1. Volvo802
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    Volvo802 New Member

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    Criticism needed. My first eulogy speech, for my grandfathers funeral.

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Volvo802, Feb 7, 2013.

    First time user of the forums. I hope to be a frequent person of this site. Anyway. This is it, full glory of what I have so far. Don't hesitate to be heavy on the critique, or suggest additions. I want some honest reflections because this will be spoken in front of a hundred or so people. I'm 19, so don't expect any college level of writing, lol. Thank you in advance! :D

    Hi there, Thank you for coming here today to celebrate and share the live of our amazing grandfather. For those who don’t know me, which I’m sure their may be a one or two of you out there in this crowd, my name is Jason xxx. John xxx was my grandfather, Jay is my father. … For me and my cousins, my grandfather was a guiding force in our lives. He set the path for use by showing us the importance of being a good person. He always did his best to show patience when we were at our worst. Well probably mostly me. (aha) John led a life many people can admire. It was an honor to be so close to him. He was close friends with everyone, a person who always had the best stories and tall tales. … Skiing, golfing, being a member of the elks club, and being a grandparent were all things he enjoyed. He taught me countless lessons in life, from teaching me how to hold a gun, to judging when pasta was at the proper al dente. I remember when I would lay with him on his bed and he would tell me stories. Stories about being air dropped in a foreign land and being captured – highlighting his bravery as a soldier -, or telling me how he was an important character in the role of the quote “Mafioso”. Nomatter the subject I was always listening with my head by his. I remember taking turns sitting on his lap as a child opening Christmas presents. I remember getting in trouble with the law and his silver tongue bailing me out of trouble (whoops). The countless memories we shared together shall be cherished in my heart forever. …
    My grandfather lived a very full, memorable and significant life, a life that could teach us many things. He once spoke these words to me;
    “If you love a flower, do not pick it up. For if you decide to pick it up, it shall die and cease to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.”

    He repeated this to me twice, to make sure his words have been heard. Those words are ones I shall not forget. His simplicity and basic beliefs of the laws of nature. His wisdom bestowed upon me a blessing in itself. … He was a man who I shall continue to think about and consult with every day in my heart. Acting as him when lost and seeking guidance. Etched forever in my brain are the sounds of his voice and advice.. I could not dream up a better person to be a role model for me, he was a great inspiration. … My grandfather pursued his many endeavours diligently, and always rose to meet a challenge. I always felt that he expected the same of me, too. He was philosophical in his approach to life. He especially had a great perspective when it came to the little things, never displaying anger or impatience. Instead, he showed a great dignity and humour. I'll miss his perspective and his quote “gentle” humour. I'll miss the surprising depth and scope of his knowledge. The strength of his character showed even in criticism. With a few wry words, my grandfather could be far more damning than most people could achieve with any strong language. … I will never forget him as a man who would sing and whistle old songs when there is nothing but a room of silence. I introduced him to many of my friends over the years, and they always told me how charismatic he'd been. The man who has given me courage in the darkest days, the one I could always talk to, the one who taught me the most important thing in life at the end of the day is, family. … A dedicated husband, a proud father, and caring grandfather. He was the best role model I could have ever asked for and I cannot reiterate that enough. Nomatter how ill he fell, he still held strong to his sense of humor and appreciation for life.

    He grew to the age of 82, far beyond what people expected. He is a constant reminder how far a persons will can take you, how much one person could endure with a little faith. I feel when talking of his passing I speak as if it is but a celebration of a life well lived. I’m positive as my life continues to unfolds\, I will continue to realize just how much I learned from him. I wish I could have given you one last hug before you went, but you’re at peace now. I hope heaven is real and you are with your wife, old friends and family. I thank you for everything, and I hope to see you again one day. Shake your hand and give you a hug. I thank you for the strength you have always given me. I love you, forever. Thank you all for your love, support and kindness.
     
  2. Trilby
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    Trilby Contributing Member Contributor

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    Welcome to the forums Volvo, I'm afraid that you need to have critiqued a couple of other works before you can put work up for critique - check out the rules.

    One thing I will say is that if you are not used to speaking in public you may want to shorten your speech, check through it and delete any unnecessary words or phrases.
     
  3. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    i'm afraid she's right, volvo... if time is a problem, i'll be happy to help you pare this down and correct the mistakes if you send it to me as an email attachment...

    i'm sorry you lost your grandfather, but if he's listening, i'm sure he'll be proud of you for being brave enough to speak in public and happy to know he was and is so well-loved...

    love and comforting hugs, maia
    maia3maia@hotmail.com
     
  4. Trilby
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    Trilby Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi again Volvo, I think you would be very wise to take Mia up on her offer - she is a very Knowledgeable lady.

    Just remember the congregation are not expecting a Shakespearian sonnet - they are there to honour your grandfather and will empathise with what you have to say - good luck! trilby
     
  5. Trilby
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    Trilby Contributing Member Contributor

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    Double post - I've started getting this 'are you sure you want to leave page' thing again.
     
  6. mg357
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    mg357 Active Member

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    Volvo802 very nice speech.
     
  7. Volvo802
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    Volvo802 New Member

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    Thank you all. I think the problem is I do not have any writing skills. ID hate to be giving feedback. Is it a 5 post minimum? I could welcome a few people in and such. And yes, this is the unshort version to pick and pull apart. Id definitely like it shorter. Thank you :) the funeral is tomorrow...
     

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