1. cazann34
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    cazann34 Active Member

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    Can you help me with this sentence

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by cazann34, Dec 29, 2012.

    There’s plenty of space for both cars, he decided, he need only slow down enough for both cars to squeeze by one another and won‘t have to stop." Can anyone help me out. Is this sentence grammatically wrong?
     
  2. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    yes, it has grammar probs along with being overcrammed with info that would best be dealt with in more than one sentence...

    grammatically, 'won't' has to be 'not' to make sense... here's one way it would read better:

     
  3. domenic.p
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    domenic.p Banned

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    moved
     
  4. Jon M
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    Jon M Member

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    'Slow' doesn't mean flabby or even that the story will be rejected.
     
  5. domenic.p
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    domenic.p Banned

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  6. Jon M
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    Jon M Member

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    Both. Simultaneously. While driving. In reverse.

    Does it matter? The generalization is clearly untrue.
     
  7. HuggsX3
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    HuggsX3 New Member

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    Nobody likes unnecessary wording. If it is not necessary, if it is distracting, and if it has no point, it should not be there.
     
  8. HuggsX3
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    HuggsX3 New Member

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    You basically smashed two or three sentences together, so it's a run on. It just needs to be broken down. Once you break it down it'll be easy to fix the grammatical errors. How about this...

    There is plenty of space for both cars, he decided. He needs only to slow down enough for both cars to squeeze by one another; he won't have to stop.

    I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for or not. Just a suggestion. :p
     
  9. jesseabigail
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    jesseabigail Member

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    Whoa. Really?

    He decided there's plenty of space for both cars. All that he needed to do was slow down just enough, allowing both cars to squeeze past each other.

    There's 100000 ways I could rewrite this.
     
  10. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    'needed' needs 'to' after it... 'need' doesn't... also, 'needed' is past tense and the sentence is in present...

    plus, 'squeeze' is not spelled with an 's' even in british usage...
     
  11. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    The original poster wasn't asking for rewrites. He was asking whether or not the sentence was grammatically correct as he had written it.

    Please bear in mind that we have a wide range of members on this forum, and many of them have very little experience. A lot of our members are young teenagers, and many others do not speak English as a first language. Writing well, or even grammatically correctly, isn't necessarily as easy for them as it is for you or for some of the rest of us. It's not helpful to act shocked and superior ("Whoa. Really?") when someone asks an honest question. It's much better to just offer them advice where you can, keeping your opinions of their intelligence or level of education to yourself.
     

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