Create bad poetry

Discussion in 'Word games' started by Lemex, Oct 22, 2014.

  1. Quixote's Biographer

    Quixote's Biographer Active Member

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    Title: Words

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  2. Valery Faye

    Valery Faye Member

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    What is poetry
    but the meaning of everything
    condensed into stanzas
    and spoken beautifully?
     
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  3. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Insert Title Here

    What was it I was going to write?
    I don't remember
    What is it?

    Sound of guns perhaps
    Sound of shin bones homing, homely in the open summer breeze.
    Dolce et decorum
    Hweat! Whisky

    I ehar you calling
    and I just misspelled 'hear'.
    Have I been drinking alreadY?
     
  4. Mumble Bee

    Mumble Bee Keep writing. Contributor

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    Every time the words leave my mouth, they start -
    *ahem*
    When the words leave my mouth th-
    *cough*
    ....

    Words leaving my-
    *Ahem*

    TICKLE
    WORDS TICKLE

    *cough*
     
  5. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Now we have dog days,
    The cats fear the weather.
    Soon fur begins to fly,
    As the molting begins.
    Long nights with the window open,
    And nothing but the sheets on the bed.
    I can't wait for the leaves to turn,
    Those are the days I yearn.
     
  6. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    Read all my winning poetry entries. Seriously.

    I wrote this at work in an old office job, and stuck it to the wall of my boss's cubicle when he was away for a moment, in very big letters:

    Hippos, hippos, in the sky,
    No one knew that they could fly,
    but they do and they don't care,
    If little humans look and stare.

    Free they are to roam the skies,
    Flying next to apple pies,
    Sharing pleasant hippo hugs,
    Man, I need to give up drugs...



    He was mad.
     
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  7. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    And this. I love this one for it's shitness, but they can also be song lyrics. I mean, sing it in the correct rhythm and it could be very catchy!


    What do I want.
    I’ll tell you what I want.

    I want to sleep with a different girl, every night
    I want to go to the bar and win a big fight
    I want to be really rich, and drive a fast car
    I want to travel the world no matter how far

    I want a big TV, and a comfortable chair
    I want more than I ask, I want more than my share
    I want to see world peace but fight in a war
    I want everything, and then gimme some more!

    I want a really big house on top of a hill,
    I want all you can eat and eat more than my fill
    I want to know everything and always be right
    I want to play all day and party all night!

    I want beer and wine and an electric guitar
    I want to be a big singer or a movie star
    I want to find a needle in a stack of hay
    I want to know who the fuck shot JFK!

    I want big and small and in between,
    To be a fairy tale king with a fairy tale queen
    I want my own talk show with my own white trash,
    I want to swim in a pool filled with cold hard cash

    I want blind kids to see what colours are
    I want guided tours around the brightest star
    I want to go to the moon and play basketball
    I want ants to be huge, and elephants small!

    And on top of all that I want a chocolate cake,
    And a jelly donut and a cheesy snake,
    And a sea of waffles with syrup too!
    That’s everything I want if I can’t have you!
     
  8. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Misleading


    In and out,
    In and out,
    Now deeper,
    In and out,
    Aww yes, that feels so good.
    Now in your nose and out your mouth,
    In and out,
    In and out,
    Very deep this time,
    In and out,
    In and out,
    Don't you feel much better?
    Taking in and expelling is so pleasing,
    It's best when we master our breathing.​
     
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  9. BrianIff

    BrianIff I'm so piano, a bad punctuator. Contributor

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    Is that a pawn? Tell me it's a pawn, and I'm not just obsessed.
     
  10. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Pawn? It's just a misleading poem where people with dirty minds think it is about sex when it's really just about a breathing exercise.
     
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  11. BrianIff

    BrianIff I'm so piano, a bad punctuator. Contributor

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    [​IMG]
    I was thinking like these.

    White mates in four puzzle, btw.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2015
  12. Mumble Bee

    Mumble Bee Keep writing. Contributor

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    The Queen would always horse around
    She'd pawn everything off on the King
    The Rook she took on royal ground
    Drew her bored with checked mating
     
  13. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    There were 27 fleas all dancing in a row.
    One saw dog and yelled "Go, go, go!"
    They did a little jig and then hopped onto his head.
    The dog scratched the spot and now they're dead, dead, dead.
     
