I went to the gardening store with my father-in-law who loves puns and silly stuff. I asked him what he was after (and why he'd brought me along; he said there was heavy lifting involved). He said he was after moo-poo and baa-poo. I said, no whinny the poo?
This is actually on a t-shirt of a boy and girl standing in front of a bathtub: Captioned with: No you can't have mine, cause you broke yours off.
Yeah. I thought maybe that was it. Problem - because the context was Marta was trying to seal the door, and perhaps because I've never done my nails before, I immediately assumed it was a metal nail that got broken.
Well half the fun is in the not knowing, let it play on your mind for a bit. It will make sense in time.
Don't you like bad jokes? Well then, you''ll love this. What's a vampire's favourite fruit? A neck-tarine. What did the vampire take pills? Because he was coffin'. Why do the vampires in Twilight sparkle? The fuck if I know.
"Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!" Exactly "What?" It's inflation "I hate you"
two people talking about euthanasia then someone overhearing it says, "yeah, I don't know what is up with those chinese kids"
The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
Cuts were made to my health insurance policy, the only coverage I can afford now is six feet of dirt.
I told my girlfriend I was a writer. She laughed her ass off and left me at the end of chapter 1. In chapter 2 I wrote about the plan for her untimely demise.
I actually found this on the menu at a Mexican restaurant: "Look at my new hearing aid! It just came in the mail this morning and it only cost me $900." "Really? What kind is it?" "12:30"
