1. destinationless
    Offline

    destinationless Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2008
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Indiana, USA

    Defining Love.

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by destinationless, Sep 26, 2008.

    An excerpt from my most recent blog. I'm trying to define it, rewire my mind, if you will.

    What is love? What is the difference between love and care? Is it a necessity in this world? Does love come in different forms, types, kinds, or is there one universal feeling? Think of it like this: is the love you feel for your wife the same love you have for your dog? ...Why? Why not? (Only unto the separatist, separation.) Why are we as humans designed to be monogamic creatures? Is a polyomic person any different? Homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual, transexual...

    More than that, why is the word tossed around so carelessly? It is a constant chant among the school hallways, "Love ya, bitch!" "Oh, you know I love ya." "I -love- this!"
    Does anyone really know what it means?

    -D
     
  2. Cogito
    Offline

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    35,935
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    Words can only communicate experiences thet tha speaker and the listener have in common. But love is such a personal experience, different for every person who experiences it, and for every person that person feels it in relation to, that it defies definition.

    How can you ever expect to define something like that? And by defining it, you enclose it in limits. Love cannot exist in neatly delineated limits.
     
  3. Acglaphotis
    Offline

    Acglaphotis Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2008
    Messages:
    912
    Likes Received:
    3
    You're putting too much relevance on the word itself, rather than the meaning behind it. For what it's worth, I don't know what it is, and I always wonder how such a loosely defined word mean so much to people. But, hey, that's just me.
     
  4. lordofhats
    Offline

    lordofhats Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    The Hat Cave
    As another member pointed out in another thread like this one. "Love is patient, love is kind." ~ 1st Corinthians 13:4.

    I see no need for further specifics. That sums up about as general a definition as you'll get on the term. Like Cogito said. it can be so many things it's limiting to delve to deep into specifics. It's meanings are to broad.
     
  5. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
  6. Palimpsest
    Offline

    Palimpsest Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2008
    Messages:
    147
    Likes Received:
    5
    Oh, no! The experience is what makes the definition hard. "What is love?" becomes more like a koan: "What is mu?" and not something you can answer verbally.

    It's patient, and it can't wait. It's kind, but it hurts -- that stupid feeling in your stomach from a chemical high you can't resist. You can resist it, for it's choice and action (not chemicals) and it does no harm as a rule. No, that's obligation-- you need to feel the natural high, of affection. No, the high would be confusing it with obsession-- it doesn't just sit in your heart like a stone, it needs to be made daily like bread. Left up to "feelings", it means nothing. Left up to actions, it means nothing. It's work, it's effortless. It's holding on no matter what, it's also setting each other free. It's surrender and worship, no, it's equality and respect.
    Some people confuse it with obligation, obsession, affection... but then who's to say it isn't.

    It's very simple, really. ;)


    Referring to your whole blog entry, can I just say I'm so glad you found people who can confuse you for the better. People like that are awesome!
     
  7. Speedy
    Offline

    Speedy Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2008
    Messages:
    4,866
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Australia
    Love is something you feel, it can only be expresse between the two people, it just is.

    I guess this would mean the term would be meant differently between each couple.

    The term love is just the dumbed down version of what cant be explained ;) (cause i most certainly know whay it is, but i know it can never express what i feel).
     
  8. lessa
    Offline

    lessa Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,917
    Likes Received:
    27
    Location:
    Fantasy land
    there are too many types of love to put one definition.
    mother's love
    wifely love
    pet love
    love of food
    just to name a few.
    love also changes from day to day
    and from situation to situation.
    love can make you feel wonderful
    it can also make you feel helpless,
    scared, miserable.
    It can be reciprocated or abandoned.
    It is also different with every person.
     
