1. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    BABIEZ! OMG! Cute-ers!

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Duchess-Yukine-Suoh, Sep 19, 2013.

    Just to clarify, I have not gone insane. Writing the title like an insane person was my point.

    Normally, I don't worry too much about other people's lives. So, why should I worry about teen pregnancy? See, when a 10-year-old girl says to me "I think it'd be great to be a teen mom," I start to.

    Well, kids, there are a hundred different reasons why it would truly suck to be a teen parent.

    The first and most important: Money, or rather, your lack thereof. We can't escape the fact that children. cost. money. Just so I don't explode your heads with the amount of money it costs from birth to age 18, we'll start with birth to a year.

    Prices may vary, but a 2-bedroom apartment in my area WITHOUT roaches and mice costs $1,900 per month. That's $22,800 for one year. A used car (because you can't get around otherwise) is $6,000 at the very least. Now, let's get to feeding the baby. With formula and baby food, the total cost is around $1,800. That's just the baby, not you. Clothes is about $300, depending on where you buy it from. A crib is about 80 bucks and with sheets and a mattress, it's a ballpark figure of $200. Toys, mobiles, soap etc is about $90 total. Childcare is $8,800 per year.

    At the end of it all, you're paying a whopping $39, 990 for one year. Not including pre-natal care and all your needs as a parent. Guess what? After 1 year, the baby doesn't move out. You're still stuck with it and growing costs of food, clothes, etc.

    As if this wasn't bad enough, your chances of actually getting a job are pretty slim if you haven't finished college, let alone if you haven't finished high school.

    Plus, you can kiss dates and going out with friends good-bye. Even with childcare, you still need to bathe the baby, do night feedings, and stay in the house with them.

    So, really is it as good as it seems?
     
  2. Hagi
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    Hagi Member

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    It's a dumbass 10 year old girl, why do you even listen to them? All young girls want to do dumb shit and think dumb stuff. So as boys, becuase theyre young and practicly dumb. I can't really add becuase the point is, why do you even take those claims seriously? It's just a 10 year old girl.
     
  3. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    Why does this thread remind me of Maury?
     
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  4. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    What is Maury?
     
  5. edamame
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    edamame Contributing Member Contributor

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    Agreeing with you wholeheartedly that teen pregnancy is bad, but she's ten, so I'm not sure if she'll understand all your points. Ask if she could do everything that her mother does for her and how'd she feel to drop out of school and to not see her friends.
     
  6. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    It's a TV show. I think the official name is The Maury Povich Show, but most people call it Maury for short. It's a show where a bunch of idiots come on for paternity and lie detector tests. Occasionally there are young girls who are having sex with a bunch of guys because they want to have babies. The show is really ridiculous and not something you want to watch. The last time I watched it, I could actually feel my IQ dropping.
     
  7. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Man, I feel pretty good with my 3-bedroom townhouse for $700/mo.

    Also, if you are indeed a single mother, you will qualify for every government benefit there is which should cover medical costs, formula, food and probably rent.

    Then there's the child support from the unfortunate sperm donor.

    ...plus you'd be surprised how far you can stretch a bag of cereal and Mac n cheese.
     
  8. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    What do you mean "What is Maury?" Have you been living under a rock all of your life??? Have you ever heard any one quote "You ARE the Father!"? It comes from Maury... omg look him up on Youtube or something! lol

    Otherwise, I believe the girls are not to blame. We have allowed teen pregnancy to be glamorized to the point of acceptance because so many girl could relate. Perhaps the solution is not berating young girls with facts and statistics, but instead destroying the societal notion that teen pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Many teen spouses break up by 21 anyway because they were never finished growing anyway. We should be teaching them the truth in love. Showing them why certain dynamics (such as teen parenthood) should be avoided, AND why dynamics such as adult parenthood should be pursued. We are not doing anything to encourage our children to internalize the value of education, the value of patience, the value of hard work, determination, dedication.

    10 year olds are not what they used to be, they are more like teenagers, and rightly so. My 4 year old sister acts like a combo of a 4 year old and a 14 year old. I knew 12 year olds in middle school who were having sex and talking about staring a family. This was 6 years ago. A few of them have succeeded. Disparaging them--or trying to-- is not the answer. We just need to stop glamorizing things that undercut the values of our society. We don't want teen pregnancy, but it's reality tv. We don't want teens using drugs, and yet it is glamorized in all their music. We want them to value themselves and their image, but we allow the media to put out the message "Who cares what you do, it's your life, live young and wild and free, you're just having fun." I'm not saying all media is bad, but we need to stop promoting detrimental living.

    Every kid has a warped view of reality, they don't know what they're really seeing. It's worse for teenagers because they think they have it under control. I would know, I had a very good grip on reality as a teen ;) No, but I had parents who supported and instilled certain values, before saying "We understand you're going to want to explore these things, so be yourself and be safe." And when they did get to that point, my mom added the firm reminder, "And son, I trust you will talk to me before you get engaged in anything. If I find out you got a girl pregnant, I'll break your neck." Of course, WE NEVER FACED THAT ISSUE! :D But it was avoided more because I had internalized the idea that the struggle of teen parenthood was counterproductive to the life I wanted. My mom was a teen parent, and her mom before her. The trend says my sister should have been when she hit 16, but it was never glamorized when we were growing up. We played outside, used our imaginations, and learned things when we were kids. There were some things we couldn't watch because we were young and impressionable. Parents need to go back to nurturing and being parents instead of trying to be their kids' new bffs. You want to be your kid's friend, but you always have to be Mom or Dad first.
     
