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  1. veronica2020

    veronica2020 New Member

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    Alternative sentence structure of use of terms

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by veronica2020, Aug 1, 2012.

    Could somebody suggest an alternative use of terms, or sentence structure for the sentences below (rephrase the main idea)?

    Like the product A, this product offers feature w. Unlike the product A, this product offers features x y and z.

    I am using product A as a reference to compare/contrast product B. But to me, what I have written in my sentences above reads... mmm... jaded?

    I am hoping somebody could suggest a sentence structure that mentions "product A" once, and introduces the fact that early features are like, and latter product features are unlike those of product A.

    Any ideas?

    Thank you
     
  2. EdFromNY

    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    How about, "In addition to feature w, which is also offered on Product A, this product's features include x, y and z."?
     
  3. epicfailpig

    epicfailpig Member

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    Hmm... I'm not quite sure what kind of sentence you're looking for, but if you want an example...

    Like product A, the other product offered w, but also included x, y, and z.

    That's a straightforward answer, anyway. Of course, you'd want to fill in your own words for the variables and change up any words that don't go with the product's description.
     
  4. psychotick

    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    Why does this sound like advertising? However:

    "You've all seen product A. It can do this. But can it do this? Product B can, - and it can do it like this!"

    Cheers, Greg.
     
  5. veronica2020

    veronica2020 New Member

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    @EdFromNY @epicfailpig @psychotick,

    I love your suggestions. Thank you... I have a huge smile... creativity at work.

    Well Greg, it sounds like advertising b/c it is advertising... :p I am writing a pr release.

    I ended up choosing:

    Product B is an alternative to product A. Unlike product A, this product offers x and y.

    And I chose to cover the similarities in another paragraph.

    As I wrote this sentence, my priority was clarity and conciseness. English is a second language for me, and I struggle to with these.

    Thank you
     

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