1. randirockstar
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    randirockstar New Member

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    Can you tell me what you think of my idea for my book..?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by randirockstar, Aug 8, 2009.

    Right now im trying to write a book just for me and for fun
    i have this idea with Angels and Demons...
    i wrote a few notes down last night can you guys pleae tell me what you think?


    The angels and demons hate each other

    They try to make lilly one of them becuase she is a special kind of angel who has powers that can Heal and Kill and they wanna use her to destroy the world.

    She falls in love with a Demon name Seth who is useing her just for her powers but lilly does not know that.

    At the end she becomes a demon and has to destroy everything so they can make more demons and take over the earth

    Lilly's family has to save her before its to late so they ask the most powerful group of angels for there help to save there sister

    Lilly is saved on time and has done no damage to the earth and now the demons are very angry and tries to kill her

    The demons killed Lilly but the most powerful angel ever named Simon gave her life

    Simon and Lilly fall in love
     
  2. Anders Backlund
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    Anders Backlund Contributing Member

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    ...Then why do you even care what we think about it? :confused:

    Why?

    Why?

    Why?

    Why not?

    Why would she want to do that?

    Why?

    Why do they need to ask the angels for help if the angels already have good reasons to want to stop the demons?

    Why?

    (Make sure you answer all of these and any other whys you find along the way.)

    I'd get rid of SImon, personally. He sounds dangerously Deus Ex Machina. In fact, the whole "getting help from the angels" thing sound like a major bailout. If this girl of yours is so powerful, let her solve her own problems.

    And what the heck happened to Seth? That guy sounded more interesting then Simon anyway.

    Other then that: Yeah, it sounds okay. Go for it,
     
  3. Ice
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    Ice Member

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    The writing matters more than the concept. That said, I honestly don't care much for it but that's probably because I (a) don't read romance and (b) am reminded too much of the abominable Twilight series.

    Listen to the guy above me.
     
  4. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no point to asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read this thread about What is Plot Creation and Development?

    (and yes, this is a template post, which should give you an idea of how often this comes up.)

    Go ahead and write your story, if you feel it has potential. Don't ask for or listen to what other people think of the story idea. It really comes down to the quality of the writing.
     
  5. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    Reread Cog's words carefully, then write the story YOU would want to read. The rest will fall into place.
     
  6. The-Joker
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    The-Joker Contributing Member Contributor

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    Twilight actually is a good example. It has one of the most simplistic plot concepts conceivable but Meyer managed to imbue it with so much emotion and mawkish characterization that it made millions of people want to read it and then salivate as they waited for the next book in the series.

    I personally thought the whole thing was a piece of soppy nothing inflated to tediously stultifying proportions, but I don't have the brain of a fifteen year old girl. The point is the drama is in the details.

    I'll be honest with you your idea sounds as simplistic as twilight, but if you cobble together those rough strands of a plot with enough passion,emotion and suspense it may be just as popular.

    Brilliance lies not in the concept but in the execution.
     
  7. amateur
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    amateur Member

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    someone else said get rid of simon and the family
    A. i agree with getting rid of simon maybe if she becomes good she can drag Seth with her
    B. i like the idea of lily turinimng evil and the family could be used to create havoc she could drag them along telling them she'll be good and push them down - killing Angels (it may be possible) could make the evil everlasting
    C. if the book is for you then you should go by your plot make it how you want and if other people hate it who cares
     
  8. amateur
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    amateur Member

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    I desagree with the statement the abominable Twilight series. It has got many of the younger generation reading and if it wasn't for books like Twilight and Harry potter and many more teenage based books, the next generation would not want to pick up a book

    this plot does not remind me of twilight it reminds me of a book i read that wasn't even about Mythical creatures called Looking for love by Rosie Harris the main character in looking for love is caught in the conflicts of her family trying to find love as her mother had never shown her love- the main charecter of this plot is trying to find love which had made her get caught up in conflict
    many may say this plot is very like Twilight but a book about a young girl living in a deprived area of liverpool in 1926 also has simarlarities so never give up just because your plot reminds people of anouther book
     
