Betraying your Inner Writer; sharing your story while it's still being born.

I saw someone the other day on another writing forum say, "If someone can discourage you from writing, then you're not a writer."

I wholeheartedly disagreed with that sentiment, but I didn't have any real evidence to back up why it was wrong (in my opinion). Thanks for sharing this snippet, Ed.

 

To play devil's advocate, I think what that person meant was that writers learn to not give two excretments if someone thinks their idea sucks. They have an idea for a story, and by God, they're going to do it regardless of who says otherwise.

If a new writer listens to the people discouraging them and give up writing all together, then what does that make them?

I think that's what the person was trying to say.

 

I think it's the difference between what is and what ideally should be. An experienced writer will shrug off negative comments if (s)he is truly committed to the project. But an inexperienced writer WILL give two excrements, even though (s)he shouldn't, because it takes time and experience for skin to thicken.

 

Ooh, okay. I see now. Thanks for clarifying it.

 

I'm not entirely sure that the issue at the start of this thread has to do with feedback. For some people this isn't a problem but for others it's like creating a painting and then showing it before it's completed. To some they would like the critique and for others it would feel like a betrayal. Each artist is different. My suggestion would be to treat it like a game. You told your story's secret so now think of a way to change it while staying true to it. Pretend that at the end of the story, the person you told is reading the book and they finish with the exclamation, "I never expected that!" You gave them a small fraction of it. They don't understand the motivations, the dilemmas, the sufferings and joys that your characters are depending on you to give them.

 

Exactly this. The advice was being given to someone new to writing, and in that context I absolutely had to disagree. I do understand how it would apply differently to a seasoned writer, but even then, things happen. Barbara Streisand suffers from such horrible stage fright that it prevented her from singing live for close to 30 years. Things happen, people are people, flesh with feelings is all we are.

 

I'm sorry if I come across as insensitive, but it sounds like you're making this out to be way bigger a deal than it is. You write because well, you love to write. You write because you want the story to be read in all its glory - just telling people the plan, that's nothing, that's the skeleton, they haven't even got to the juicy bits or got to know your characters yet! You write because you love the story - and frankly if you can lose the love that fast, the truth is it might not be a project you could bring to finish in the first place. And an even more important truth is - if you wanted to finish, you'd let nothing stop you.

I'm so tired of my own novel - it's been 2 years, I've probably deleted 200,000 words and I'm editing for the 3rd time now - I'm bored to tears. I stare at it and it's great effort to make myself even type, let alone think. But I do it. It's not because I'm better, it's not because I have great inspiration - heck by this point, it's not even because I love the story or that I have passion for it - it's none of those. I do it because I chose to - because I want to finish. I've put too much into this for it not to finish, and I want a book I'll be proud of. Sometimes you don't "feel like" something, sometimes you don't love it - but you do it.

My dad is right here, he says, "Don't treat it as a hobby, or you'll never get anywhere. Treat it as a 9-5 job." When it's a job, do you still go to work even when you hate what you do? Yes, you get off your butt at 7am and you go to work and you go even when you're not feeling well sometimes. That's called commitment. If you can't commit to your story after such a small obstacle (if it could be called an obstacle), then maybe you don't have what it takes to finish.

The only question you have to ask yourself is: Are you gonna write this? If yes, get writing. Nothing else matters. If you want to finish, trust me - you WILL finish. Get writing - it's pretty much the only thing that will bring back your passion for this story, and the inspiration too.

 

Well I never really lose vision its just getting it down that can be the hard part getting it right even harder. I just take my time more then I used to when writing no more rushing and letting character's develop how they will

 

I wrote a non-fiction book about high performance driving about 5 years ago. It was one of the worst experiences of my life at times and I know the the subject matter! It took a year and I was soo sick of that book when I finished it - lol. I feel your pain.

Anyway to the OP I'd say walk away from that book a bit if you don't have the desire to write it now. Maybe next month or next year you can start on it again. GL

 

...why ? I agree with the author of the thread. If simple words like "oh, forget about writing a novel, you won't make it," deter you from bringing
your vision to life, then really you're not a writer. The reason why we extole the world-famous writers is this: their mindset is like: "F*ck this,
I know how to write. I know to tell stories. I've got some pretty good ideas. I'll do it." - it's the relentlessness that is so intriguing... that, no matter
the flaws of the story or the language, they managed to move stories and environments from "Neverland" to our world through the written word.
That's the real magic.

