1. Nadnight258
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    Nadnight258 New Member

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    Descriptive writing feedback?

    Discussion in 'Setting Development' started by Nadnight258, Jul 30, 2015.

    I loved writing as a kid so have decided to give it a go. I started with a prompt and wrote a short descriptive piece. This is my first attempt so I'm looking for as many points of improvement as possible :) (it may be a little rambly- I do that a lot in real life)

    Prompt- 'nobody spoke for the duration of the journey until we suddenly stopped abruptly. Before us was scenery with only a single building in the distance'

    She was silent through the entire journey. We drove through countless winding streets, each one practically identical to the next, revealing as little information as to where we were headed as her deep, brooding expression. As steel clouds gathered overhead, the number of buildings flashing by dwindled until, finally, we reached a halt. Gazing around, my irritation vanished to be replaced by a feeling both sombre and a little unsettling. Surrounding us was wilderness for as far as the eye could see. The ground was a dense mesh of decaying matter and broken branches, dying shrubbery and gossamer cloaked bracken; foreboding hills erupted through the graveyard of fauna, littered with skeletons of oak and birch. In the early November gloom, wherever life had bloomed in the summer was now ablaze with rust and vermilion, a wildfire spread beneath an angry, bruised sky. Taking in the scenery in all it's sepulchral beauty, it was easy to overlook what I could only presume was our intended destination- a run down wooden shack, half devoured by an entanglement of ivy way off in the distance.

    Is sepulchral the right word, or would haunting or melancholy be a better fit?
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2015
  2. AspiringNovelist
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    AspiringNovelist Contributing Member

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