1. Olemissrebl
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    Olemissrebl New Member

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    Can you say "sweep you up into my arms" or does that sound funny

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Olemissrebl, Dec 7, 2013.

    Can you say "sweep you up into my arms" or does that sound funny? Alternatives appreciated if it sounds odd. Thank you!
     
  2. Tharian
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    Tharian Contributing Member

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    I will sweep you up in my arms—sounds odd.

    He swept her up in his arms—sounds okay.

    The sentence makes me think of an adult briskly picking up a child.
     
  3. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    It has become somewhat of a cliche. There are many ways to describe an ardent, joyful embrace. Visualize it, feel it, and write from your heart.
     
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  4. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    I usually only use that sort of phrase if I'm picking up a cat. Or a small puppy. Possibly an infant. But to me, that sort of language in reference to another adult in a romantic context just makes me cringe and shudder. It's very flowery and I'd expect to find it in a dime-store romance novel.

    It depends on how and why you want to use the phrase.
     
  5. Olemissrebl
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    Olemissrebl New Member

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    Thanks for the input guys. I'm getting it sounds a bit strange. Any alternatives?
     
  6. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    there are countless alternatives... i'm sure you can think of a few, if you put your mind to it...
     
  7. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    "Scoop you up"
    "Carry you off."
    "Can't wait until I can give you a good bear hug."
    etc.

    The issue with 'sweep you up...' is not only that it's a cliche, IMO, but that it's too formal. What's the context?
     
  8. DrWhozit
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    DrWhozit Banned

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    "Ah... my darling, Renate." He drew her close, noticing the dilation of her jade green irises. "When that moment arises," he paused, breathing heavier, "I shall sweep you up into my arms..."

    "...and never let me go." She began to touch his face as though she couldn't believe this was not a dream.
     
  9. Simpson17866
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    Simpson17866 Contributing Member Contributor

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    As long as it is a character saying it, it can be used as a way of showing that that particular character happens to use cliches more than the other characters do.
     
  10. DrWhozit
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    DrWhozit Banned

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    This is sounding like a great, sweep-you-up-into-my arms race! Is this a story about North Korea?
     
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  11. Leigh Silvester
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    Leigh Silvester Member

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    The only reason "sweep you up in my arms" or "I will sweep you up in my arms" (later is more articulate) seems awkward is that it is in the future tense.
    Most writing is narrated in the past tense and the sweeping action would be reported as, 'he swept her up in his arms'. However this is coming across as a snippet of dialogue so future tense is fine.

    To sweep or not to sweep is down to the character of the sweeper.
    If this is set in the early 20th century or earlier then it would be appropriate.
    If the sweeper is having a burst of exuberant romantic eloquence, then it would also be fine.
     
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  12. DrWhozit
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    DrWhozit Banned

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    Maybe "Darlin', Ahm gonna toss y'all over mah shouldah 'n' carry y'all off behind that ol' oak tree up yonder"
     
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  13. Leigh Silvester
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    Leigh Silvester Member

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    If the sweeper is having a burst of inarticulate vernacular lust. :)
     
  14. DrWhozit
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    DrWhozit Banned

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    I was imagining Slim Pickens sometime before getting captured by the Japanese in 1941... (they cut that scene) :)
     

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