?

How do you feel about receiving compliments?

Poll closed Jun 22, 2009.
  1. I am a female and prefer complients from other females.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. I am a female and prefer complients from males.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. I am a female and like compliments from anybody.

    12 vote(s)
    41.4%
  4. I am a female but generally dislike compliments.

    3 vote(s)
    10.3%
  5. I am a male and prefer compliments from other males.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. I am a male and prefer compliments from femles.

    2 vote(s)
    6.9%
  7. I am a male and like compliments from anybody.

    11 vote(s)
    37.9%
  8. I am a male but generally dislike compliments.

    1 vote(s)
    3.4%
  1. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    Complimenting?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by zorell, Jun 17, 2009.

    I just thought it'd be interesting to know other insights on this. I'm a generaly nervous person who likes to hear positive feedback, but has a hard time with outright compliments, and that's from anybody. Then there are people who freak out if they get compliments from a person of the same gender.

    I was just wondering what people thought about receiving compliments.
     
  2. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    The PC 90's were such a bother. Every compliment you might pay someone, regardless of gender, suddenly became ridiculously suspect. I for one love to both give and get compliments. I think of it as one of my tasks in life to keep the concept of compliments alive, kinda' like the Arab culture kept the sciences alive during the Middle Ages.
     
  3. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    I voted I am male and like compliments from anybody.
    I generally like compliments because all my life I was bullied and terrible things were said about me.
    So any nice compliment from anybody is cool.
    Except creepy people.
    But there is no option in the voting that says: I am male and like compliments from anybody except creepy people such a train psychos.
     
  4. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    I should have added the option: It doesn't matterwhat am, no complimets from train pshycos!
     
  5. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    Yeah that works.
    This guy was talking to himself, no blue tooth headset, he looked homeless.
    And then he suddenly looks and tells me he likes my shirt cause red is his favorite color.
    And then he turns to some invisible fellow and ask, you like his shirt?
    True story.
    From then on Leaka doesn't wear red on trains.
     
  6. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    I had a twenty minute conversation with this man on the bus about how I was fifteen and didn't want any twenty-something friends- trust me, I know what you mean;)
     
  7. Xeno
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    Xeno Mad and Bitey Contributor

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    Meh, I tend to love compliments from anyone, but I tend to react a lot more to compliments from the female genre, seeing as they're kind of who I try to impress, if you catch my drift? :D
     
  8. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    Psyco train people are strange.
    The man who complimented my red shirt, he's always ride the trains.
    And he even told me he didn't like my shirt because blue means sad.

    I try to not go on the third train cart any more.
     
  9. Gone Wishing
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    Gone Wishing Contributing Member

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    Hmmm... I had to train myself to receive any kind of comlpiment with a semblance of grace, as often my first instinct is to disagree, which I ultimately thought was dismissive, ungrateful and therefore just a tad rude because it doesn't let the other person know how much I actually appreciated it (plus, sometimes a person has really put some careful consideration in to what they've said, and certain compliments can be a little harder to give for some people because they can feel a little vulnerable by doing so, which deserves to be appreciated and not dismissed. :-D)

    I managed to get myself to the 'smile and say thank you' stage, but I often still issue it with disclaimers. (eg I was complimented on my writing the other day, my response: I'm not in a position to agree or disagree, but thank you. -_- ).

    Oh, and what gender the compliment comes from doesn't factor greatly in to my reaction - but if I have a major crush on the issuer there's lots more blushing and hand-fumbling. :redface:
     
  10. Mercurial
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    Mercurial Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, it's nice to be complimented on something that you've done especially well on; it's nice to know that all the hard work you've done has been appreciated. I dont mind if it's from a male or a female because a compliment to me is simply that: a compliment.

    I really do enjoy receiving them (but only when they're due); my challenge is accepting them properly. IE...

    "Thanks for doing that. I absolutely loved what you've written / created / accomplished, etc."
    "Aww, wow. Thanks. It's not so great anyway. I mean, after all, I made mistakes here and here and here."
    "No, you did a good job!"
    "I could've done better."
    "..."

    OR

    "You look really pretty today!"
    "Oh, thanks. ...But you dont think _____ is a little off?"
    "No, you look wonderful."
    "Really? I dont think so at all."
    "..."

    I'm trying really hard to learn to just say "Thank you; I appreciate that" and move on without letting my self-depricating comments ruin a perfectly nice conversation.

    I absolutely love to give compliments though.

    I think it stems from something in my personality that likes to give but is generally uncomfortable receiving. I cant stand Christmas or my birthday, because I always feel the effort someone spends on me is time ill-spent. Or that I dont show my appreciation enough. Or that... Well, you get it. (Right?!)
     
