1. JessaNova
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    JessaNova Senior Member

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    Crashing into a locked door?

    Discussion in 'Research' started by JessaNova, Sep 13, 2010.

    I'm trying to write this section for my book and am at a complete loss. :confused:

    It's told in 1st person:

    The person is walking up to a a house and tries to open the door... then makes an 'umph' or 'oomph' sound and crashes into it, realizing it's locked.

    Does that make sense?
     
  2. Taylee91
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    Taylee91 Carpe Diem Contributor

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    Yes, definitely. He/she's walking at a fast pace. He/she thrusts a hand out, grasps the knob, then tries to push the door open. But since it's locked, he/she walks into the door with a "uh!" and gets a splintery forearm and possibly a scratched face. Then of course, he/she kicks the door. And the stupid thing still won't open.
     
  3. JessaNova
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    JessaNova Senior Member

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    I'm not quite sure how to write that expressively you know?

    This is a little example:

    Since I've been to the house so many times, it wasn't really necessary to knock anymore. I walked up in full stride and turned the door. Oomph! It was locked! Since when?
     
  4. Taylee91
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    Taylee91 Carpe Diem Contributor

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    Hmm....Let me think....How about this:

    Since I've been to the house so many times, it wasn't really necessary to knock anymore. I walked up in full stride and turned the door. A second later, my face planted into the splintery wood. A soft "Oomph!" escaped from my mouth. It was locked! Since when?
     
  5. JessaNova
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    JessaNova Senior Member

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    Yes, that is exactly what I needed.
    I've been writing all day and suddenly came to this part and couldn't get the words out.
    Thank you so much.
     
  6. art
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    art Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think what you have there, courtesy of tayleea, works very well. I like 'oomph' very much. Two, minor points:

    Is, I'd been to the house more fitting?
    Turn..the handle, maybe?
     
  7. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    one turns the doorknob, not the door!
     
  8. JessaNova
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    JessaNova Senior Member

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    You can if you're the Hulk.
     
  9. Chudz
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    Chudz Contributing Member

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    Hulk: "Hulk not turn. Hulk SMASH!"


    Hey wait! That wasn't me. I didn't write that.

    *Ponders just how the heck the Hulk got his password. . . .*
     

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