1. Yuli Ban
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    Yuli Ban Member

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    Belle Grand-Mär: Would this interest you?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Yuli Ban, Feb 27, 2014.

    For a novella on my mind, Belle Grand-Mär, I've done little more than throw a bunch of influences together and call it a story, so if you're into any of these, I beg of thee to stay tuned!

    BGM is the result of a mixture of The World Ends With You, Jet Set Radio Future, Scott Pilgrim, FLCL, Adventure Time, and Mirror's Edge.
    The current plot stands at: eccentric "chaosborn" psychokinetic teenage girl, Belle Grand-Mär, comes to Oz City and meets budding shaggy haired collegian stoner rocker, Gideon Lennon, who becomes smitten with her. Equally eccentric madman and ex-boyfriend, Kid Mobio, follows BGM to Oz City and employs the Oz City Rockettes to whack Lennon, the Rockettes being a team of assassins with strange abilities or characteristics.
    The twist being Lennon is a fighting prodigy and chaosborn himself. He and BGM vow to take down the Rockettes and defeat Mobio, who winds up jacking the city's political system and then using some sort of ultraterrestrial magic to unleash wraiths, all to harry the couple.
    And, of course, Lennon uses the power of bluesy rock and roll to aid his efforts while Belle demonstrates just utter insanity. All while dating.

    It's a very weird story, I admit, and you can clearly see the Scott Pilgrim, FLCL, and JSRF influences and you'd have to read it to see the TWEWY, AT, and ME aspects, but that's the point of it. It's still an early draft since I'm actually working on an entirely separate novel series, but I really just wanted to talk about BGM for once.
    Oh, and hi.
     
  2. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Welcome to the forum. I say write it. Of course I don't have a clue what any of that is about, but it sounds interesting. :)
     
  3. JayG
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    JayG Banned Contributor

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    Things happen, yes, but why would a reader care? To make a reader turn the pages you have to do more than provide a series of events. You need to provide emotional entertainment. You need to give the reader a personal and ongoing emotional stake in the events and the life of the protagonist. The reader wants to experience the story as if living it, and be faced with the problems the protagonist faces. If you can do that in the framework of what you propose, good. If not...
     
    jazzabel likes this.
  4. David K. Thomasson
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    David K. Thomasson Contributing Member

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    Nothing in your description moves my needle off zero.
     
  5. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Ask me after it's written. Until then, it's only an idea.
     
  6. Goldstein
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    Goldstein Member

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    The characters are "crazy" and "wacky" and "lulz teh random," but like others have said, why should we care about them? Making characters random and insane is all well and good, but they've also got to be likable. The reader shouldn't roll their eyes with irritation at the character's antics.
     
  7. Glen Snow
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    Glen Snow Member

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    Brutal Honesty Time....Ready....Go!
    It's seems that rather than being inspired by "The World Ends With You, Jet Set Radio Future, Scott Pilgrim, FLCL,Adventure Time, and Mirror's Edge" You instead put them on a cutting board chopped off the pieces you like and stapled them together.
    What are these characters motivations? Why does Kid Mobio want Belle back so bad that he's willing to do all that? What the hell is "ultraterrestrial magic" for that matter? Or Chaosborn?

    I do like the name Kid Mobio it just sounds right for this type of thing. However I would have to hear more about this idea to fully understand it. (I can barely get FLCL on it's own.)
     
  8. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    Leave it to you to stifle real innovation, in a shameless grab for more government funding.
     
  9. Yuli Ban
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    Yuli Ban Member

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    Truth be told, this is a story I've left on the backburner for some time so for all this "brutal honesty" is exactly what I need. BGM is not developed at all, and I hope to see it push forward some more.
     

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