1. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    Comically bad Analogies

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Andrae Smith, Apr 29, 2014.

    My friend sent me this link, a few minutes ago, to a list of hilariously bad analogies that readers came up with for a context. It is just comical what these people could come up with.

    http://socraticmama.com/2011/12/06/42-really-bad-analogies-similes-and-metaphors/secular-parenting

    EX.
    "He was the size and shape of a man much larger than him."
    "The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon."
    "The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."
     
  2. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    I've seen these before, and they are absolutely hilarious. But I wouldn't call them bad, actually. Many of them are very creative and funny. In the right context, in a humorous piece, they would work a treat. My personal favourite: He was as tall as a 6-foot, 3-inch tree.

    I'm pretty fond of the bowling ball one, as well... The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

    Or: John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    Oh, just read these! They're great. Well selected, and the 'winner' is certainly worthy.
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2014
  3. Mackers
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    Mackers Contributing Member

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    Where's @ChickenFreak when you need her?

    :D
     
  4. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
     
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  5. jazzabel
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    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

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    I cried with laughter half way through this
     
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  6. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    @jannert, I totally agree with you. I just use "bad" to hype it up a bit. I was too lazy to accurately label them. Some of these are actually really brilliant given the right context and speaker ha ha.
     
  7. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    They really are funny. Every one.

    Here's the ultimate for people who tend to go off on tangents... I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.
     
  8. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    That is like my favorite one! It is quickly followed by...
    Not a description I readily recommend to guys with pretty partners. ;)
     
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  9. EdFromNY
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    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

    I think this is the topper for me. I can just hear it in the narration of some kind of film noir send-up.
     
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  10. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    These are from actual papers written by students:

    "From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30."

    "He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree."

    "He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River."

    "The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George, this plan just might work."

    For the full list, go here.
     
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  11. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Y'all are just being mean to the analogically challenged. :( :D
     
  12. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    from the examples given here, i'd prefer many of those over whatever you might find on a list of 'good' ones!

    but then, i've a pretty quirky sense of humor and generally choose the offbeat over the mundane...

    thanks for the good laugh, guys 'n gals!... a great start to a sunny day...
     
  13. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    I love this, too. Although, I have to say that I think metaphors and analogies are over-valued. I think that the Iowa Writers Workshop must have an entire class where they have the students do nothing but think up metaphors and then teach them to cram as many as they possibly can into their novels. I read one recently where the metaphors were so nonsensical they actually distracted from the story, and I'm not the only one who noticed, per the amazon reviews.
     
  14. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Sick as a dog. So it's a cliche; did it ever make sense?
    Cold as hell, hotter than hell. Can you please make up your mind?
     
  15. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    It's funny how many different answers there are to that question. People just repeat what they heard from someone else. This answer had a tad more potential to be correct than most given one of my dogs throws up much too often:

    http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_origin_of_the_saying_sick_as_a_dog

     
  16. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    There. is something wrong. with that... But if it's in the canine nature, who am I to judge? :rolleyes: Thank for the info, I was wondering where the idiom came from. Does it happen to say who, if anyone, coined such phrase?
     
  17. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    In the 1500s? I doubt you'll find a name connected to it. I think what historians and etymologists go by to determine the age of some of these idioms is find the oldest written reference it can be found in.

    It always cracks me up to read these authoritative sources. :rolleyes: There are multiple references to the idiom being recorded in 1705. You'd think with that level of specificity, one of the Net echoes would note where it was recorded. No such luck, they just copy and copy taking for granted the date is correct.

    I imagine if one made up a blog entry that said it was in a 1705 London paper, within a year you'd see that cited as a fact. :p
     
  18. Bjørnar Munkerud
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    Bjørnar Munkerud Contributing Member

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    "My own private pinewood Taj Mahal, except for the shape and the size.", The Cabin by Ylvis

    I also highly recommend checking out this link: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Metaphorgotten

    The page quote from the above: "A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended. Because if you just keep going, then eventually your body runs out of shit and moves on to pushing all of your internal organs out of your sphincter, until only a foul-smelling shell remains, and anyone who wants to get in on your incredibly long poo gets turned off, because they need to have gone through all of the poo up to that point to have the necessary context and this is where the analogy is breaking down somewhat."
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2014
  19. T.Trian
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    T.Trian Overly Pompous Bastard Staff Supporter Contributor

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    It might reveal my rather pedestrian sense of humor, but I especially liked these (in addition to some of those already posted above, esp. the one about the lamp):

    After sending in my entries for the Style Invitational, I feel relieved and apprehensive, like a little boy who has just wet his bed.

    The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

    She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
     

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