1. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    Could a shy, modest female share her HONEST thoughts to help me portray my blushing main character?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Shy Lauren, Oct 20, 2014.

    Brenda was 22 years old & a lovable 5'1 straight A geek, the only virgin of her friends & so meek that she wouldn't even wear a 2-piece suit at the beach despite a decent body. Her best friend Ashley would tease her about having a "bubble butt" under her jeans, much to her dismay, as well as her C-cup boobs that she would hide under sweaters.

    One hot summer day at noon she was waiting at home alone for a package to arrive & ran to the door, fresh out of the shower in just her towel. Being a klutz, she tripped, lost the towel & not only was there no package, but she locked herself out NAKED! There's NOTHING in the front or backyard to cover her untanned lily-white body with, not even a trash bag!

    1. What is your age, are you a geek & how close are you to Brenda's emotional & physical description?

    2. Is this your worst nightmare? If so why? Is it the vulnerability? The helplessness?

    3. How you would react once you felt that cold door slam against your buns, heard it click & knew for a fact you were locked outside? What would you say out loud? What would you do with your hands? How could you see yourself reacting when you feel a surprisingly cold breeze across your bare butt?

    4. When you imagined yourself in this predicament while sitting at your computer, did you blush at all? Or subconsciously cover your breasts even though you are currently clothed?

    5. How would your best friend react later when you told her the story of YOU of all people locking yourself out naked?

    If you are ***NOT*** a shy, modest female but still a writer who can help, could you answer THESE questions instead please???

    1. As Brenda looks down in horror at her totally bare body, what does she say out loud to herself? (keep in mind, she NEVER uses swear words)

    2. Her attractive, 6 foot 3, 45 year old neighbor, Mr. Jenson, walks outside to check something on his car. Brenda has had a MAJOR crush on him since she was in high school. Also, while she likes Mr. Jenson, his wife is the BIGGEST gossip in town. That's the LAST person Brenda would ever want to hear about this. He says "Hi Brenda! How are you?" Brenda realizes that since she is pressed up against the fence, Mr. Jenson has no idea that Brenda is not wearing a stitch of clothes, he can only see her head. What is going through Brenda's mind as she's blushing red and having a 3 minute conversation? What is she doing with her arms? And how does her virginity play on her insecurities?

    3. As she's running bare all the way across the backyard past the big gap in the fence trying to find the spare key, a car drives by driven by a popular girl she went to high school with and what does she yell out the window about Brenda's virginity and her exposed body that makes her literally dive behind the fence in embarrassment?

    4. She was never able to find the spare key, and 2 hours later her mother comes home, spots her in the open, watches her dive behind a small bush and lets her inside. And what does her mother say out loud that not only takes away Brenda's dignity but is loud enough for Mr. Jenson to peek over the fence? How does Mr. Jenson react when he sees a nude Brenda and her bare, jiggling buttcheeks running into her house and how does Brenda feel inside at his reaction?

    5. Turns out a day later Brenda sees people giggling at her at school, and then picks up her town's local newspaper. Looks like Mr. Jenson's wife gossiped all the way to the newspaper editor about what happened, and her story is on the front page! What does the headline say, and what does the picture look like that accompanies it? (perhaps one that Mr. Jenson's wife took through the window)
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2014
  2. jazzabel
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    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

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    By excluding all non-shy, non-modest or non-females from this question, you are depriving yourself of much useful advice. We are all writers here, putting ourselves into other people's shoes is what we do best ;)
     
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  3. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    Lol you are correct!! I'm sorry about that. Can I please NOT exclude you and ask you if you could answer the 5 questions about the character? Would greatly appreciate it!!!
     
  4. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    Actually Jazzabel, since you are NOT a shy female, can I please you how you would write THESE questions instead?

    1. As Brenda looks down in horror at her totally bare body, what does she say out loud to herself? (keep in mind, she NEVER uses swear words)

    2. Her attractive, 6 foot 3, 45 year old neighbor, Mr. Jenson, walks outside to check something on his car. Brenda has had a MAJOR crush on him since she was in high school. Also, while she likes Mr. Jenson, his wife is the BIGGEST gossip in town. That's the LAST person Brenda would ever want to hear about this. He says "Hi Brenda! How are you?" Brenda realizes that since she is pressed up against the fence, Mr. Jenson has no idea that Brenda is not wearing a stitch of clothes, he can only see her head. What is going through Brenda's mind as she's blushing red and having a 3 minute conversation? What is she doing with her arms? And how does her virginity play on her insecurities?

