1. CelineDionRox
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    CelineDionRox New Member

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    are you unique?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by CelineDionRox, Oct 4, 2008.

    yeah, yeah, we're all special in our own way. some of us are just more special than others.

    but seriously. ever feel like you don't quite fit in? that you don't think and believe the same way your peers do? i'm sure the answer is yes. i just like to think i'm one of the special few who aren't simply being delusional.
     
  2. Solaris
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    Solaris Active Member

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    And why are some more special than others?
    Can you clarify?

    I think you worry too much about being 'special'.
    Not to be rude, but I find it kind of shallow to get worked up over being 'so much more unique than the average person'.
    If you're unique you're unique.
    But that doesn't automatically make a person better.
    A good person is better than a bad person. But I don't necessarily think a unique person is any more 'special' than an average one.
    My mother is 'average' and she's the most amazing person I know.
     
  3. Palimpsest
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    Palimpsest Senior Member

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    I used to think that I didn't think the same way, taking on an aloof/angsty and tragically intelligent front... but, some things happened that made me consider my peers only complained about schoolwork and bullied people who didn't because they wanted other people to think well of them and didn't run the actions through logic. And I was doing exactly the same thing.

    I'm naturally talkative, but I was pretending to be shy and sad because that's what people seemed to respond more positively to-- there were people to respond positively to slacking off and bullying, too, even if those who conform to it might have shown to be really talented and kind. So, you see, just because we act differently doesn't mean we think in any significantly different way at all (method-wise, not content-- though I'm no telepath)... and by that rule, just because they act the same doesn't mean that their individual perceptions don't deserve any respect.

    I'm pretty sure now that finding the same fronts (age/maturity, gender, subculture, interests, nationality, religion, opinion...) isn't fitting in. Really, it's the courage to be honest that connects us-- and that's rare, so, yes, unfortunately everybody's unique. The only ones who are truly original, truly remarkable, are the ones who fit in everywhere.

    ... yeah, that broke my brain too. :eek:
     
  4. Silver Random
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    Silver Random Senior Member

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    I dont think and believe in the same way my peers do. At least not out of any i've met, and as far as i can tell about what they think and believe.

    I've never come across anyone exactly like me. Im pretty sure no one has ever done that.

    There aren't many people that are like me at all that i know of. As far as i can tell, most people have more people that are like them than i do. Maybe they feel the same way about me though - maybe there are loads of people that seem pretty similar to me (though i can think of very few that have any real similarities in my point of view) and few that seem similar to themselves.

    Either way, i find people who angst about or constantly claim to be unique very.... un-unique. If anything, among teenagers, angsting about how you "dont fit in" makes you "fit in" with a very large group...
     
  5. marina
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    marina Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's impossible to comment because I'm not clear on what you're saying. What exactly are you not deluding yourself in believing? That sounds like a double negative... Let me try this: what exactly do you believe about yourself? Do you believe you're special or not special?
     
  6. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    If you look around these days, a lot of youngsters like to be fairly similar, to a degree. I see young boys all walking around dressing really similar, acting similar, and same with the young girls. Some of them dress almost identical actually... but, even with saying that, they are all still extremely unique.

    When you say, that some are more unique than others, that is descrimination (I hope I spelt that correctly, been a long day for me). We are all very similar to each other, but all completely different at the same time.

    A female friend I was... very close with, and I, were almost identical in every way. Only difference being that she had darker hair and had a slightly fuller face and frame. Otherwise, we were almost identical. Even our personalities were almost identical. But at the same time, we were very much unique. We had different likes and dislikes, etc. She was also a good few years older than myself. But as I grew up, I changed, so it is quite possible, if she were still here that we would not be so similar anymore. I'll never know! But also, we spent a lot of time together, so it is natural to pick up on the others traits, when you spend 99% of yout time with that person.

    It is easy to go around and say we are so much like someone else, that we are not very unique, but we all are extremely unique. We can never be the same as someone else, as much as we may want to be at some point in life.
     
  7. tehuti88
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    tehuti88 Contributing Member

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    I know I don't fit in. I know I don't think and believe the way my peers (whoever they may be) do.

    Doesn't mean I'm "unique" or special, though. Just means I don't fit in. And it certainly doesn't make me feel "special." Just makes me feel lonely and unspecial.
     
  8. Rei
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    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

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    tehuti hit has the right idea. Because you don't fit in right now doesn't mean you are extra secially unique. It just means that you're not like the people around you right now. It sucks, and feels pretty horrible, and the way you're percieving things is not so terrible as a few unempathetic members *see above* seem to think it is. I felt the same way, still do sometimes, but the reality is that there is always going to be a group that will welcome you. Some people, such as yourself, have a harder time finding that than others.
     
  9. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Everybody before has pretty much hit the nail on the head. It reminds me of a stupid shirt I once saw that said, "You all laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same". It pathetically tries to make you feel like an individual and think every one else is a "conformist". When people feel different, they don't like it, so they consider themselves special to make themselves feel better. We all love to be an individual, but in the end man is a pack animal and can't help but not want to be left behind in the crowd.
     
