he meets newcomers he tries to add mystery to it to keep them excited. So, what I need advice on: how do middle-aged men generally act? Talk? The second character is my MC. My dad said she is still very shallow. I'm not quite sure what he means by shallow, whether I need to flesh her character out more or if she's just...shallow. Now...her background...she witnessed her mother's death aged 6, but when the story starts she is 18. She lives with her dad who is a doctor and works all hours and prescribes her medication, believing she is depressed from what she witnessed (his character is the one that can't cope, almost like a projection of a self-diagnosis). She also has an older brother who is pretty well adjusted, acts as a mediator between the two, and mostly takes care of her when she has nightmares about that fateful day. She is one of many chosen to look after time; has a long standing crush on her brother's best friend; one of the other Time Keepers is in love with her but she doesn't see him in that way (I guess you've figured out the story, huh? But don't count me out just yet! There is more to it) She might be 18, but in some ways she is very childish and shallow, almost like she thinks the world revolves around her (although I haven't actually said those words yet) so if my dad means she is shallow in that she thinks like that then that is what I want. It eventually results in everyone walking away from her because they are so fed up of it, and it is all from her POV. Even with all of this, she is a deep and caring personality and it shows with an event involving her best friend and her interactions with other characters. Again, she is shallow but she doesn't intentionally set out to hurt anyone. This characteristic, of thinking mostly of herself, is what leads to 'the final showdown', so to speak. Not all of this has been incorporated into the story so far, and I am trying! This is one of my weaker areas in writing so I guess for my MC I'm looking for advice on what to look out for in what I've already written to show that she does have a full character, flawed on many levels, that as the story progresses she works out some of the kinks and advice on ensuring I am making that progression with her as I continue. Thanks in advance!