1. Retrograde
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    Retrograde New Member

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    Describing What A Character Sees

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Retrograde, Apr 25, 2016.

    So, I was in the middle of my writing and I was trying to describe what one of my characters was seeing/looking at while he was laying down and looking up at the sky. When he's laying down there are mountains "above him" (meaning his head is toward the mountains) and a valley "below" him. How do I describe that he can see the mountains before seeing the expanse of the sky with all of the stars, etc. My initial thought was, "At the top of his vision..." but it just sounded odd. Any ideas?
     
  2. Feo Takahari
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    Feo Takahari Active Member

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    Mountains and stars lend themselves to being florid, so I'd go all in. Something about how the mountains look like stalactites hanging down above a cave of glimmering lights . . .

    Then again, that might not be anywhere near your style.
     
  3. Retrograde
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    Retrograde New Member

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    Thank you! That helped a lot actually. Here is how it turned out:

    Bozhaan laid back, rested his head on a wool sheepskin, stretched out his legs, and looked up at the night sky. The peaks of the White Mountains hung softly in his view, like rocks clinging on the roof of a cave over a dark sky of glistening lights. He could see the wind blowing snow off the tall peaks of the mountains, which glimmered in a yellowish, orange color in the light of the full moon, making it look as though several swarms of fireflies were brushing past the rocky summits and into the night sky.
     

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