    3. As she's running bare all the way across the backyard past the big gap in the fence trying to find the spare key, a car drives by driven by a popular girl she went to high school with and what does she yell out the window about Brenda's virginity and her exposed body that makes her literally dive behind the fence in embarrassment?

    4. She was never able to find the spare key, and 2 hours later her mother comes home, spots her in the open, watches her dive behind a small bush and lets her inside. And what does her mother say out loud that not only takes away Brenda's dignity but is loud enough for Mr. Jenson to peek over the fence? How does Mr. Jenson react when he sees a nude Brenda and her bare, jiggling buttcheeks running into her house and how does Brenda feel inside at his reaction?

    5. Turns out a day later Brenda sees people giggling at her at school, and then picks up her town's local newspaper. Looks like Mr. Jenson's wife gossiped all the way to the newspaper editor about what happened, and her story is on the front page! What does the headline say, and what does the picture look like that accompanies it? (perhaps one that Mr. Jenson's wife took through the window)
     
  5. Shadowfax
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    Shadowfax Contributing Member Contributor

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    Oh dear, Lauren, you do seem to want to write about young people being embarassed about being seen naked in public...sorry, you seem to want a committee to write about them.
     
  6. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    I'm just asking for help and an opinion. Please leave me alone and stop stalking me.
     
  7. aikoaiko
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    aikoaiko Contributing Member

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    Well, the first thing anyone would do I imagine, regardless of other considerations, is find a shrub. LOL Living in what sounds like a suburban neighborhood there are bound to be lots of those around, even if they're weren't her own:).

    Clearly cold wouldn't be a problem in the summer, so she would want to seek shelter first. Then she would move around the house somehow to find a window or back door or something, and in summer the windows would be open or at least have screens that are easy to take out. If it's a house with central air then the windows might be closed, but given how self-conscious/nervous this character seems she probably wouldn't be above breaking a window.

    Actually, to be perfectly honest, this does not sound like a very big problem, LOL. I mean, it's embarrassing of course (whether you're a virgin or self-conscious or not:oops:), but given the time of year it should be very easy to find a window or at least some other way into the house. Even if she couldn't do that immediately she could still hide behind the landscaping until someone else came home. I doubt anyone would stand in the middle of a yard for hours at a time letting everyone get their eyeful.;)
     
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  8. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    Hey! Thanks for your input! If you check out the second set of questions you would see quite a few obstacles come in her way, like her handsome older neighbor who can only see her from the neck up who doesn't know she's nude.

    May I ask, are you a shy female? If so could you answer each of the questions as to how you would react? I really appreciate it!!!
     
  9. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    I have merged the two identical threads and their respective responses into one thread.
     
  10. Renee J
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    Renee J Contributing Member

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    Actually, if she was really shy and modest, I don't think she'd walk around the house in just a towel and certainly wouldn't answer the door in one. She'd probably have a fear that someone could see in the windows. So, she'd probably have a big robe handy that covered her to her ankles.
     
  11. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    Hi Renee! I understand that. My character is in a huge rush, not thinking clearly. And you know what? Not even joking, I was rushing around my house at 100 miles per hour in a loose robe down to my ankles once, it hooked on a chair at the wrong angle as I slipped across a wet floor, and WHOOSH I was right out of it and naked as a jaybird, luckily in my own house alone lol.

    So if these admittedly unlikely circumstances happened, could you please answer either as a modest female, or suggestions on what could happen, as per my 2 sets of questions above? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks Renee!
     
  12. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    This is the second time that you've asked us to help you write a story about a shy geeky young person with a lack of a tan and a "bubble butt" who is trapped outside naked and viewed by an older neighbor of the opposite sex.

    Why does this keep coming up? If this is a scenario that's important to you, then probably you're the one that should be writing it. If it's some sort of poll or research project, you might get more answers by telling us what it's about.
     
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  13. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    It is sort of a poll, but for my writing. I'm actually a very outgoing woman, so I think it would be helpful to get input from a modest woman to better and more realistically write my character in this scenario. I am not looking to steal ideas, just for a spark.
     
  14. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    Nothing about the scenario makes sense. I know you won't like my reply and probably get annoyed, but fuck it, it's a public forum.

