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  1. Elyse Elwood
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    Elyse Elwood Member

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    Breif Snyopsis: Experiment...Help please

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Elyse Elwood, Jun 15, 2008.

    I was a little unsure where to post this but I thought maybe this might be the ideal place consdiering it's all about the plot.

    Free doesn’t have the most amazing memory of her life, but what she remembers is important. All she needs to know in life is who the enemy is and how to kill them; after all that’s the life of an assassin. At some point in her life, she was sent to the Academy where she underwent many tests and surgeries until she finally became the perfect soldier. After all this she was paired up with her brother, Emmett who is supposed to be her Guardian Angel. But when things start to change and she goes to her brother for help she is unable to get any.

    For the past few nights, over and over again Free is plagued by nightmares of a young girl named Araceli. All the dreams are strange though because while she stands on the beach watching her hometown burn, Free is able to feel all of Araceli’s emotions, she is able to think the same things that she does. Like what happened to her parents and she wonders where her brother is. To make it worse, Free feels the pain of Araceli as she tries to kill herself, and then she feels the relief when Araceli is pulled out of the water. Then she looks up to see an angel leaning over her…this is where the dream stops leaving Free to wake up in a terrible mood.

    And every time she asks for help, like whenever she asks her brother, people laugh in her face because apparently she is not supposed to feel emotions or pain. Therefore, she tries to take her mind off these nightmares by going to her leader, Seth, requesting to be sent out on a mission and he already has the perfect one set of. Free is supposed to go out and find Rain a girl similar to her. She too went to the Academy and became the same exact thing as Free, an Experiment. Hoping to find some relief, Free takes the mission and is sent off on a massive adventure where she has to board an old spacecraft without anybody knowing. Once she is there, her job is to steal Rain and bring her back after she kills Rain’s brother, Caleb because he was the one who took Rain away from the Academy first. But a new type of trouble erupts in Free’s life.

    Emotions already invaded Free’s life at the Academy because of her peculiar dream, but now something completely different invaded her heart. She fell madly in love with Caleb and had no idea how in the world she was going to assassinate him. Over a certain amount of time she thinks and thinks about this until she comes in contact with Emmett who claims that if she fails, Seth will send her friend Whisper to kill not only her but Caleb, too before taking Rain back home.

    Upset and confused, Free tries to kill Caleb first before she takes Rain but once she has the gun pointing at his head…it’s impossible. She surrenders to the crew who then starts to question her over and over again about all sorts of things yet she is unable to give away the secrets of the Academy. Later, Caleb begs to know everything and he explains all the dangers he faces while trying to protect his sister. Gradually, Free starts to tell him a few secrets before she tells him all about her dreams unable to control herself. This is when Caleb explains to her that she is Araceli, he tells her what the Academy does and how it steals their “students” from their homes to change them into the Experiments. In addition, she learns that Emmett who claims to be her brother is not her brother; he is the person (the angel from the dream) who stole her from her home.

    Furious, Free tells him along with the crew everything before she tells them she wishes to tag along to help stop the Academy. The only problem is not only does she have to come face to face with the people she calls friend, but the worst part was when Emmett sides with Seth, the Guardian Angels along with the other Experiments. In the end, she defeats them with the help of Rain, Caleb and the rest of the crew. But once this is done she was unsure what to do with her life because the Academy was all she knew; or at least this lasted until Caleb asked her to stay with them. Free chooses to remain with him and to start a very new adventure…life.
     
  2. Scribe Rewan
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    Scribe Rewan Contributing Member

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    Is this a 'do you think it's a good idea and can it work?' type post? Coz if it is, then most peoples response will be this 'Anything can be a good idea, it all depends on your skill as a writer. So yes at the moment it might work, and it could be a good idea, depends on how good you are.' On the side I think it sound very interesting. A bit like Equilibrium on the whole 'not meant to feel' thing and how it changes a person. But yeah, the only advice I can really give is- write it!

    Hope this helps!
     
  3. Elyse Elwood
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    Elyse Elwood Member

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    lol thanks, I was sort of looking for that and who thinks it's interesting. And by the way, my favourite suggestion 'write'....by the way...my one inspiration, which is noticable later is Firefly (saw your little signature).
     
  4. Scribe Rewan
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    Scribe Rewan Contributing Member

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    Yeah Firefly is awesome. Can't believe they cancelled it (I only picked it up after seeing Serenity). But it's been a long time since a show that good was on TV, can't wait to see what Whedon's new one is like.
     
  5. Elyse Elwood
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    Elyse Elwood Member

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    I used to wonder if the show was gonna come back after the movie because I know a lot of people went to see it. But I was sad when it didn't..but hey, everytime the marathons come on Sci-Fi channel I'm either watching them or recording them...I'm trhilled about the new show but I kinda have to disagree with no good writing or anything like that beucase I thought Heroes was excellent esp. if you look at it from a literary aspect. For exapmle, simply the charactar development was incredible...but that's only my opinon. Other than that show I think everything sucks esp. Lost...it's pointless.
     
  6. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    careening off topic.

    Scribe Rewan was right. It sounds like you already know where you want to go with the plot, so asking for an opinion of it should wait until you have actually written it out.

    The idea of the Plot Creation forum is to ask for ideas on how to advance a plot that seems to be stalled, or how to build up a plot that you feel doesn't have depth. It really should not be used for, "Hey guys, this is my story idea, what do you think of it?"

    Basically that amounts to a review request of a condensed piece of writing, and therefore it should only be posted in the Review Room forums.
     
  7. Elyse Elwood
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    Elyse Elwood Member

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    Hey thanks for the tip, sorry about that...I'm still a novice to this whole idea. Ha...Well I'm still working out a few kinks but I have something little down on paper I might post...thanks again
     
  8. Elyse Elwood
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    Elyse Elwood Member

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    Alright so I posted the first part of this, it's not much but it's a start. But hey look at it this way, the less everybody has to read! Huzah!! It's called Experiment so if you're interested please take a peek...I'd love you for helping out!!
     

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