In other case you'll grow old with a sentimental, self-gratifying self-esteem of wanna-be writer. That's the case if sb can discourage you.
The real writer fights back with words to defend his stories. I'm just sayin'.

[Also, why tell your story to sb that can discourage you in the first place?]

 

...why's that ??? Was it too demanding for no real outcome ? Was the book a disaster ? I'm really interested what was it about...

 

...with this approach you can end up [your life] without having written anything...

 

I followed up with my "why" in a subsequent post. EdFromNY posted how James Michener let someone's discouragement prevent him from writing a certain tale, and it took him thirty years to get back to that story, and I posted about how Barbara Streisand's crippling stage fright prevented her from singing live for almost thirty years. These are two professionals, two people who have the drive and ambition to make it to the top of their respective fields, and yet they still let feelings of discouragement sway them from doing what they do.

People are people and have all sorts of reasons for doing things. Being successful in a creative field means you live your life much closer to your feelings and emotions than those in not so creative fields. I don't see why having self-doubt because of something someone said about your creative output would make you not a writer. To me it just makes you a human being.

 

I think you've just won a bajillion respect points. I have to agree.

If its a burning passion of yours, then do it. Ignore people who will discourage you.

The door swings both ways. If there are folks who think you shouldn't write it, that say they won't read it, then are there not folks who really want to read your stuff?

Write for those folks.

 

Woo! I'll see if I can find a jar to put them in, thanks.

 

Or perhaps a war...

 

Or even a bar. Yeah, a bar sounds good.

Bartender!

 

I must've skipped your posts of explanation....now I can see your point. But still I don't know if I agree.
In general, yes, I do.
In my case in particular if there was a thirty year gap after my last production, I would never
get back to it again. My philosophy is never to get to that stage in the first place and in my opinion a single critical remark shouldn't
deter one from writing, evar ! - 'cos it's really a single remark. Ok, if it's 89 out of 100, then something is wrong. But one ? To hell
with it.

Maybe my approach has to do somehting with
my life. At my language school I heard very nasty things regarding myself every day for two years. It was explicit, vicious, antisocial, attacking the very core of my being
and it hurt the more so that I'm friendly and didn't know why they hated me. One of the mainstays of my life was under attack every f*cking
single day for two years, but I didn't leave it for a second [both my life and its mainstay]. 'Cos I couldn't stop living and had to go on, right ? Should I have committed suicide ?
No. And they did, they did tell me to "jump under a train, you pig". Did I have doubts about myself ? Sure. Bur these were split-second doubts, 'cos my heart knew they were unjustified an built upon very poor evidence - just for their "fun of it".

You may now be able to see why my remark was a bit extreme in a way, 'cos my conditions in a certain social group used to be verging on extreme and
attacked not my book or a novel or my singing but me. I was discouraged by many and was actually implicitly told to give up on myself like I was dirt. I didn't have thirty years to recover after a daily dose of sh*t, 'cos the next day the severe fight begun anew.
Oh, and that's in fact nothing. Imagine an unjustly imprisoned prisoner - he has to fight every day for the single thought of being there on sb's whim, he has to defend his inocence - not for the others, but for himself alone in his mind, not to get mad. This, still, is nothing to the Gulag prisoners who, appart from being there largerly unjustly, had no prospect of getting out - ever. And didn't even have personal space in the cell. Sometimes not even a toilet bucket.
Let's add up - sex slaves on ships heading somewhere to the south, how about them ?
Children soldiers and prostitutes.

Poor writer who gets discouraged from writing [by a single comment]. That's a sign of weakness, sorry.

"Writer" obviosly has a different definition in my vocabulary, for one thing, he's strong in will. That's why I reacted so.

To sum it up - If there's sb who discourages me and literary tells me to stop writing, I now have a retort "F*ck you." 'cos nobody, nobody has the right to tell you to stop writing, no even government and again we're at Russian authors who wrote in the danger of being
imprisoned. That's some courage.