  9. Edward
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    Edward Active Member

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    Telling you what we think won't do anything for you. It doesn't matter what we think, it matters how we can make you think.
    Personally, I think that this sounds very very bad, but if it's just for you and never seen by anyone else, then you can get away with bad writing (I plan on rewriting Eragon one of these days, myself. Hugging the Hero's Journey for Star Wars with Dragons could have been done much better by someone other than Paolini).
    That's a given, though I do prefer relationships that are more than the stereotypical war of heaven.
    Now, the big question here is why she has these powers. Are they powers no one else has? Is killing really a power? How does having the power to give and take away life effect her personality? Does she have a God complex (perhaps helped by being divine), or is she afraid of what she can do? Does she have to kill someone whenever she heals someone?
    Why does she fall in love with him? Does she even know he's a demon? I can see the Twilight comparisons, and it is a bit tropish, but that's not necessarily bad. From what I can tell here, which isn't much, it seems a bit of a forced romance on her part. Is Seth a con artist? What's his endgame? How exactly does he trick her into using her powers for him? If she's a good guy, she generally wouldn't be using the power to kill people, though I could see him getting her to heal people who probably would be better off bleeding out.
    Okay, here's a big one. How does she become a demon and why? Is it a conscious choice of "Seth is the only one who loves me, so I'll be evil to be with him", or is it something from being around him so long?
    Family in a metaphorical sense in that all angels are related, or can they actually procreate? That's something you'd have to decide within your setting. Personally, I'm against it, but then again any time I use angels they're generally reality's lymphocytes.
    Why are they angry? I mean, did they know about Seth's plan? Why would she have done damage to the Earth? Did she know she was doing damage to the earth?
    Si-who...? Where did he come into this? What reason does he have for saving her? If he can just bring people to life like that, why do they need Lilly in the first place? Also, why "Simon" and not Gabriel or Michael or something? It's not something that matters much, but why are you using names that are for regular people (if with gradeschool symbolism) instead of more traditional names? Generally angel names are in Hebrew, and end in -el. Demon names too, since most of them are angels. There are also demon names that are like Asmodeus or Be'elzubub, but those are taken from other religions that were rival to the Abrahamic ones.
    That seems kind of sudden. Why? Is Lilly just the kind of girl who falls for anyone? Other than bringing her back to life, why would she love him? Did he get her to go back to being good?

    All in all, I have to say that I really don't like it and it seems like a very cliched teen novel. That said, what you write is your choice and I won't stop you
    It may sound a little harsh, but I think that you really need to work a bit harder on this to keep it from being like Twilight and a host of other bad teen novels.

    What are your angels like? Your demons? Why do the demons want to destroy the world? How do Jehova and Lucifer factor into this? If you're going to use something like angels and demons, you're really going to have to do a bit of research, otherwise you come away with nothing more than a bunch of teenagers in Hot Topic apparel and sparkly vampires. Plus, if you hit up a few websites and browse Wikipedia, you might even get more ideas for your story. Angels are freaky, man. They're full of inspiration that's just ripe for the picking. That fruit of knowledge tastes pretty sweet.

    All in all, just think about what you're doing some more. It isn't exactly the worst thing, but it's far from being the best. I won't say to emulate things, but 99.99% of all creativity is what you take in, so watch movies, read books. Just not anything by Stephenie Meyer. If you want the whole Romeo and Juliet thing, then watch a few of those. You can probably even get movies of Romeo and Juliet from the library. Though you should get the Bahz Luhrman one. Romeo+Juliet with Leo DeCap and Clare Danes. Best movie ever.


    Is that part part of the template too? Does that make it meta?
     
  10. Gigi_GNR
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    Gigi_GNR Guys, come on. WAFFLE-O. Contributor

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    I agree with Cog and Rum, write the book you want and don't write it because someone tells you to.
     
  11. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    I just want to note my opposition to this stance. Harry Potter may have led kids to bigger and better things, but most of the people I know who "started reading" because of Twilight, either haven't read anything since (bar the later installments in the money-spinning series), or only read what might be termed Twilight-clones.
     