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  11. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    I dislike compliments altogether. But have learnt to say thank you.
    I have self esteem issues I suppose...
     
  12. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Really? I never would have guessed.
     
  13. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    Compliments are nice at times, but I especially dislike positive feedback on my looks. I like to think that people are looking at the wrong girl, especially if they comment on my weight.
     
  14. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Compliments are both uplifting and uncomfortable. They penetrate your armor, so it is easier to accept them from someone you really trust.
     
  15. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Actually, I lied... I love it when my kids compliment me. It is simple adorable to have Mase and Ami tell me I look pretty or that I'm the betterest mum in the widest world. tee hee!

    Mase even compliments me on how well I am taking care of his baby... simply because my stomach is growing larger and larger all the time. It's gorgeous! :p
     
  16. Mercurial
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    Mercurial Contributing Member Contributor

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    Has anyone else noticed that generally females find themselves less attractive than they actually are while men find themselves more attractive then they actually are? (In all aspects --physically, intellectually, etc) :D ... In general, I say.

    Just an observation.

    I understand where you're coming from, Zorell. If someone ever gives me a physical compliment, my first instinct is something along the lines of "Are they being sarcastic and trying to actually hurt my feelings?" or "They're trying to butter me up. They must want something."
     
  17. Dr. Doctor
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    Dr. Doctor Contributing Member

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    Really, comments from both genders are great; they let you know what you're doing right and make you feel better about yourself. It's nice to get them from a nice girl, but then again, it's also cool to get them from a guy too.
     
  18. 67Kangaroos
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    67Kangaroos Contributing Member

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    i like compliments :) but i tend not to believe them most of the time...

    i like how the same words can be insults or compliments depending on who they're coming from. in america, my paleness usually gets and "(ew) you're so pale" meaning "you look sick" but in asia, i get more "(wow) you're so pale!" meaning "paleness rocks"! :) haha~ yay!

    koreans used to come up to me, make a fist and exclaim "small face!" .... i had no idea what that meant until i looked at some pictures....

    i work at a construction office right now, so i get my share of... unwelcome comments... creepy old contractors, ewwww....
     
  19. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    DXo you ever get a compliment and immediately ask yourself, "What does this person want from me in return?"
     
  20. arron89
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    arron89 Banned

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    I love the compliments that are actually veiled insults.
    Like "You have the prettiest eyes" = "What's up with your face?", or "I like the colour of that dress" = "That dress is hideous and 3 sizes too small, you're not kidding anyone".

    I'm a terrible person :p
     
  21. rory
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    rory Contributing Member

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    I'm the exact same way. I had to train myself to say thank you because I was really offending people (my friends) to the point that they were getting mad at me. And I've stopped telling anyone when my is birthday because I hate the fuss they make over me and I'd way rather give presents at Christmas than receive them. I'd rather see other people happy than myself.

    When people give me things, or do things for me, or compliment me I always feel like I owe them, like I'm in their debt. It's a horrible way to think, but I feel like I could never repay them. I'd really rather not deal with it. When I'm happy with my work, my appearance, or whatever, that's good enough for me.
     
  22. Hsnodgrass
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    Hsnodgrass Senior Member

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    I only like compliments if I actually did something to deserve one. Superficial compliments bug the s*** out of me. I'd rather have someone tell me I suck at something when I do, than hear some sugarcoated, make-you-feel-better, BS compliment. That being said, I like them from anybody! :D
     
  23. TheFedoraPirate
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    Depends on the compliment. As it happens I'm, uh, less-than-thrilled at being born female. So traditional female oriented compliments work the opposite way on my ego.

    Best compliment I ever got was this time I gave a presentation and afterwards one of the girls asked if I worked out 'cause she 'd had trouble paying attention because she kept being distracted by my muscular arms.

    Or the time on a road trip this girl insisted I take her number despite me listing several reasons why I couldn't/shouldn't and generally trying to back out of it. I'm not that into girls, and it's not exactly a "compliment", but it certainly inflated my ego being the only one to come away with a chick's number (despite the rest of the guys being perfectly straight and probably more interested).

    Oh, lulz.
     
  24. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    I like compliments from anyone unless it's customers at work coming in and saying something like "Hey, beautiful, [insert something that reeks of misogynism here]." Then it just irritates me.
     
  25. arron89
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    arron89 Banned

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    Yknow what's horrible? Complimenting a chick, then having to explain to her that you're actually gay and weren't flirting with her. They never believe you. They just glare. Yet another reason never to compliment anyone.
     

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