1. Chiv
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    Chiv Active Member

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    Description That You Are Most Proud Of

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Chiv, Aug 21, 2014.

    Not sure if there's already a similar thread, but I had a look and couldn't find one.

    So, is there a description that you've ever written that you just absolutely love, and think it's brilliant? Is it one of the things you are most proud of as a writer? Then share it here! That way we can all learn from each other and improve.

    So the reason I created this thread is because I really want to share a paragraph I just wrote, and would love to see some of everyones awesome descriptions! So here's mine.

    "The street was a living hell. The conflagration had spread across several houses, unchecked by the ferocious storm. The light of the flames eerily illuminated the otherwise dark street. The crack of splitting wood accompanied the collapsing of the burning houses, and the boom of thunder could be heard through the rain. While the downpour was heavy enough to cause a flood, it appeared to have no effect on the holocaust that surrounded him."
     
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  2. Foxe
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    Foxe Active Member

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    I like the idea of this post!

    This is the second paragraph of a (long) short story I'm working on, and it has a noticeably different pace and description style than the rest of the story because it condenses what could be a whole scene with dialogue into a quick description. I've noticed and appreciated that some books would describe a scene and its dialogue (what comes to mind are some short stories of James Joyce's Dubliners) rather than play out out the dialogue, so I went for that style here.

    "Earlier that week, John Scrivens, his coworker and friend at the Department, had invited Eliot to a meeting of what he referred to as a group of likeminded individuals. Eliot had no idea what that meant, and told John that he wasn’t comfortable by the sound of it. But his apprehensions were met with jovial instance, despite hardly clarifying the nature of the meeting. He begrudgingly agreed to attend one meeting, on the condition that he would not be obligated to do anything he didn’t want to do. John assured him that nothing of that sort would occur, and that he would certainly find a lot in common with the members. He insisted, however, that Eliot should not tell anyone where he was going, and to be mindful of anyone following him."
     
  3. cutecat22
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    cutecat22 The Strange One Contributor

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    Hmmm. Not sure about description but I was pretty proud of the following snippet of dialogue:

    "Do you think we will always be this happy?"
    "Only fairy tales have happy endings."
    "Then let's make sure this never ends."

    I'm also quite proud of part of a piece of dialogue which now appears on a mug, and that part is:

    "I know you use Cherry Coke lip balm, I get a taste every time I kiss you."
     
  4. Chiv
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    Chiv Active Member

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    Nice! That's great dialogue. It reminds me of a quote by Stephen King about happy endings :D I'll find it later.
     
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