1. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Can I tweak this plot point so it makes more sense?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Ryan Elder, Jun 24, 2015.

    In my story I have a cop who is kind of like Dirty Harry in the first movie, where the villain has legally gotten away with his crimes. The antihero cop character, follows him around on his own time, to see if he will get any leads, or get anything on him.

    Finally after days of not seeing anything, he gets frustrated and makes a threatening phone call to him, in order to flush him out, and get him to do something to incriminate himself, so to speak.

    However, it does not go as plan and the villain believes that another cop is after him, who also plays a role in the story, so the villain goes to take the other cop hostage, to find out what he knows, things get out of hand and the villain ends up shooting the other cop to death in a gunfight.

    Now I want the main character, the antihero cop type, to get in a lot of trouble for the other cop's death and looking at a harsh prison sentence. Harsh enough to not want to face the music and rather be a fugitive.

    Now I was told by others who read and discussed it, that that, who is also the main character, would not go to prison. He would just get fired or face disciplinary actions.

    But I need him to literally want to be fugitive and not be taken alive even, cause he not face jail time. I want it to be bad enough where he will not be taken alive.

    Is there somewhat I can tweak this, so he would be in that much trouble for another officer's death, in a way that's more realistically plausible to the reader?
     
  2. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    If all the main character, the cop, does is something that causes the other cop to be killed, he would not be charged with the death. He has to do something criminal to be involved with the other cop's death.

    You could have him get blamed for the actual shooting. It's a bit of a trope though so you'll need a strong story to overcome that.


    Is English not your first language? Just curious about some of your grammar errors.

    does not go as planned
    Harsh enough he'd rather be a fugitive than face the music
    But I need him to literally want to be a fugitive and not want to be taken alive even, cause he not face jail time.
    Is there some way I can tweak this

     
  3. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Okay thanks. Sorry I wrote it in a hurry cause I was at work. I will watch my grammar better.

    But isn't he doing something criminal already though? He is following the guy around when he is off to duty, and it's not his assignment, so that's tantamount to stalking, along with the threatening phone call.

    So wouldn't he have committed a crime there?
     
  4. GingerCoffee
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    Not a prosecutable crime in that context.
     
  5. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Okay thanks. Is their anything I can do to rewrite it so that it works? What if for example, the villain calls his henchmen to go deal with the second cop, he thinks is after him. Let's call him Cop B. Cop A, the main cop, figures out they are going after Cop B while following them. In the shoot out, cop B, manages to kill one of the henchman and takes his clothes, gloves and his mask to disguise himself as one of them, hoping they will not recognize that it's him, so he can get away.

    Cop A goes to rescue Cop B, but sees Cop B in one of the henchmen's clothes and mask, and shoots him to death, cause he has a gun, thinking that's one of the armed henchmen. So Cop B's body is found with Cop A's bullets in from his police issue pistol, and Cop A tries to explain that it was an accident. Is this good enough, or will just legally be written off as unfortunate accident, even though it was his stalking that lead to him accidentally shooting Cop B?

    Is there anything better I can do? Mainly Cop A, needs to be blamed for Cop B's death, to the point where he is facing enough jail time that he will not be taken alive. Perhaps there are other ways I can write it?
     
  6. sidtvicious
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    sidtvicious Contributing Member Contributor

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    So you need Cop A to be blamed for murder because..... Is your main goal to get him inside prison for another plot arc? Do you just want to fully hammer home the anti-hero element.

    Socially, I see a lot of fall out (within your department) if you've shot another cop. If you really want to go the Cop A going to prison, I'd try something a little more intricate. Is there a reason for him to be framed? How corrupt is your police department? Does he actually need to pull the trigger, or can you write the plot in such a way where he's manipulated into making incriminating mistakes?

    Also, I'd do a quick google search for Felony Murder. There are plenty of legal loops that can send someone to prison for a crime they "didn't" commit.
     
  7. Aaron DC
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    Aaron DC Contributing Member

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    If you made your main character a war hero marine type instead of a cop, it would be easier to construct the premise, and you'd have an outline similar to Rambo.
     
  8. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Okay thanks. I already know about felony murder, and that's kind of what I was going for. Basically the goal is to get him blamed is because I want him to go after the villains, while at the same time trying to evade the arrest of the police. Of course the more harsh the prison term he is looking at, the more stronger he will evade and the more he will let the ends justify the means.

    Instead of stalking I might be able to tweak it. How about if Cop A broke into the villain's safe, and the villain and his men are alerted to the break in. They come and think it's Cop B who is breaking in, who is also there, and kill him.

    Does this work better for felony murder? Is breaking into safe more prosecutable compared to stalking and would work better?
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2015

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