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  1. darklordbob
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    darklordbob Member

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    Build a relationship...

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by darklordbob, Jul 1, 2008.

    There are two character relationships that I am working on, and was wanting some advice. One is between the main character, James, and his "brother," Mark. Mark is actually a clone of sorts based partially on the DNA of James and the scientist who created him. Mark and James both consider their creator, John, to be their father. James hasn't had a true family, with the exception of his abusive mother, and so the chance to be with a father and brother really appeals to him, and the relationship is important to him. Later James is forced to kill John and is torn up inside because of it. Mark had grown to love James as a brother, but when James killed their father, whom Mark had know for many years before meeting James, he feels betrayed and sets out for revenge. James still loves Mark as a brother, but needs to stop him for the greater good. I need a way to make the relationship between these two as real as possible to make the reader understand how much fighting eachother hurts Mark and James.

    The other relationship is a romantic one. Mary is just a year or two younger than James, around high school age, and falls for him because he's a cute older boy and he's nice to her, something she isn't used to because she has spent a large portion of her life locked in an asylum. As time progresses, the relationship deepens to more than, he's cute I like him, to a more emotional one and they truly love eachother. However, after Mark dies, James has lost mother, father, and brother, and blames himself for all three and this practically destroys him. He hates himself and has lost any sort of family he had. Unable to stay with James through this hard time in his life, Mary leaves him, even though she still loves him. James now has nobody. James is later captured by a sort of police group and sent away for a year before being rescued, his capture partially Mary's fault. When he is rescued she apologizes and says she still loves him and asks his forgiveness. His reply is, "I'll always love you Mary, no matter what you do, but I'll never forgive you." Is this too corny, and with almost every recent book full of unnecessary relationships, should I think about getting rid of this romance?
     
  2. Kratos
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    Kratos Contributing Member

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    1st relationship: Do you have a brother? If you do, what if you had to fight your brother in a war or battle. How would you feel?

    2nd relationship: Is it necessary to the story? If it is, then you should leave it in. But I wonder why Mary would leave him and turn him in if she truly loved him...

    Hope these questions helped you.:cool:
     
  3. darklordbob
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    darklordbob Member

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    Well with the second relationship, she leaves him because he isn't the same way he used to be, and even though she loves him, she needs to move on. As for betraying him, she did it to keep from being sent to the prison he was sent to. Because of spending so much time in an asylum, the idea of going back, or even going to a similar place is more frightening to her than most people.

    I do have a brother, but there's a big age difference between us, so it's hard imagining the two of us in a situation like that.
     

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