  9. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    Still, at 10, I wouldn't be worried about her. She only sees what we are giving her to see. Chance the view and she'll interpret things differently. :)
     
  10. Uberwatch
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    Uberwatch Active Member

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    I get annoyed when I see those "DNA tests are in. X guy is the father!" on that bloody show.

    Who the hell is tampering with the baby for DNA results as part of this sick show?
     
  11. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    Well someone would have to do it if the guy ants a paternity test. the people who go on Maury get a small pay off. I have an aunt who was on the show after sleeping with her neighbor I think... idk exactly, she's on the side of the family I don't see much of ha ha!

    Maury is nowhere near as stupifying as Jerry Springer And yet my sister and I watch both. Why? Because there is nothing we can take away from the show. We're too smart. If anything I've earned how many people don't think things through, how many people are lost in fantasies, how many people are out to con each other... I sure as heck know what to watch out for if I'm ever approached by a Transsexual (nothing against them, just not my cup of tea). Jerry Springer has taught me a few thing and given me a good laugh.
     
  12. Uberwatch
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    Uberwatch Active Member

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    The problem with these kind of shows is that TV-watchers are way into the personal lives of others. Reality TV basically speaking.
     
  13. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    I only watch those shows if I'm feeling down. Watching those people is enough to boost anyone's self-esteem.

    Also, some of the insults people use on those shows are interesting to say the least. "He's a cheating bird, Maury. A cheating bird."
     
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  14. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    I only see those shows when they are highlighted on The Soup.

    Also, a few years ago my husband and I were at a birthing class. Everyone else there was half our age. A couple of them said they couldn't wait to go on vacation with their baby. My husband and I laughed almost to tears. OMG - vacation with a BABY??? Talk about a living hell.
     
  15. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Thos are the same parents who throw lavish 1st birthday parties for their completely unaware and apathetic babies.
     
  16. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    Yeah, we are waaaaay to into each other's business, especially here in the States ha ha! Shows like Maury and Jerry Springer are funny, that's for sure, but then it calls into question what I said earlier in the thread. By popularizing these shows, are we not glamorizing and rewarding a sort of destructive lifestyle? On the one hand, we are exposing it, on the other we are promoting it. Then again, people go on the show for publicity and to have problems partially solved. The world wouldn't be hurt without these shows, to say the least. lol
     
  17. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    ^This is very true. My Mom and Dad are my friends, but they are still my parents. There are kids in my school who get away with all sorts of crap and their parents say "Kids will be kids."

    Kids will be kids until they fail school, get in a gang, disobey authority, etc. One of them dry-humped a teacher. I swear, he's gonna get 5-6 girls pregnant.

    When I was one, I don't think my parents did anything. Maybe we went to my grandma (who lives like an hour away) or something. It's a bit ridiculous to pay anything more than $30 on a 1-year-olds birthday. And that 30 should be spent on the parents' Wendy's.
     
  18. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    Yes, it depends on where you go and absolutely on your expectations. Our vacation resources are limited, though. On our vacations, I either want to totally relax, or see someplace/something I haven't seen before. So if we go somewhere exotic, it's not likely that we'll be going back anytime soon, since we want to see different places, rather than go someplace we've already been. (And we just don't have the time and money to go often.) I know someone whose in-laws had a place near Lake Como in Italy, and they went with their kids. If I had that situation, then sure, I'd go.

    It didn't sound to me, though, that that sort of situation was what the kids we saw had in mind.

    For me, it's not worth it to go with a baby. We went on a cruise when my older son was 4 3/4, and to Curacao when he was 5 3/4. They were both awesome. The cruise was also the first trip we made where we didn't need to bring diapers, sippy cups, any sort of special food, etc. My younger son just turned 4, and we're going to a resort in May, which I hope goes well. So far, we've only brought him to the beach, Chicago, and to my parents' and inlaws'. (And he makes those pretty trying sometimes.)
     
  19. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    I won't cast judgement on anyone's parenting style, but I know that if parents don't take the responsibility of teaching their children, then the world will do it for them. Having a 4 year old sister while I myself am only a few months shy of 20, I realize how important it is for parents to instill certain values and teach kids throughout their development. If they do not, the children will learn from friends and tv and it won't always be to our liking.

    This is not true for all kids, but I can see (and have seen) how this can be a large majority. It all depends on their environment when it comes to child development their are a lot of factors that may lead to deviance. I don't disagree though. And I've said before, one of my former classmates had a baby with a teacher... Another of my classmates didn't graduate on-time because she had a baby. Two of my friends got married right after graduation. 3 of our Mexican football players had at least one kid prior to their junior and senior years. And yet for many of them, it was not a problem. Culture is another huge factor.