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  14. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    Stupid fleas.
     
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  15. Bjørnar Munkerud

    Bjørnar Munkerud Senior Member

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    Oslo, Norway
    The Breeze of Winters Past
    You're the breeze of winters past
    The rainstorm drizzle on my moist socks
    You have hailed me far and wide
    You deserve more than this nasty box

    If I lived your life I would die of thirst
    'Cause you're the Salt Lake to my Salt Lake City
    And with Utah and Metah
    Perhaps we could go to California

    The flowers you sent were lost in the mail
    But I trust you sent them anyway
    I'm sure they were brilliant
    And suited your commute on the subway

    I never fail to enlighten you
    When you have doubts in me
    I always come around to explain myself
    But you never understand

    You're not like the Amazon rainforest
    You're dry and dirty with gross itchy hair
    But I'm no smartass cobra snake either
    Like, I'm not gonna tell you I care
     
  16. DefinitelyMaybe

    DefinitelyMaybe Contributor Contributor

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    If purple prose should be thy aim
    The English language you will maim
    Say the yellow sun is full of spots
    And you don't need to write no plots
    Past and present sit on the fence
    When we fail to choose a tense
    There's no need to write in style
    Everything dies in the slush pile
     
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  17. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    punctuation, masturbation, facebook, tumblr.
    i'll write the way i post and let you know that i'm a mumbler.
    majuscule letters are for fuddy-duddy farts.
    i'm a genius, self proclaimed! don't need to know the parts
    of speech or syntactical progression.
    no quotes, all commas, and I'll make you this confession
    that I can't be arsed about a stranded proposition.
    i'm famous, don't you know; i'm here to tell you, that's my mission.

    [​IMG] :bigtongue:
     
  18. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    ODE TO BIOCHEMISTRY AND EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGY

    Set the spark to the tinder,
    Like you were trying to light a fire
    As if for a funeral pyre
    For some kind of pachyderm.

    But we’re not burning elephants
    You who consider yourself a movie star
    Stretch your drunken self on the bar
    And try not to think about sperm

    Whales staving in your skull
    Because they aren’t, you paranoid putz
    You don’t want us to think you’re nutz,
    If you do, we’ll make you squirm.
     
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  19. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Band name: Squirmy Spermy Pachydermy

    They cover Hole songs. Courtney Love is all about them. ;)
     
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  20. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap,
    Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap.

    He said all you need is to write them a song,
    Now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along,
    No, don't sing along.

    Monica, Monica,
    Have a happy Hanukkah.

    I saw Santa Clause,
    He said 'Hello' to Ross.

    And please tell Joey,
    Christmas will be snowy.

    And Rachel and Chandler,
    Have a ggg-lauuunanglaar!
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2015
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  21. DancingCorpse

    DancingCorpse Member

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    I feel so sad I might just cry
    My tears are so wet they ruined my shirt
    Turns out they were colourful and now I wear a tie-dye
    Could be worse, could be in a hearse falling into mount tiede
    There's a tie fighter up in the sky, screaming 'why oh why?'
    The sun went kaboom now I am going to die. *Cry*
     
  22. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    Plot Summary of the film Jurassic Park

    There once was an island of Things
    Unpronounceable, unspellable Things
    And sometimes some Things
    Would eat other Things
    Or even humans - a favorite of Things.
     
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  23. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    To Ganymede and Titan,
    Yes sir I've been around,
    But there ain't no place,
    In the whole of Space
    Like that good ol' toddlin' town.

    Lunar City Seven,
    You're my idea of heaven.
    On a scale of ten you score eleven,
    That good ol' toddlin' town.
     
  24. Inks

    Inks Senior Member

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    Drowning in Hershey seas
    Bits of cake in vanilla ice-cream
    Throw in some jimmies
    Add a few gummy bears
    Now where is Leonardo DiCaprio?
    Ah.. if only it was Jello.
     
  25. Robert Musil

    Robert Musil Comparativist Contributor

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    Here's a haiku I thought of while observing my infant daughter:

    A wayward piece of
    glitter? Or light striking flecks
    of spittle just so?
     
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