I almost NEVER say 'never,' but it's a good old word, and needs dragged out every now and again, just to keep it rust-free...
Well, you can always soften the blow with a bucket of ice cream? It's probably better to be honest, but it's also fair to explain why you think the way you do about his writing. Be constructive and end your critique on a positive note
That would be my advice as well. I try to start and end my crits on a positive note while dishing out the brutal truths in the middle. If I crit a chapter / part at a time, I can tell pretty early if the person receiving the crits can handle it and if it looks like they can't, I'll let them know the collaboration isn't working and that they would be better served by someone else (but I'd do that in a very polite manner as well). Come to think of it, I've never had to do that yet since I try to choose those I crit.
I feel like I should be able to handle this now. Thanks, everyone. Now just to wait for him to get out of the hospital and come back to work...
Preface your review with "I am gonna dickpunch you so freaking hard in a minute." That should lighten the mood a bit.
Look on the bright side, at least he hasn't published it yet. A friend of mine hooked me up with an acquaintance who had just self-published his first novel, a conspiracy thriller. The author, who is brand new to writing fiction, wanted some critique and opinions on his work from some more literary/reader types. I just finished it, and unfortunately, it was pretty disappointing all around. He had a few neat ideas, but his characters were most all one dimensional and the writing was occasionally cringe-worthy. The book needed several major rewrites before publishing... But the damage is done, it's been published already... how to break the bad news without sounding cruel...
I don't know if he self-published on Kindle, but apparently if you do, you CAN still edit your published work after it's been published for sale. One of my colleagues at my local writers' group is doing that very thing just now, so I know it can be done. Mind you, if it's needing major edit changes, not just a few minor corrections, it would probably be best to withdraw the book altogether and resubmit it later, once the changes have all been made. You make a great point, though. It's just too damn easy these days to upload an unpolished work onto self-publishing sites. Don't do it. Take as much care editing your 'book' as you would if you were submitting it to a traditional publishing house instead. I've dipped into quite a number of self-published novels online, and most of them really are awful—dull and clunky prose, trite storylines and characters. Sometimes the writing is grammatically incoherent, making it actually unreadable. That kind of carelessness hurts the whole self-publishing image.
It seems there are as many personality issues as writing issues in this situation. The original question referred to sexism, arrogance, and blowing off a not-positive evaluation with a dismissive "maybe it's not your thing" comment. I'm not suggesting that personality issues can be separated from writing issues, they're severely intertwined, but recognizing the difference can help in forming a productive response. It sounds like this author recognizes your writing talent and is looking for acceptance and praise more than honest suggestions for improvement. You obviously want to help, but you shouldn't waste your time formulating a response that will be immediately dismissed by the recipient. My two cents is if you make the choice to assist this writer with their manuscript, you need to be honest and free with your opinions. It's fine to adjust the presentation for the audience (arrogant, sexist old fart), but the substance of your opinion should retain its integrity regardless of how you expect the recipient to receive it. Like any other bad news situation. Some people are easier to break bad news to than others. Your approach may be different, but it's still the best thing to be direct and clear about it.
I once had a guy hand me his self-published "book". It had plot holes, logic errors, constant changes in tense, outrageous dialogue attribution, weak characters, was full of the author whining and complaining about things he didn't like, and at the end... I swear to God... it turned out IT WAS ALL A DREAM. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life I've been lost for words. When he asked me, "So. What'd ya think?", that was one of them.
How about 'blimey.' Or 'what a book.' ??? Then get a coughing fit, or an attack of acute diarrhea. Or suddenly remember you've gone off and left the children on the stove again...
Ok, first red flag for me would've been that someone asked me to read AND edit their entire novel. In my experience, only selfish and relatively clueless people expect from acquaintances and other people they don't know very well personally, to make such a massive investment of their time. Heck, even with family and friends, it's polite to give small chunks and ask if they have time for it. Full edits take a lot of time and skill, and people need to be paid for that. It also tells me that such a writer is already in love with his work and that he isn't amenable to being told about his writing quirks and problems, because his response would most likely be "if you read the entire book it would make sense". Sure, some degree of familiarity with the whole story can be helpful in explaining character's actions and plot development, but it has no bearing on crap pacing, syntax errors and purple prose, for example, which can be easily picked up from a short excerpt. I've been in your position several times before. It taught me that the only way to avoid it is to avoid accepting entire manuscripts for review. I always ask for a small excerpt instead (a couple of pages or a short chapter at most) and take it from there. And I have to admit that 99% of people who don't get rave reviews (even if the words I use are extremely cautious and kind, but lack in superlatives) don't proceed asking for more reviews from me. This makes me think that such people only want validation, regardless of whether it is honest of not. About your co-worker, it's difficult to give you any advice because he sounds like a difficult person and because you have to work with him. He certainly doesn't sound like someone you'd like to hang around much, since his sexism and arrogance bother you. I'd probably say that I liked it (for peace's sake) but that I have no time to edit anything, wished him good luck and never mention it again
