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  1. khangminh94
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    khangminh94 New Member

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    check for me, please

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by khangminh94, Jun 4, 2008.

    The writing topic is:

    Some people would like to say that: "Growing up in a big city is better for children than in the countryside"

    What are your opinions for this ?


    Nowadays, with socioeconomic development, people want to have a good life . Many adult people think living in the city is better than in the countryside for their life, especially their children. They rely on education, facilities,entertainment,…In point of fact, many children think they like to live in the countryside. With me, I think living in the countryside is better than in the city.

    To begin with, a city gives to children more kinds of education to achieve a good result. A good system from the primary level to the university level will control the children well to support their study .In the city, there are more instruments for teaching to help children imagine what they are talking about. Further, children who have a good education will be a good citizen to build up our country. For example: if students are taught well, the will understand the important reason of education and build up the Communist Party.Because children today will make the world tomorrow. Uncle Ho also told us to teach our children well.Beside, city children also have a lot of facilities. They can access to get some news knowledge. Rural children can not do that, so it is a obstacle for them. However, city children have a closed life. Every day, from house to schools and from schools to house They need to rest. This busy life makes them become tired. Therefore, they need to rest. Secondly, the environment is vey bad. The smoke of vehicles is eliminated everyday. The air is polluted seriously.
    In addition, countryside is a good place to share chirldren’s emotion. Children can told their parents what they think. They can spend their time on their family. It is so happy. Of course, children can see the “ true things”, not sample things. Children will have living skill.These things help them to prepare to make their ways in the world. Furthermore, life in countryside also has some memmories.For example: every day,when the morning is just dawning, your friends and you walk along a street and enjoy views. How wonderful the memory is! Last but not least, The environment is clean because there are not many vehicles. It is good for children's health.

    In coclusion, I also think living in the countryside is better than in the city. Because I am a children-a student , so I know what children are thinking. We had better live in the countryside. I want to have a happy life, not a busy life


    Introduction
    - Effective introduction -----------------------
    Body
    - Well structured -----------------------------
    - Logically Progressing -----------------------
    Conclusion
    - Achives good closure -----------------------
    Written Expression
    - Well constructed paragraphs ----------------
    - Fluent expression ---------------------------
    - Interesting examples ------------------------
    - Punctuation and spelling correct -------------
    - Grammar and syntax correct -----------------
    Presentation
    - Reasonable length ---------------------------

    Mark: __/50

    thanks so much
     
  2. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    All work for review MUST be posted in the Review Room forums, after completing the requisite two or more reviews of other members' work. I am closing this thread.
     
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