  9. NaCl
    Offline

    NaCl Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    1,855
    Likes Received:
    58
    Love can't be defined because it constantly changes. The "love" that led to my marriage is not the same "love" many years later. When my dad died, I discovered a kind of love for him that I did not even know I had. I grew up afraid of him. He was tough and demanding, even after his accident left him with two crushed legs. I became hardened and cold as I went to high school during the day and worked in a chemical plating factory at night to support my, rather, his family. When I left for Vietnam, he tried to hug me goodbye - that seemed very odd to me. I pushed him away and told him "I hate your f'ing ass. I hope I never see you again." Six months later, I woke up in a field hospital after sappers got through the wire at a forward firebase and dad was the only person I wanted to talk to. When we talked, he told me how proud he was of me . . . first compliment he ever gave me. It should have meant nothing, but coming from him, it meant everything. In the end, it was the toughness I learned from him that saved my life in Nam. Thanks Dad, I miss you.
     
  10. lessa
    Offline

    lessa Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,917
    Likes Received:
    27
    Location:
    Fantasy land
    I am sitting here crying. WHY?
    because the cat I loved like a child is now buried
    in her favourite spot in the back yard.
    I loved her enough to let her go to sleep because
    she was in enough pain all day to make her cry.
    She was my baby for 23 years and I will miss the
    love she gave my entire family.
    That is a love that non-cat people will never know
    and I can't explain.
    Naci is correct. Love changes constantly so is not really describable.
     
  11. The Freshmaker
    Offline

    The Freshmaker <insert obscure pop culture reference> Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,784
    Likes Received:
    79
    Location:
    St. Petersburg, FL
    23 years? Wow. That's a really long time to have a cat.

    I'm sorry for your loss.
     
  12. Louisos
    Offline

    Louisos Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2008
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Southwest England

    Love is an individual experience, not -in my mind- an experience betwen couples. I think most people in a relationship wil feel for their partner in a different way to the way that their partner feels for them. I know my girlfriend does not love me as much as I love her, for example, but she still loves me and I love her, but it is not the same love.
     
  13. Speedy
    Offline

    Speedy Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2008
    Messages:
    4,866
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Australia
    I was actually a bit tippsy when i typed that

    But, i hear what your saying about not being on the same level in a relationship. But ours, we are completely. That might sound like "yeah, but how, do you know" and all i can say is... it just is, we both feel it and battle each ither with "i love you more" BS (weell its not BS, but you know wha i mean!),
     
  14. Louisos
    Offline

    Louisos Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2008
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Southwest England
    Yeah we do that too :)
    But I still do not believe her and I to be on a par.
     
  15. Speedy
    Offline

    Speedy Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2008
    Messages:
    4,866
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Australia
    Thats cool, i understand. Its a thing you feel, if you dont, then you'd be right than
    If the world was all on that kind of level, it would be....most likely screwed up.
     
  16. Torana
    Offline

    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    9,659
    Likes Received:
    128
    I just accept that it is a very powerful feeling/emotion, that just simply can not be explained or defined.

    I think once we are able to, it won't hold that beauty and wonder any more. We try too hard to understand everything, to know everything, to explore everything, and we forget to step back, and just enjoy something, we forget to enjoy life! Usually by the time we remember to enjoy things, we have already lost them...
     
  17. Nilfiry
    Offline

    Nilfiry Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2008
    Messages:
    670
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Eternal Stream
    Love is desire.
     
  18. Eoz Eanj
    Offline

    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Messages:
    2,208
    Likes Received:
    41
    L is for the way you look at me
    O is for the only one I see
    V is very, very extraordinary
    E is even more than anyone that you adore can

    Love is all that I can give to you
    Love is more than just a game for two
    Two in love can make it
    Take my heart and please don't break it
    Love was made for me and you

    <trumpet instrumental>

    L is for the way you look at me
    O is for the only one I see
    V is very, very extraordinary
    E is even more than anyone that you adore can

    Love is all that I can give to you
    Love is more than just a game for two
    Two in love can make it
    Take my heart and please don't break it
    Love was made for me and you
    Love was made for me and you
    Love was made for me and you


    Sorry, couldn't help it
     

Share This Page