1. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Question [Solved] Can you contact someone who is ignoring you?

    Discussion in 'Support & Feedback' started by Oscar Leigh, Feb 21, 2016.

    So I was wondering since I can't find any answers on this, is there any way for me to contact a user who activated the ignore function in order to ask them no to? I really feel like it's a hostile action, especially considering their last post to me. I don't want bad blood, I'd prefer if we can step back after disagreeing and move on. And then next time we see each other's posts we can go in and be respectful anyway. That's what I try to do, just give people a chance. And I want to talk to this person, I find them interesting. So is there a way?
     
  2. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Send someone else a PM and ask them to mediate maybe?
     
  3. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    I want you to seriously consider what you are asking. Should there be a way to harass people who have put you on ignore*?

    No. No there should not be.

    *Not saying that you would harass them, but the system would be abused.
     
  4. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    I'm not sure I heard "harass" in that post. But having a mediator would still be a reasonable action.
     
  5. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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  6. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    I just really don't want him to shut me out. Maybe it would be better for people to just ignore you themselves and allow therefore more freedom to discuss? The forum rules do stress freedom of speech. Part of that is handling what people say without stopping them unless they actually break the law with threats, harassment or vilification(though vilification is less commonly illegal.)
     
  7. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    Yeah, none of this is going to end well.
     
  8. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Is that supposed to be an insult? Really? Why is it some people on this forum transition so quickly into making patronizing-sounding suggestions that I am too aggressive or whatever and don't give me a chance to explain or change anything. Whatever happened to tolerance and respect in arguments? Open-mindedness towards the opponents position?
     
  9. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Can we just not go into personal attacks even remotely? I'm here to ask a question, and only a question. This is not a debate thread, and I don't want it to turn into any kind of argument, especially not a personal one.
     
  10. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    I'm not one of those people that runs around shouting "freedom of speech!" at anyone who doesn't like what I say, so you know. I just think you should be able to handle a rational, respectful criticism, without pulling out because apparently: I think I know everything, which I really don't.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2016
  11. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    Oscar, the problem is, what you're proposing isn't viable. In an online environment like this, there needs to be a mechanism in place for people to insulate themselves from others they don't want to interact with. Free speech is one thing (doesn't really apply on a private site, but let's set that aside), but you don't have the right to have any given individual listen to you. Nor do I.

    There are some ways you could attempt to contact the person through another user, but frankly if the user has you on ignore I think that should be respected. If you try to contact them in spite of the fact that they're using forum mechanisms to prevent you from doing so, I suspect the moderators here would take issue with it.

    Not everyone wants to hear from you, or me, or anyone else. Just roll with it - there are plenty of other users on the site.
     
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  12. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't know you and have barely seen any of your posts, so I can't pretend to know why someone may have blocked you. But I think the most important thing to remember is that some people just clash. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. You just have different personalities and they don't work well together.

    @123456789 and I didn't used to get along at all. I actually got in trouble for cussing him out once. I was highly emotional (still am) and didn't know how to communicate properly without letting my feelings get the better of me (which I'm still guilty of from time to time). Now? We get along great. I actually respect him the most on this forum and attribute much of my success this past year to his suggestions and feedback. But what made me get to this point wasn't talking it out. It was distance and growth.

    So I'd suggest just letting it ride. Perhaps the person who blocked you will eventually unblock you and you can start over. But forcing the interaction before this person is ready isn't going to make things any better. Don't take it personally. It's not a slam against your character. There's probably someone who loves the quality in you that made this person block you. This quality just doesn't mesh well with this person, and that's okay. Not everyone is meant to get along.
     
  13. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Here is the official word so that we can put the conversation to rest.

    There is no technical way for Person A to directly contact Person B if Person B has put Person A on ignore. Though clearly the idea of using a third party to mediate is perfectly viable in a technical sense, it is not a venture I would suggest. It is easily construable as harassment. As mentioned already by other members, ours is a well trafficked forum* with a plethora of individuals with whom one can interact. Not all interactions will end favorably. I know this from personal experience. And just as an argument can be made that learning to interact means learning to engage that which one doesn't care for, so too an argument can be made that learning to interact means learning to deal with the idea that not everyone is going want to interact with our respective selves. Such is the human condition.

    *When looking for how well-trafficked a forum is, the thing to look for is the # of unique members who visit a forum in the last #24 hours, assuming the forum choses to display this number. The number of members that show as being "on-line" and "present" at any given moment in a forum is easily manipulated through a number of means, none of which we employ in our forum. We don't ever present a "cardboard crowd".
     
  14. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Okay guys.
     
  15. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    I'd let it slide for a while until the issue cools.

    That's why I stay far, far away from the debate room - only go to the lounge occasionally, and rarely visit the Not Happy thread. And when I can see a question is too hot to handle - about to descend into politics or scientific or social debates I read a bit but refrain from biting.

    I'm about as subtle as throwing a hand grenade into a toilet - does anyone really need any more shit to fly? - no.

    I've been there ( put on ignore before ) it at first feels insulting but I shrugged it off. And learned from it.
     
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  16. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    You??? Somebody ignored Peach? :eek: But but but ...sputter sputter ...you are always so reasonable and kind to people ...yeegs ...aargh, etc.
     
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  17. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    I agree. I find this astounding and an affront to society in general. Everyone likes @peachalulu! :D
     
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  18. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    I think it was when I first joined.
    I wasn't the best at critiquing ( rewriting passages - without saying this is only an example and keeping the said examples to a minimum.) A technique bound to piss someone off. I learned my lesson though. Keep things simple don't disturb anyone's voice. But I'm only guessing at the reason. Other than that I don't know. One minute the person was very friendly to me, the next I was put on ignore. Which was strange because they were still talking to me.
     
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  19. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, when you ignore someone, there are ample notifications that the page contains ignored material. Maybe they felt hurt by your review comments but viewed your ignored posts in other contexts? Edited to add: It's not unusual for me to ignore someone that I just want to stop interacting with in a given thread, and then un-ignore them when that thread dies away. Because I don't have the strength of will to stop responding on the thread.

    (If this site had a different interface, I'd suggest that they ignored you by accident--another site where I hang out has the Ignore button right next to, I think, the Reply button. I'm constantly accidentally ignoring people there, and then having trouble finding them to un-ignore, because I didn't always catch their name when doing the reply, and of course everything they do is then hidden!)
     
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  20. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    It was a couple of years ago so I don't really remember.

    I don't think the person has come back to the site they just sort of disappeared or maybe they were banned. It was right around the time where a lot bannings were going on.
     

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