I'm sad. And angry. And a bit fearful of becoming bitter. I'm ill. I never get well. And it is dehibilatating. I can keep fighting, for every scap of life quilty I want but no amonth if fighting will just make it go away. I can be acive a few hours a day, and activs counted as well, walking my dog, or cooking, painting or writing. I can see people even less. And beomes so tired i just collapses after i done anything. Every once I can get myself a few days of activity, even a week, hbut then enjoying a weeks or even months long backlash. I'll probaly never hold a fulltime job, or even a real job. On other hand I'm a extemly intelligent girl, from a stable family, social, creative, charming, goodlooking, education etc. I got a lot to be grateful for. But somehow it almost make it worse. Having a lot of understimulated untapped potencial. Right now I just sort of feel like standing on a montaintop, shouting to all the healty people in the world to do all the sort of stuff Im missing out on. Go to all the colledge couses i been missing out on this last year. Get an awesome job. Make money. Travel! Hang out with your friends! Play music! Train martial arts! Hang out at the local animal club! Do stuff! Do stuff people! I envy you and would kill for the oppertunity!