  10. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    If you don't fit in, why do you assume the problem is with you?

    Why assume it's a problem at all?

    The world has been changed and shaped by those who don't "fit in". To me, that's a pretty decent crowd to be in with.
     
  11. Palimpsest
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    Palimpsest Senior Member

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    But at what cost? We join the crowd to find a connection, but in most cases the only way to join the crowd seems to be pretentiousness or politeness, which doesn't forge any real connections at all. The dissatisfaction that comes from that should indicate just being part of the pack isn't the be-all end-all of human nature.
     
  12. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Hmmm. I think you mean herd animal. A pack animal is an animal used to carry baggage, like a mule. :)
     
  13. Nilfiry
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    Nilfiry Contributing Member

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    I don't really see how one can be more special than another if we're all special.
     
  14. Palimpsest
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    Palimpsest Senior Member

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    I thought ValianceInEnd meant the collective noun (a pack of wolves, a herd of horses:confused:)
     
  15. Jade
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    Jade Active Member

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    Cue cliche answer: We're all unique :)
     
  16. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    boy have you nailed it.
    I have never fit in.
    And yes it is very lonely.
    But eventually you will find someone
    who thinks along the same lines you do
    then you can form your own group for others
    to attempt to join.
    I did this and unfortunately for them the group
    turned out to be my family.
    Tough when you have to give birth to like minded people.

    I fit in better when in a crowd of politicians.
    I make them listen to me and then go on to make them
    do what I ask.
    In other groups I smile a lot and keep my mouth shut.
    that way they don't know I am sitting thinking about
    fishing on a quiet river while they are getting hot under
    the collar about some stupid soap opera.
    People really are small minded and many want to share that
    small mind and that is where they lose me.
    Fortunately for me there is this group with so many different
    people in one small space.
    I guess I like variety.
     
  17. KP Williams
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    KP Williams Contributing Member

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    I certainly don't mix well with most people where I live. Half of our population is borderline redneck, and most of the rest are just idiots. Most of my very few friends are just laughing buddies; very few serious conversations have ever passed between us. No one else can ever seem to understand that nine times out of ten, I just want them to shut up and leave me alone, unless they're part of my "circle" (that might account for the low number of friends I have :p). So yes, I often feel separated from the world.

    But I'm never lonely. How can I be, when I have one very good friend who I love above all else? She's like an extension of myself, and little things like the thousand or two miles between us aren't even worthy of being called complications.
     
  18. NaCl
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    NaCl Contributing Member Contributor

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    I prefer to be alone as much as possible...always have. Is that "unique" or simply asocial? Don't know; don't care. Bottom line, I walk through life to the beat of my own drummer without concern for the expectations of others. Unique? Maybe. Individual? Absolutely.

    ps Cog, leave those flyspecks in the pepper. They belong there! LOL
     
  19. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    That particular flyspeck was just too funny to ignore. It changed the meaning enough that I literally laughed out loud.

    Then again, i have a rather, ummm, unique sense of humor.
     
  20. tarnished
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    tarnished Contributing Member Contributor

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    Ugh...
    This is brought up to a lot to me.

    I think, obviosuly, we're all special. If you get to caught up in being "special", different, and unique, you can lose yourself. Don't think of it as being different. Think of it as being yourself. Don't think about it at all, even. Just be yourself, what else matters?
     
  21. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Don't get me wrong, I love the people who don't fit in. That's about all who I hang out with, believe me. It's the feelings of superiority, where people just say ,"Oh, well I'm better than anyone, so I'm special". It's fine to know you're better because you're who you are, but to believe you're "special" is another matter entirely. I find that people who pretend to be psychic fall under this category. There's nothing particularly spectacular about them, but they can't cope with that so they pretend to have powers above ordinary humans to raise their own self-confidence. I just find that kind of behavior to be a form of low self-esteem.

    Oh, and I did mean herd animal in that sense Cog. So what? Sue me. :p

    I mean, we are more vicious than wolves really.
     
  22. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    are you unique?

    Lmao, no. Not at all. I'm just another 15 year old school girl, nothing remotly unique about me at all. I wish there was though sometimes .....
     
  23. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    here's my take on my own 'aloneness':

     
  24. ChimmyBear
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    ChimmyBear Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hmmm....I know that I don't fit into every mold. Actually, I am happy for this, it gives me a chance to simply be "Robin". I never cared much for being "one of the gang". By embracing who I am, my voice has clarity, and I find that people give my ideas a bit of consideration.

    When I was younger, I struggled with being on the outside, but as I matured I figured that I would be happier by creating my own circle. ;)
     
  25. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I am far more comfortable being just me. I can be a "team player", but I do very well alone as well.

    Alone and lonely are too very different things. I can be far lonelier with the wrong person thaqn I can ever be when I'm in my own company.
     

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