1. Kathryn Donahue
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    Kathryn Donahue Member

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    Descriptive Help

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Kathryn Donahue, Feb 29, 2016.

    Hello! I'm trying to describe the action a character would make for adjusting a suit. It's for a rather pompous character so I envisioned him grabbing the lapels of his suit of fluffing it out. Unfortunately it just doesn't seem to fit. Something like the picture but more of a fluid motion. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. [​IMG]
     
  2. Wayjor Frippery
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    Wayjor Frippery Contributing Member

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    How about something like:

    He twitched a lapel and worried a cuff like a peacock preening it's feathers.

    Maybe the simile is overkill. I just had in mind that you said he was pompous.
     
  3. Kathryn Donahue
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    I like it but it is a little...flowery. I do like the use of peacock though. I honestly didn't think about that.
     
  4. Wayjor Frippery
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    Wayjor Frippery Contributing Member

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    Something more masculine perhaps?

    He grabbed his lapels and yanked the jacket flat against his chest, chin jutting forward like a boxer ready to fight.

    Again, the simile isn't necessary. You could end the sentence at the word chest if you just want to describe the action.
     
  5. Kathryn Donahue
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    Kathryn Donahue Member

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    Oooh. I really like that. That might work. Thank you!
     
  6. Wayjor Frippery
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    Wayjor Frippery Contributing Member

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    Glad I could help! :)
     
  7. Sack-a-Doo!
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    Go to a high-end clothing store and get permission to hang around while people try on suits. Make notes.

    If that doesn't work, watch films about rich people from the 1930's and 1940's. There was a fair amount of suit-fluffing going on back then.
     
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  8. Laura Elisabeth
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    Laura Elisabeth Member

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    I like all of the ones that you've had suggested. Could you use something like, his hands commanded the suit pull tighter around his body.

    Just a suggestion!
     
  9. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Definitely too purple. :p
     
  10. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Or you could just look at Youtube videos of men trying on suits.
     
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  11. Wayjor Frippery
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    Wayjor Frippery Contributing Member

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    Nah, you must be colourblind. Peacocks are mostly blue. :p
     
  12. Jeni
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    Jeni Member

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    His thumbs slid down the length of his lapel and gave a little snap at the bottom. This was one fine suit!
     
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