1. JessaNova

    JessaNova New Member

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    Crashing into a locked door?

    Discussion in 'Research' started by JessaNova, Sep 13, 2010.

    I'm trying to write this section for my book and am at a complete loss. :confused:

    It's told in 1st person:

    The person is walking up to a a house and tries to open the door... then makes an 'umph' or 'oomph' sound and crashes into it, realizing it's locked.

    Does that make sense?
     
  2. Taylee91

    Taylee91 Carpe Diem Contributor

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    Yes, definitely. He/she's walking at a fast pace. He/she thrusts a hand out, grasps the knob, then tries to push the door open. But since it's locked, he/she walks into the door with a "uh!" and gets a splintery forearm and possibly a scratched face. Then of course, he/she kicks the door. And the stupid thing still won't open.
     
  3. JessaNova

    JessaNova New Member

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    I'm not quite sure how to write that expressively you know?

    This is a little example:

    Since I've been to the house so many times, it wasn't really necessary to knock anymore. I walked up in full stride and turned the door. Oomph! It was locked! Since when?
     
  4. Taylee91

    Taylee91 Carpe Diem Contributor

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    Hmm....Let me think....How about this:

    Since I've been to the house so many times, it wasn't really necessary to knock anymore. I walked up in full stride and turned the door. A second later, my face planted into the splintery wood. A soft "Oomph!" escaped from my mouth. It was locked! Since when?
     
  5. JessaNova

    JessaNova New Member

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    Yes, that is exactly what I needed.
    I've been writing all day and suddenly came to this part and couldn't get the words out.
    Thank you so much.
     
  6. art

    art Contributor Contributor

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    I think what you have there, courtesy of tayleea, works very well. I like 'oomph' very much. Two, minor points:

    Is, I'd been to the house more fitting?
    Turn..the handle, maybe?
     
  7. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    one turns the doorknob, not the door!
     
  8. JessaNova

    JessaNova New Member

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    You can if you're the Hulk.
     
  9. Chudz

    Chudz New Member

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    Hulk: "Hulk not turn. Hulk SMASH!"


    Hey wait! That wasn't me. I didn't write that.

    *Ponders just how the heck the Hulk got his password. . . .*
     

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