    There is absolutely no logical way that she would end up outside, nude, under the conditions you describe. Is the door already open? I call bullshit. She's running to get a package in just a towel knowing she may have to sign for it while being very shy? I call bullshit. She trips, drops her towel (not just before the door but before the door arc, so it doesn't get in the way of it closing or get swept outside), and ends up outside completely nude as the door somehow suddenly closes (after being left open mind you) with the towel still inside? I call triple bullshit. And why the fuck is she taking a shower in the middle of the day when expecting a delivery? She MUST be dumb. The whole thing stinks like an immature fantasy, especially all those extra questions posed, with the neighbor and the gap in the fence and the newspaper article. But if it isn't, get your logic right and it might be worth our while answering.
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2014
  15. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    The problem is that it doesn't make enough sense for me to address. It might be believable in a brief comedy sketch onstage or on TV, but what's essentially a visual gag isn't going to work in writing.
     
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  16. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    Yeah. She wants to 'realistically' write the character in an absurdly unrealistic scenario.
     
  17. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    First off, it's a ligthearted comedy and I'm not aiming for startling realism.

    Second off, I don't know about how packages are delivered where you come from, but where I am on the East Coast, for certain packages, the delivery man can just leave them at the backdoor if you instruct them to. Maybe I should have clarified that.

    Third off, she's expecting a package "at some point". Could be now, could be 3 days from now.

    Fourth off, I didn't think I would have to go into specific detail, but what happens is, she is rushing around in her towel. She wants to get changed immediately, but keeps getting distracted (dog, friend calling, etc.) She opens the door, heads back to pick up her phone, goes towards the door, but her feet are slippy from the shower, she slips, her towels hooks on a car, and as a huge klutz, she stumbled out the door and it shuts behind her.

    I'm sorry if it's not realistic enough, but the point of the scene is that my bookworm character faces her most embarrassing nightmare of a day, and it makes her realize that if she can overcome that, she can overcome anything, and it leads to her, later on in the novel, standing up for herself.
     
  18. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm sorry; if you want this to lead to anything at all serious, it needs to be more plausible and less focused on someone's lack of tanned skin.
     
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  19. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    I know this isn't what you've asked for, but it still doesn't make any sense. I won't explain why cause this could go on for a while. It doesn't have to be realistic, it just has to make sense. Otherwise your reader is too busy thinking WTF, like I am, to stay in the story or to have any fun, unless the whole thing is absurd in which case what happens outside doesn't matter either. For example, if she's been rushing around for a while her feet would not still be wet at the door. I slipped over recently on a wet wooden floor because of some rain through an open window. I went down hard and seriously hurt my arm. But my bare feet were dry moments later after walking to the bathroom. It doesn't make any sense her feet would still be wet underneath. It just seems a desperate attempt to make the scenario happen, and that kills the story. If it feels authentic it will be more effective, regardless if it's a light-hearted comedy or a serious crime drama.
     
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  20. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    Can you think of a more authentic way for her to be locked outdoors in the nude then?
     
  21. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    Yeah, probably. But this ain't my story.
     
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  22. Shy Lauren
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    Shy Lauren Banned

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    Okay well thanks for posting that was a gigantic help.
     
  23. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    Why does she have to be locked outdoors in the nude? If this is about her overcoming an upsetting experience, why is nudity mandatory? Why is being stared at by an older generation mandatory?
     
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  24. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    Because it seems to be a fantasy. Hence the other almost identical story.
     
  25. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    I just read through this thread, figuratively scratching my head. Not sure exactly what's going on here. I'm in the camp with people who think this is a very contrived scenario that just won't wash except as a comedy sketch.

    If you are truly serious about your story, and not just taking a poll, I'd suggest you find some other way to embarrass this young person. Something that is a lot more believeable. Like maybe some bully takes a photo of her in the shower at school and puts it on the internet, or something like that.

    Listen to what people are saying here. Your scenario of getting locked out of the house naked, in broad daylight, is not believable. There isn't any point in going off in a huff because some of us don't cotton to this idea.

    If you're going to ask for opinions on the forum, you will get them, and they won't always be happy-clappy pats on the head. Take on board what people are saying, and you'll be the wiser for it.

    Myself, I would never answer a door in the nude. If I was in a compromised situation when the doorbell rang, I would simply shout through the door that I'd be 'with them in a minute' and get clothed.
     

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