1. escorial
    Offline

    escorial Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0

    Death on the beach

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by escorial, May 31, 2013.

    As I held her neck in my twisted hands,I squeezed until the final breath was exhaled and a trickle of blood went past my thumb an dripped away from her chin.I stood,looked around at the ocean waves hitting the shore and lifted the limp body onto my arms.As we walked I began to cry in the darkness of the night.Past the sand dunes were the hole was dug.I placed the body in the grave an started covering it as fast as i could,then I sat there and waited for sunrise so daylight could take the devil inside me once more.A couple walking with their dog passed and waved in recognition of the years we had lived in this small seaside town.I waved back,standing still reflecting on the circumstances that brought me to the beach last night.Nearly twenty five years we walked this place together and shared all it offered us,so many memories.It was right and fitting that this should be her final resting place and with that I walked on ,tears flowing from me.I put her collar and lead on the mound and was glad that the vets cold clinical surgery was not going to be her last image ready to dispose of her worn old body.
     
  2. erebh
    Offline

    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2013
    Messages:
    2,620
    Likes Received:
    467
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Hi Escorial, if you are waiting for critique you may need to pack a lunch and a flask. Members can't help you on this until you've fulfilled some site criteria.
     
  3. escorial
    Offline

    escorial Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    that's ok..i'm more of a reader inside thinker but i will read and offer my views..thanx.
     
  4. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    this is not the right place for posting work for critique, anyway... needs to go down in the workshop section... better delete it before you incur the wrath of a moderator...
     
  5. EdFromNY
    Online

    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2010
    Messages:
    4,684
    Likes Received:
    2,534
    Location:
    Queens, NY
    A perusal of the site rules might not come amiss.
     
  6. minstrel
    Offline

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Messages:
    8,725
    Likes Received:
    4,821
    Location:
    Near Los Angeles
    Please take Ed's advice and read the rules. Before you can post work for critique, you must have been a member for two weeks, have made twenty or more posts, and have done two or more constructive critiques of the work of other members in our Writing Workshop.

    When you fulfill those requirements, you may post your work in the Writing Workshop, not here. This is the General Writing section, and it is for discussion of writing techniques, problems, etc.

    For the time being, I'll leave this thread here. It may be deleted at a later time, though.
     

Share This Page