1. DystopianApocolypse
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    DystopianApocolypse Member

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    Building romance and tension in trainer student relationship

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by DystopianApocolypse, Apr 18, 2016.

    Okay, so in the story I am working on I am trying to build romantic tension and passion between two characters. they start out as savior and damsel, but the savior takes the damsel and tells her she isn't going to protect her all the time, and that she has to learn to stand on her own and survive. With her home destroyed from other affairs, the damsel has no place to turn and nothing left in her life except for the savior, and agrees so long as she can obtain a personal goal of her own.
    This is pretty much where I am at in the story right now. The two have just encountered one another, the hero savior rescuing the damsel and defeating the dark knight. She is left unconscious for a little bit, and when she wakes up they will have a seen in which the previously stated dynamic will be put into place. I have not gotten into detail of what their journey entails yet, but I was wondering for tips to build dramatic tension between them. (Also, savior is a demon warrior queen, and the Damsel will be taught sword fighting by the savior. Any more info needed just ask.)
     
  2. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    This worries me. The damsel is entirely passive. She gets rescued, and she's entirely dependent on the savior, and she gets ordered around, and he orders her to be less passive, so her emergence from passivity is...passive.

    And, why is the savior doing all this? He needs a motivation as well. As it is, she appears to be agreeing to let him help her, in exchange for him...doing something for her? "I'll let you do me a favor, if you do me this other favor."

    I'm not trying to be snarky, and I apologize that I sound snarky, but do you see my problems here?
     

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