1. ohmyrichard
    Offline

    ohmyrichard Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    9

    cultivate

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by ohmyrichard, Mar 23, 2009.

    Hi, everyone.

    Please help me with the sentence "Higher education aims at cultivating graduates required by our society.", which is taken from a writing book compiled by non-native speakers. Please tell me whether it reads well. If not, then how should we improve it to make it idiomatic? I feel that it is a literal translation from Chinese and have tried hard to improve it, but I have failed in this effort. I have thought of the revisions of "Higher education aims at helping students develop into graduates with skills required for their future jobs." and "Higher education aims to help students cultivate skilled required by our society." but I'm afraid they are constructed according to logic and may be totally different from the way native speakers put it.

    Please help me out. Thanks.

    Richard
     
  2. Benska
    Offline

    Benska Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2008
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Australia
    Your original sentence didn't read too well, and was somewhat confusing, I think it was a direct translation, too. I understood what you meant by it, though.

    How about: "Higher education aims to cultivate within graduates the skills required by our society." ?
     
  3. Shadow Reeves
    Offline

    Shadow Reeves Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2008
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    On a plane filled with Motherf**king Snakes.
    i think that cultivate is the wrong word and prepared would work better.

    "Higher education aims at preparing graduates who are required by our society...to do something"
     
  4. ohmyrichard
    Offline

    ohmyrichard Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    9
    Right, it is better to have the verb "cultivate" take "skills" as its object. "To cultivate graduates" confuses us.
    Thanks,Benska. Oh, I have never met you before at this forum. Nice meeting you and I feel grateful to you for your help.
    Richard
     
  5. Benska
    Offline

    Benska Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2008
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Australia
    No problem ;). Yeah, the "cultivating graduates" part was probably what threw me off at first, I figured that it was the main thing that had to change.

    I'm glad to have helped, and nice to meet you too. :)
     
  6. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    'aims at' is poor grammar, as well... here's how i'd 'fix' that sentence with as little change as possible in what seems to have been the intent:

     
  7. ohmyrichard
    Offline

    ohmyrichard Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    9
    Great! Can we use "needs" to replace "requires" in your revision?
    Thanks.
    Richard
     
  8. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    sure... but 'requires' is more apt, imo...
     
  9. ohmyrichard
    Offline

    ohmyrichard Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    9
    Thank you, mammamaia. When I read English articles, perhaps because I focus too much on the understanding of the information provided, I often neglect too many lexical issues. But when I myself am trying to write in English or when I am reviewing my students' compositions, a lot of such problems arise and embarrass me. Then I will desperately try to find answers in my dictionaries,but most often I get no ready answers in them. After that, I will google them and to my disappointment, the search results often direct me to posts or blogs or essays by non-native speakers, many of whom, just like me, do not enjoy a high-level of English profiency, either, and tend to speak carelessly. But this forum is a great place, for here I never fail to get timely, reliable advice from you and other helpful members.
    Thanks for your help!!!
    Richard
     
  10. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    you can email me any time you need a quick answer, richard... a former writing mentee in colombia has been doing that for years now... and others all over the world do it, as well... it's a lot quicker than posting and waiting for replies, if you're in a hurry...

    love and hugs, maia
    maia3maia@hotmail.com
     
  11. ohmyrichard
    Offline

    ohmyrichard Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    9
    Thank you very much for your generosity and invitation. I often worry that if I keep asking others questions, they will feel annoyed and my emails may disturb their life. And I also hate to give others the impression that I am practising on them. It is my rule that if I can get a solution to a problem in my dictionaries and books and on google.com, I will not post it here. Only when I have no other choice will I come here seeking help from you and other members of this forum. I think I am doing a right thing.
    Thanks again. I will write to you.
    Richard
     
  12. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    i'll often get several questions in one day, from the same person... it's no problem for me, as helping writers [and others] is just what i do all day, every day... so feel free to write any time at all... as often as you need...
     
  13. ohmyrichard
    Offline

    ohmyrichard Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    9
    Thanks.
     

Share This Page