So I want to write a story about a man who finds himself trapped in his subconscious (Too bad we can't edit titles . I realize the error now) with a girl whom he barely recognizes. This man is a car salesman who lost his son in Iraq, and he blames himself because the reason why his son enlisted is because he always thought his dad was too "posh" or "feminine," and he had something to prove. Why is the girl in his mind? She's talking him through his feelings. Eventually, I want to reveal some things about the girl, and how he knows who she is. At one point in the story, he realizes that he visited her house on a sales call 'cause he was trying to sell this clunker that had been sitting on the lot for ages. This house is lower middle-class at best, and he noticed that she's getting ready for a date wearing $600 heels. He turns the tables on her eventually. Does that sound...I dunno....god awful? EDIT: I just read the FAQ, so don't flog me just yet. What I'm asking really is whether or not the whole "son dies Iraq" thing way too cliche?