1. spklvr
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    spklvr Contributing Member Contributor

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    Creature Problems

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by spklvr, Mar 26, 2011.

    I have created a creature for my story. They are the result of an experiment. Breeding seemingly harmless demons with humans in order for them to gain the ability to see the magical world (spirits, creatures that usually stay invisible like fairies, people possessed by demons, etc). They have the appearance, physical strength and life-span of humans.

    Unknown to the people breeding them, their powers evolved. They began being able to read people's feelings, control people with their mind, gain the ability of telekinesis, astral projection, enter dreams, extract memories from people and send their spirits back in time to view past events. The powers evolved in that order, though not everyone gained all the latter abilities.

    I'm wondering, does anything out there resemble these in any way? If there is already an established creature like this, I could use it to draw some more inspiration from (and maybe get a better idea for a name).

    Naming it has also become a problem. I finally decided to use a Latin word, as I've been using a lot of Latin in the story anyway. Up until now I've been using the word Seer, (which is still going to be the layman's term) but the creature is not really a seer as they can't predict the future.

    Anyway, the names I have so far are these:

    Oculos – eyes
    Proditor – traitor
    Striga – witch
    Saga – wisewoman/fortune teller
    Visus – seeing
    Vates – seer
    Sentire – sensing

    They are right according to both my Latin book and google, but Latin is such a complicated language. If you know Latin and it's wrong, please point it out.

    Does any of these sound good?
     
  2. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    I don't see any problems with the creature aspect, but one thing to caution you on is that it seems like it might be easy to make a character Sue-ish. Don't use the telekinesis, mind power, etc as too-convenient plot devices or as ways to get characters to magically know things in an effort to cover plot holes. Steer clear of this and you'll be fine.
     
  3. NateSean
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    NateSean Active Member

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    Honestly, the concept sounds original enough to me. But then, if you look hard enough you can find any two stories that have similarities. If the powers have limits on them I don't see how it could get Mary-Suish. Even the magic in JK Rowling's books have limits on them, so we've seen responsible usage of powers.

    I'd be very interested in actually seeing an excerpt.
     
  4. Bartleby
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    Bartleby Member

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    The TV show supernatural uses alot of demons, they feed humans demon blood and make them into these SuperHuman demons with telekinesis and other powers, you can look into that.
     
  5. spklvr
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    spklvr Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm an evil master, so my characters aren't getting out of things that easily. Besides, most of my characters aren't that strong since they deny that they can see things other people can't.
     
  6. sereda008
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    sereda008 Senior Member

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    At first as I was reading your post I could not help but have a "Been there, done that" feeling about it. But then it became more interesting. I have never heard of a story that had the people unaware of the dangers of such creatures, and when your write your book I would be really interested to read it. (Really interested. I am addicted to such stuff.)

    As for the name, I would suggest Sentire.
     
  7. Bran
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    Bran Senior Member

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    use more languages than latin. in the story im writing now, i named a place "morket" which is "darkness" in Norwegian.

    also, i would use more mundane names for them... try a name generator perhaps?
     
  8. spklvr
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    spklvr Contributing Member Contributor

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    You might already know, but it's technically "mørket", but I guess you don't have the letter ø? To get the right pronucation, you should use ö at least. As for Latin, I like to stay consistent. Latin is used as an international language when it comes to specias names and such, and as I use Latin for all the spells they use, I think it's better to use it for all the proper creature names as well.

    I'm glad it seems interesting. I'm always a little worried that what I'm writing has been done to death without me knowing, and that's a problem when writing fantasy. My main reason for creating my own creature as well.
     
  9. AwesomeTingle
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    AwesomeTingle Member

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    Those are all great, your story seems really interesting! :D But from what you have described, I would say you should name it Proditor or Visus. It sounds like two already known words (Predator and Vicious) and without even knowing it, the reader will make that connection and decide that these creatures are a threat, although really, they don't know that they're a threat yet (right?). At least that's what I think. Tell me when you decide!
     
  10. FictionAddict
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    FictionAddict Senior Member

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    I've never read/seen/heard of a creature with all these powers together, only with combinations of two of them. It seems original to me.

    About the name, I like Oculos because it's very... er... unique. It's different and has meaning behind it, which makes it perfect. Proditor and Visus may spark recognition in the readers, but not knowing beforehand that these are actually real nouns in Latin, it may seem you just changed the words pradator and vicious to make them look different. In my opinion, that's bad.
     
  11. Cult of Fish
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    Cult of Fish New Member

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    In the word and void series, written by Terry Brooks, there are demons that look like humans who do control people's minds. They use their power for evil and feed upon the insanity and instability of the human mind. They're always hard to find and people don't know their being manipulated to do the demon's bidding until it's too late.
     
  12. SANSHA
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    SANSHA New Member

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    why dont you read about the rakshashas of the hindu mythlogy it can help :
    The Rakshasas, often translated as ogre, are evil, supernatural beings in Indian mythology. According to Hindu mythology, the Rakshasas were created by Brahma, the arch deity and god of creation. Brahma created the Rakshasas for the purpose of protecting the waters of the earth. Indian mythology recognizes the Rakshasas as titans or anti-gods. The Rakshasas eventually fell from grace and became beings that strived to overthrow the authority of the gods in order to rule according to their lusts.
     

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