 

No one knows what my story is about. It is my little secret and to be honest, I couldn't bear criticism of it right now. It is my heart and soul.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. I do have a very personal understanding of what it's like to be openly hated by people simply because of who I am and what I am, and not because of my character, and I don't wish that on anyone, for any reason.

 

Sorry for getting heated up a bit. Sorry to hear that too. Hope you're fine with your current surroundings now.

Btw. your new avatar looks better and you friendlier

 

Getting back on the original question of the thread.
I struggled with the telling/killing the interest for a while and I think I found the reason.
At least for me.

I think when you explain quickly/broadly what your story is about it cheapens it because the bare bones can sound well...overly simplistic or even lame.
The beauty of a good story is how its fleshed out and how real the character feel. how the pace swepts you away etc.... That part is left out when you give someone the 5 minutes version of your story and suddenly it sounds so ...lame, two dimensional, already done (insert what ever it is you feel here).

But really even the best novel ever, your favorite would sound the same if were to describe it in those terms too!!

"Its this story about a boy that lives with his stepparents, he's kind of abused but he then finds out that his parents were really killed by an evil wizard and then he gets to go to this school of magic where he meets other young wizards"

"Its about this young girl that has a crush on an older boy, she lies about a particular incident because of spite and the lifes of many are forever changed."

I mean pick any novel good or bad and reducing it to its barest plot is can sound lame and overly simplistic and *that* I find is what kills my drive to write it.

So I keep my mouth shut and keep it to the basic facts: its a romance, its a thriller, its sci-fi.
I then switch to the challenge of writting ("I'm finding myself doing a lot of research on Lauzanne, Switzerland, because some of my action is based there.)

Anyway, as always: my two cents worth.

 

Still Writing

Wow thanks everyone for all the feedback! I understand that most of you haven't experienced what I'm describing; the loss of the passion for the story because of 'explaining it away' and I actually agree with the attitude of "just get on with it". After all that's what we as writers have to do everyday.

I wanted to understand myself what had happened, and I appreciate your explanation, Elfin; it makes sense and helps me not to feel so ridiculous for my little drama.
Part of the issue for me is the way I write; I invent the story as I write it. There is that time when the characters are revealing themselves, the plot is uncoiling like silk from the cocoon and you have to tease it out slowly, gently. Until I've completed my first draft I feel I have to protect the story, keep it from the sunlight until I know what it is becoming. Perhaps this sounds ridiculous to those whose creative writing works very differently, but this is how it feels for me.

Regardless, I have to keep going because I Must Write. I could no more hold all the stories inside than I could hold back the tide. I think my brain would pop. I need to write in the way most people need to drink, eat, sleep; I can stop for a while, but it gets jolly uncomfortable. For me, that's how I know I'm a writer- I write. Because I was made to write, because I have to tell my stories. As some of you have said, only I can tell those stories.

Hwaigon, I'm really grieved that you have been so persecuted, I have experienced life as a living hell at times myself and I totally respect your endurance in the face of such hate.
I've been told by well meaning people that you can't be a good writer until you've suffered, and I wanted to reply well I'm gonna be one heck of a writer than, huh.

The response I got to my story wasn't really negative, I think it was much like what Elfin describes, and somehow I didn't feel like writing it anymore. But I can't walk away, so I've kept writing as I can, and have done some dialog, worked some different characters, tried to coax the characters out to talk to me again. I will keep going.

 

I got a bit heated up, as already stated; not that I got the worst persecution, far from it. People have suffered more. But it was deffinitely enough to force me to stand my grounds
and advocate my thoughts, which is of great advantage now in my present.

I also feel sympathetic with your experience. But, as you said, it's good if it makes us better. All's well that's well in the end, they say.
And, yes. There are people who haven't experienced any hardships (poor them) and such people wouldn't make for good writers, obviously (they don't make
for good people either) They have the possibility not to care. Well, the rest of use should care, 'cos it always pays out
One has to care for other people to become a good writer/person.

Thanx for caring

 

Thanks Hwaigon you are welcome!