Hi, I am here soliciting a sentence about a charming salesman and his impact on receptionists, secretaries, gatekeepers, et al. Just a summarizing sentence about how he gets them to drop their guards, brings them out of their professional shells, until eventually granted an audience with their bosses, etc. Thus far I have pieces: "… questions would erode the carefully constructed veneer of …" "until" And then I get stuck. Until what? Thank you in advance.
'Until [metaphor] is exposed' comes to mind for me. He's seeking a vulnerability to earn his sales, so he is wearing them down, finding the right spot to nail, and then using that knowledge to give that push into a sale or whatever it is he's after at that point.
I like/prefer your use of 'professional shell' over 'carefully constructed veneer' — and with that, maybe not using 'bringing someone out of it' though (bit cliche)—somehow have it winkled, worn away, pierced with eloquent patter and a disarming smile.
This narrates okay, not sure about sense. His natural and irrepressible charm up-busted every gatekeeper's frown into a wide grin of lunacy. Theirs was now the new imperative, to provide him access to each one of their treasures, both their bosses and their bank accounts, even their customer database. He was sweetener, delicious ray to darkened hearts.
Great ideas everyone! Any chance we could keep tinkering with it? As much as I like matwoolf's sentences, ideally it should be one sentence. I think I like the idea of starting the sentence: "With eloquent patter and a disarming smile, he …" Delicious Ray is a character whose story needs telling. Thanks!