  12. amateur
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    amateur Member

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    however at my school i know many people who have read it and have gone on to read Jane Eyre and other great works of litarature because Twilight intorduced them to the love of reading
     
  13. tauruslambda
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    tauruslambda New Member

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    Anything that gets people reading is a good thing. I think someone who has invested the time to complete Potter or Twilight is much more likely to continue reading than someone who hasn't. I know I got started reading (ages ago) on a series of silly young adult novels, but it's lead to a life long love affair with the written word.
     
  14. amateur
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    amateur Member

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    thank you for taking the right view on the situation
     
  15. bluebell80
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    bluebell80 Contributing Member

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    I bet a lot of girls, after reading Twilight, went out and read Wuthering heights, just because Bella was reading it in the book.

    I can't say Twilight was ten shades of awful, since there was plenty about it I didn't like, but there are books that are way worse.

    I like vampire stories, but the touchy-feely-lovey vampires are just not my thing. I like the classics, and even Anne Rice's (as emo as Lestat and them are) because the writing was good and the general portrayal of vampires as monsters was intact.

    Vampires and Werewolves are a fad right now. They're cool in the teenage generation's mind. But then my generation had "I was a Teenage Werewolf" type stories and what-not back in the 80s and 90s. Witchcraft stories weren't born with Harry Potter, my generation had plenty of stories about witches, Witches of Eastwick, Teen Witch, The Craft, and my favorite book/movie Practical Magic.

    Everything has it's day, and things always come back around. Teens and young 20 somethings will read what they want to read, but in general they are a generation of emotional drama, so stories that hit on that will be much more popular. I mean, look at Lynsay Sands 'The immortal hunter' it is a new york times bestseller, and I couldn't get past the first few pages it's so bad.

    There are plenty of other disappointing books out there. So, I don't think Twilight is the worst one around. The simple writing makes it easy to read and digest, there are some funny parts, and the characters are believable for this upcoming generation of kids, (obsessive and emotionally dramatic.)

    To the OP, I agree that you can't just post up a plot idea and ask if it will be good enough to pursue. Either you make it into something people will want to read, or it will be a dud. The more you like writing about the subject matter, the more you will imbue it with emotional credibility to draw the reader in to the characters world. So write it. If you stop part way through and decide it is crap, then the plot line probably wasn't strong enough or your passion for the subject matter was there. You'll never know until you start writing it.
     
  16. The-Joker
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    The-Joker Contributing Member Contributor

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    As many people have said, the idea doesn't matter, its how you translate that idea into about a hundred thousand words that does.

    But if it is a really cool idea, like something with an earth-shattering measure of potential, then you'd have to be a fool to post it online. Yes believe it or not. There are some works of fiction that are successful more for their premise than the execution. It's more apparent in movies. Say The Dark Knight for example, that was all execution. But then a movie like sixth sense was good because of the idea behind it. Imagine if M. Night Shyamalan posted his idea for opinions before he started writing the script, some other guy might have stolen the concept and written it first, and then we would probably have never got Signs or The Village or the Happening. Okay I don't really like any of his other movies but you get the point. The only ideas that will make people say: "whoah How did you think of something so incredible!" are the ones that nobody should ever get to hear.

    Bottom line, your idea is always going to be too bland or too brilliant to post online, so the point is there is no point in doing it.
     
  17. Kas
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    Kas Contributing Member

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    The Sixth Sense: "I see dead people."

    This idea has been around forever. There have been endless stories about people who see or communicate with the dead, apparently since the beginning of storytelling. How is this in any way a stellar idea? It's a familiar idea recycled by a skillful author, just like 99% of the rest of published material.
     
  18. The-Joker
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    The-Joker Contributing Member Contributor

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    I wasn't talking about seeing dead people, I was talking about the ending. That's the only reason I liked it. Isn't that why everybody else liked it as well. The rest was a bit depressing...

    You have to admit the twist was genius.
     

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