    All that aside, I believe firmly that whatever values we want children to exhibit, we have to take the role of parent more seriously in order to instill said values. Entire books can be (and have been) written on the very subject ha ha!
     
  20. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    So, too much MTV's Teen Moms and this is the result? (well, no). I think becoming a teen mom is more prevalent in places where contraception and abortions are left out of the family planning equation, and there are expectations of motherhood, perhaps in the surrouding culture or family ("I had you when I was your age, so where're my grandkids?"). This combined with lack of education... Teen moms and dads galore. Of course some do it out of choice too, but more often that not, the offspring is a blissful accident.

    In fact, it seems more prevalent to postpone motherhood in our society nowadays. Women are career-oriented, the economy is still terrible in many 1st world countries, and the need to find the mate and settle down doesn't seem as important as pursuing careers and "enjoying the freedom while you've still got it."

    Basically I know that if T and I now got a little baby friend, we could support him/her even though we're pretty unstable economically -- there're all those benefits you can get and grandparents are happy to pay for stuff. But the idea of bringing yet another kid to our already overpopulated world doesn't appeal to me right now, and adoption is made very difficult and expensive, and I avoid becoming a financial burden to anyone anyway. Most likely I'll be a "late" mom, then.

    That 10yo girl is just being a naïve 10-year-old.
     
  21. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    This goes right along with what I said about the environment and culture being major contributors. I know where I lived, in San Bernardino, CA, the values were a bit different. Youth are less ambitious because many of them are broke, and their parents are broke, and they'e just brainwashed into the idea "what is school going to do for me I can't afford college and I'm not smart enough for a scholarship." And their parents may not tell them otherwise because they're just busy trying to bring some money into the house. The family love isn't as strong so youths turn to friends and relationships. Before you know it they are teen parents leaving school to work and the cycle begins again. They don't think about birth control. Who's there talking about it?

    Yet drive 6 miles east to East Highland and you have wealthier families that value success and education and can afford the bright future. Families do things together because they can afford their lives. As a result the youth stay in school, because their holding on to a vision of prosperity that is a very big reality for them. Their parents tell them of the "dangers" of sex, so they push it off or use protection. They are kids pretty much until they graduate. Now there are some who decided to start families young. I know a couple and they are just the cutest. And their families support them.

    I give these two different demographics because, in my experience, the low income culture is less focused on goals and future ambitions and more on bringing in money. When it comes to family things are far less orderly because certain levels of order are never established. When the dad is gone and the mom has to work, kids live with gramma. Quite different from mom and dad being their or developing a plan for child care or whatever the case. Additionally, I find that among my Latino friends, the males are encouraged to work hard, some go to college, some do not, many of the females are encouraged to get through high school, find a hard working boyfriend, and start a family. That speaks to a certain element of their specific culture. That is not to say it is true of all or even most people in the aforementioned demographics. Just what I've seen and experienced.
     
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  22. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    That being said, I live in a low-income mostly Indian-immigrant neighborhood (I'm white but still lower-middle class) and where the grandparents/older relatives are involved, the kids do one hell of a lot better than in the richer (Richer, ahaha.) families where it's only mom and dad. Of course, the kids in my neighborhood have both parents, so that helps too.

    Other than to stop glamorizing teen pregnancy, my other solution is to get teens involved in stuff like volunteering, after-school activities, etc. I read somewhere that children/teens should have at least 3 hours of activities besides school and home every week.
     
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  23. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    You are right. But you cannot force it on them. You have to start that when they're young. encourage them to explore so by the time they are older they have interests of their own. Whatever is going to occupy their time has to be something that occupies their hearts, otherwise they may desert it for something more interesting. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Better, it is, to have water available so it's there when the horse wants it. After-school activities come in many forms, even if it is more school. I have had friends who went to school, then went home to do hours of homework, and that was it. But they did it because they had a vision and that is what it took to reach their vision. One of my friends is on his way to becoming the President. That's his dream, and I believe he can make it. I have another friend who went to school, then went home and played video games. it's where his interests were. Now he does Youtube videos of playing video games and he found a sponsor. Of course many of my football playing friends are still playing in college or volunteer coaching now.

    I was the video/tech department head for the football team (yes before graduation) and one of the boys I trained is now with me at ASU, and he's now working for their football team. One of the Discus throwers I trained might get the opportunity to throw at UCSD. The point of all these examples is to show that there are many ways for children and teens to get engaged in something. I have many other friends who volunteered in all of her free time. Myself, I rarely volunteered, but I had goals and vision. My free time was spent in extracurriculars, but I chose to do film for football instead of play. I chose to throw hen I would have made a better runner. I learned to teach and coach. I wrote short stories at home. Now I'm studying to become an English teacher and Track and field coach.

    So I submit that the answer isn't "getting teens..." anywhere. Teen years are a time to explore one's self. I believe that the answer lies with the children and keeping them open and interested in life. And when they are teenagers, never letting them forget themselves and their values as they try to explore. The Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). That's not to say everyone is or has to be a christian, but I think that quote is universal.
     
  24. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    Sorry I'm a very long-winded guy sometimes.
     

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