1. Esaul
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    Esaul Member

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    BDW: Plot

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Esaul, Nov 10, 2006.

    Okay here is basically my plot for the First Book of Quar. I would like to see if people think the plot is okay, or if it is too cliche, too predictable, etc. I want constructive criticism, good or bad. Please and thank you.

    Plot:

    The Dark Age had ended many years ago, the Dark Lord had not been slain though. Years slowly passed when wind had arrived that the Dark Lord was after a boy with a sword that brought him great interest. It belonged to an elven dragon warrior Elrus, the sword itself was named Aylra mistakenly translated by humans to come out as "blade" thinking that was what he had called his sword and not his dragon.

    The underlying part in the first book is for the main character to decide whether or not to become the ancient warrior (and to never return to his original state) to save the people of Quar. War has also broken out calling upon the able people to fight the war. The two characters must help as well, fighting on the dragons they had little training with.

    Serving the Dark Lord is a wizard who sends his army to destroy Emmar in search of the Shards of Quar (which play a bigger role in the sequel)

    _______

    Please bear with me, I have never ever ever shared the "plot" with anyone because I never formally typed out a "plot" i always had it stuck in my mind. So if it does not make sense I apologize because honestly it all makes sense to me since i created it.

    But I could use ideas to strengthen my story, and what things i should get rid of and what not.
     
  2. Spherical Time
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    Spherical Time Contributing Member

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    It sounds like you have conflict, but from such a general outline, I don't think there are many suggestions that I can make.

    Off the top of my head though, it sounds awfully like Eragon.
     
  3. zerobytes
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    zerobytes Contributing Member

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    sounds like a great start. You do need to flesh it out a little bit, though. It definitely sounds a little cliché at the beginning but you have a nice twist with the language thing - just make sure that you don't expect the entire story to hold up with that one twist. One thing that I would like to see made a little more clear is how the Dark Lord has made a return and what's going on with the child warrior taking on the spirit of the ancient warrior. All things considered, it sounds like a cross between The Lord of the rings, Dragonheart, and Eregon, as spherical time said. Of course, these are stories that have done VERY well for themselves so having something similar out there wouldn't hurt one bit. (Heck, Final Fantasy rehashed the same storyline 8 times and they're still selling new (and old) stuff). Looks like the kind of story I'd love to read so good luck and remember "a vision's just a vision if it's only in your head. If a vision's never written then it might as well be dead." - Stephen Sondheim.

    zb
     
  4. Sapphire
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    Sapphire Senior Member

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    Sorry Esaul, but I'm going to have to agree with Spherical Time. It does sound extremely similar to Eragon...
     
  5. Esaul
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    Esaul Member

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    Dragonheart?

    Point out how they are similar then. I have read both Eragon and Lord of the Rings and have seen no similarities at all.

    I have had people read my latest version and they do no think it is like Eragon either. They weren't my friends, just random people on a site similar to this.
     

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