1. Phantomwriter
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    Phantomwriter Member

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    Believable character?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Phantomwriter, Aug 18, 2011.

    Ok so I have this character in mind and she is in a fanfic universe (the x-men universe to be exact). Her name is Giselle Gregerson and she is 32-years-old and basically like a care taker at the Xavier mansion/school. A lot of the kids consider her to be like a mom or a second mother and they all call her 'Momma G'. She is very caring and loves the kids like they were her own and would gladly give her life for them.

    Her history is that she came to the Xavier mansion at the age of 19 even though she is not a mutant. Ever since then she has been taking care of the kids and helping run the mansion. I first introduce her in the first movie (though she is not a main character, in a since) and then develope her character along all 3 movies. In the fourth installment is when we really get to learn more about her.

    This is where it gets... lost... and confusing.... and I think a little unbelievable. I want it to where her parents were both mutants. Her father was a mutant hunter (ironic) but hid his abilities from his... associates. Then of course the cliche romance- he was hunting Giselle's mother and they ended up falling in love and running away. But of course the group Giselle's father was in doesn't allow that so they start going after him and her. They hid out at Xavier's mansion for a bit before they left, moving around to stay ahead of the group hunting after them. I'm unsure how, but the group ends up catching up with them at one point (this is after Giselle is born but is still an infant) and ends up killing the mother. The father ends up taking her to the wilderness of Alaska where he raises her, training her to be like him while using his abilities to go around the world and kill known members of the group he was once apart of.

    At one point I want to have it where during one of her training excersices, she has an accident that basically makes it to where she has to have a total hysterectomy, including the removal of her ovaries, to save her life (unsure what age though I think 13?). The main turning point in her life though happens when she is 16, when the group her father was working for finally finds them and kills her father in front of her eyes. They let her live because she doesn't show any signs of being a mutant but she vows to kill them so not only to avenge her father but to also makes sure that it doesn't happen to any other family again. She does this for 2 years before finding a 'home' in a club that is meant for mutants so they don't have to hide. She still continues to hunt down members of the group but always returns back to the club (which is where she gets her nickname because whenever she was there she acts like a mother to everyone). A year later she finally is able to hunt down the main guy in charge of the group and kills him and as she is walking away from the scene of the crime that's where Charles finds her and offers her a home. She is resistant at first but finally gives in when Charles says that now since the boss is dead the group would go so far underground that she may never find all the members but promises that if they do surface again she can continue her mission.

    I want to have it where in the fourth installment they come back and she leaves, without saying goodbye to anyone, for a year. She only returns home once at that is to talk to Charles about up-ing his security around the mansion and as she is leaving runs into someone (won't name who cause it's the love interest). End result really is that everyone finds out about her, shocking everyone.


    She kind of has a little psychopathic qualities cause she is able to hid her true feelings so well. She is 5'4" and because of the hysterectomy her body is slighly under developed (chest area and hips aren't that promeinent). Also I would like to add she does carry the mutant gene but because of her lack of hormones her powers never developed/showed. They will show though after a certain event and basically she has the gift to heal people but the effect of it is that once she heals them whatever ailment they had her body mimics it (so say someone broke their leg, she touches them, they are healed but her end result is that her leg becomes broken) I have a way of fixing that but I don't want to give too much away ;)


    So what do you think? Too much? If so what can I do?

    Note: I honestly don't know what the true effects of a hysterectomy has on a body at a young age. The info I have has been a. gathered on the internet and b. has been gathered from knowledge of tv shows. So if anyone has any advice that would be great.

    EDIT: Forgot to add this. She only is really well trained in hand-to-hand combat and her weapons of choice are hand guns and knives.
     
  2. Vampire Muffin
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    Vampire Muffin New Member

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    Well, she us a pretty believable character despite for the healing aspect. I think instead of transmitting the ailment she should be come fatigued, even to the point of death to heal the ailment. Her background is pretty believable, the only thing I find confusing is how she got into the "club" without being a mutant.
     
  3. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    How believable she is can only be determined from the final writing, not from any kind of synopsis.
     
  4. proserpine
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    proserpine Member

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    I find the complete-hysterectomy-due-to-injury a bit unbelievable. I have heard of women having an ovary or tube removed due to injury, but not the whole shebang. Usually, that is removed due to illness, like cancer.

    Is it possible that someone could give her a hysterectomy to remove her powers, and that her powers had something to do with reproduction?

    No expert on female surgeries, but I figure if I'm the average reader, I might be helpful.

    Good luck with your writing.
     
  5. Phantomwriter
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    Phantomwriter Member

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    Well I am making it to where the club owner finds her in the street and takes her in not knowing she was a mutant.

    This is true. Yet I just wanted to ask. I love this character I was just curious to see a reaction, if that makes sense.

    No, to your question. The way I see it is that since mutant powers become active during puberty taking an important factor in the reproductive organs stop her from showing her powers. So do you think I should just remove the ovaries?
     
  6. StrangerWithNoName
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    StrangerWithNoName Longobard duke

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    If you're an X men story you don't really need believable characters...:D;)
     

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