1. Vernalire
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    Vernalire Member

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    Ameir: the man on both sides

    Discussion in 'Science Fiction' started by Vernalire, Aug 5, 2016.

    Ameir Henson cares about the fate of his mother Jean and older brother Aidan, more than the billions of innocent lives that are at stake.

    Ameir finally encounters his runaway big brother after three years growing up without him, but it's not the joyful reunion he's fantasised about. Instead, Ameir suspects Aiden is working for the vicious warlord who's kidnapped their mother and wants Ameir as well. The warlord knows Ameir poses a dormant arcane power that could easily rival his own one day. However if the warlord can control Ameir now, using his mother as leverage, he'll be unstoppable in his plans to destroy the core planets.

    Now Ameir must make a drastic decision: confront the warlord and possibly save billions, or give in to the warlord to save his beloved family.

    AMEIR:ABSOLUTION is a YA fantasy and YA ADVENTURE novel at 80,000 words. I thank you for your time and consideration!

    And the alternative?

    Billions of lives are at stake, but Ameir Henson cares more about the fate of his mother Jean and older brother Aidan.

    Ameir Henson cares about the fate of his mother Jean and older brother Aidan, more than the billions of innocent lives that are at stake.

    A formidable masked warlord named Abrasion sets his sites on conquering the Henderbock solar system and they are utterly terrified. Abrasion commands his men to abduct Ameir and his mother, knowing Ameir has a dormant arcane power that could easily rival his own. But if Abrasion can control Ameir now, using his mother as leverage, he'll be unstoppable. Fortunately two super-powered men swiftly rescue Ameir. However, Jean isn't as fortunate. Ameir's rescuers agree to help Ameir retrieve his mother, but before they can even start their quest, Ameir and the group have a brief encounter with an embittered Aidan. It's far from the glamorous reunion that Ameir's been fantasizing about for the past 3 years. Before Ameir and the group can gain anymore ground on rescuing Jean, they quickly find themselves being framed for murder by Abrasion, in efforts to divert attention away from his scheme to destroy the core planets, killing billions.

    Now a galactic terrorist, Ameir must make a drastic decision: confront Abrasion and possibly save billions, or give in to Abrasion to save his beloved family.

    AMEIR:ABSOLUTION is a YA fantasy and YA ADVENTURE novel at 80,000 words. I thank you for your time andconsideration!

    Which is better. I'm lost here haha
     
  2. 7XshadowolfX7
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    7XshadowolfX7 Member

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    First man. It seemed better than your second option. The second seemed to lose me a bit with the heroes saving your MC. The terrorist sorta outlaw thing is cool I admit. But I would stick with the first, the plot for me flows a lot better. You could even turn it into a revenge story day your MC Mother dies.
     

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