1. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    Description

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Garball, Jun 13, 2014.

    I have a monster in one of my stories that I am trying to describe. When I describe the monster's face in my mind:
    It's face looks like somebody dunked a kangaroo's head in acid and pulled its ears back taut and its teeth are like those of a Goliath tiger fish.

    I know this description works for me, but not for readers, at least those who are unfamiliar with tiger fish. How descriptive do you get before you detract from the reader's imagination and start forcing them to see what you see?

    Not actual examples, but examples none the less
    Long, pointed teeth
    Yellowed conical teeth designed for piercing and ripping flesh
    Razor sharp, interlocking fangs so long they bore holes in the opposing jaw
    Pointed enamel, interlocking fangs about two inches in length curved slightly backwards to keep victims from escaping
    or
    Teeth like a tigerfish?

    Teeth in question, in case you're interested:
    [​IMG]
     
  2. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Ah, the infamous Nope Fish from the I Will Never Go There River in Fuckthatistan. ;)

    I personally try not to go too descriptive in something that should be as emotive as what you are describing. I would reach for emotive or visceral impression more than exact description.
     
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  3. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    It sounds like you are talking about a Tazmanian devil that has been dipped in acid.
     
  4. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    I think that this might be one of my problems when describing things. I tell in list form what I am seeing instead of feeling; probably because what I am imagining is evoking my emotion.

    This monster lowers himself in front of your face. You can see bits of your sister still caught between its teeth and the coppery aroma of blood lingers on its breath.

    Still, you need to know what it looks like...
     
  5. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Have you ever seen the show Amazing Stories? The one where the family was held prisoner by the child who when he wished something to happen it would come true? Well he wished for a rabbit to act like the Tasmanian devil and it was real creepy looking. I can find a picture but that reminds me of what you are talking about.
     
  6. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    I thought that was part of The Twilight Zone, The Movie
     
  7. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Damn I get those mixed up!
     
  8. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     

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