The character is suffering from a curse of insanity that affected him from the moment of his birth. The other sufferers gained it in their adult lives, resulting in lust for power and damaged moral compasses. For the from-birth character, he grows up without realizing what exactly is wrong with him. He eventually learns about the curse and eventually is aware of the struggle between the madness and what he would be without it. One side is prideful, vengeful, unyielding, and a megalomaniac. The other side has doubt, compromise, and compassion. The twist is that he thinks that the doubt comes from the madness and that the megalomaniac side is what he would be naturally. Having him talk to himself in an internal dialogue didn't work well, and the rambling thoughts weren't much better. Is there another tactic I could try to make both the struggling with madness and being on the wrong side of it apparent?