1. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Do you think this is a fulfilling life?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Link the Writer, Feb 25, 2011.

    This is my goal for when I get out of college:

    1) Go to Graduate school and learn to be a librarian.

    2) Be a librarian.

    3) Live in an apartment complex.

    As I think about it, my life basically would go like this: I wake up, go to work, work, go home, and play videogames. Rinse and repeat.

    Now, playing videogames give me pleasure, so it should be a nice life, right?

    Except I don't think that's a fulfilling one. :( I mean, can you imagine what they'll say at my funeral?

    "Rest in peace, John. Librarian and gamer on the side."

    I mean, that's not what I want people to remember me by!

    Now, don't get me wrong, I'll do things other than gaming on weekends and evenings. I'll watch TV, read a book, etc.

    Still, I think I want to have other things in my life as well, like volunteering. I considered volunteering for an animal rescue shelter (with a no-kill policy).

    But what if that's not enough? I don't want to live like a hermit in my apartment, only coming out to go to work.

    What should I do? Am I just worrying too much? Looking too far into the future? If you have other ideas about what I could volunteer for, share. :)

    EDIT: I also wanted to include that I'm severely hearing impaired and sleep like the dead. What if something happened to the apartment complex like it caught on fire? I wouldn't be able to hear it (much less wake up) in order to escape.
     
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  2. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Dude, do what makes you happy. If you don't want a Goliath-sized lawn to mow and a mortgage to weigh you down, don't buy a house. Marraige and kids aren't for everybody. Some people are more introverted than others. I myself woudn't be happy without a crew of friends and a party to go to on the weekends after a challenging week of work, but that's only me - to each his own.

    If something makes you happy and content with your life, go with it. Don't ask people on a message board if it's fulfilling enough - who cares? ;)
     
  3. Agreen
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    Agreen Faceless Man Contributor

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    The meaning of life is to give life meaning. If that's what you personally value, what excites and fulfills you, then what place does anyone else have trying to put you off it?
     
  4. Pallas
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    Pallas Contributing Member Contributor

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    Yeah man, you are way over thinking it. I know it may be a be a bit of a cold realization but plans hardly work out as intended especially the career and living plan ones. Day by day is what I do. Further what you describe sounds quite good, very good in fact, a nice normal life that many go with out.

    As for volunteering, I am thinking of volunteering at an animal shelter as well, but usually I volunteer to feed and tutor the homeless and under-served.
     
  5. Annûniel
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    Annûniel Contributing Member Contributor

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    To each their own. Nothing sounds particularly fulfilling when you boil it down like that really. There's nothing wrong with doing what you love and love what you're doing! If you can find work that you love to do (librarian), then that in itself is an achievement! So few people get to make that dream a reality.

    My life wouldn't be fulfilling without writing. It took me nearly 25 years to figure that out though. Though I would love to get published, but it isn't necessary for me to feel fulfilled. My funeral wouldn't be much better than yours in that case: "Here lies Annuniel. Never published writer." But as writing is fulfilling for me, I'm not too bothered by what people think after I'm gone.

    I'm sure you can petition to get a trained dog. The dog would be trained to jump on you or something in order to wake you up in case of a fire alarm. I think you can also look into getting a strobe light type alarm system put in. I'm not to sure about that option though.

    Or you could just have a roommate (cuts down on housing costs too!) and have him/her wake you up.
     
  6. Trilby
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    Trilby Contributing Member Contributor

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    Try to enjoy the here and now, as it is happening. If you are always looking to the future or living in the past, you may miss out on the present. imo
     
  7. Forkfoot
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    Forkfoot Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't see a woman anywhere in your equation. What gives?
     
  8. LordKyleOfEarth
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    LordKyleOfEarth Contributing Member Contributor

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    My fiancée is a librarian. Dying field man. She tells me "It's not dying, it's changing". I counter that it, like all literary fields, is changing... into a corpse.

    Still, do what you love. I'm studying to be a writer, and we are even more obsolete than librarians.
     
  9. Holden
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    Holden Senior Member

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    Take each moment as it comes to you. Make spontaneous travel plans, visit relatives and friends on a whim (although you may get kicked to the curb ;)), or help someone out without being promted. Anything to rid yourself of the monotony that often occurs when one "settles down" and falls into the daily cycle of work and leisure.
     
  10. Porcupine
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    Porcupine Contributing Member

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    You've hit it right on the head. Is that what you want? Well, is it? What do you want? Well, go out and do it!

    Hearing impairment is no excuse these days. There's plenty of electronic aids that can cope with that, some allow you to hear even better than people who have never had any issues.

    Doctors told my mother I'd never survive past the first six months. Doctors later told me that I would be basically immobilized by my mid-twenties due to back problems, and I was the worst in my class in school sports. Does that square with me jumping out of a helicopter in the middle of the night together with NATO special forces and dragging myself around alpine mountains with 40kg of stuff for three days on a (training, admittedly) mission to blow up a telecommunications mast? No, it doesn't. But it's something I wanted to do, and I did it. It's just one example, nice because it is so paradoxical.

    I've come down the road of life simply by going where I wanted to go, following my dreams and aspirations. This doesn't mean I have progressed in a straight line, not at all. I have found out that many of my childhood dreams look different in real life, that not all ambitions can be realized, that you have to be philosophical about setbacks, and ready to sacrifice one dream for another when you come to a crossroads without looking back later and pondering on 'what might have been'.

    If you're not sure what it is you really want, choose a course that still leaves you lots of options. Diversify, look into different fields, don't go up a narrow alley which you eventually discover was actually a dead end.

    My advice to you right now is: go to university, and study something that has broad applications and no shortage of jobs. Natural science, engineering and business are all good candidates, although I admit to being a bit biased in that direction.

    Aye to the first sentance. You will always be better doing what you love than doing what somebody forced you to do, and considerably happier. As for the second sentance: I would disagree. People who are skilled in dealing with the written word are needed everywhere, and I would be extremely surprised if the amount of text written per hour has ever declined from year to year.
     
  11. w176
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    w176 Contributing Member Contributor

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    There nothing wrong with you goals, simple achievable goals rock. You don't need fantastic goals for a fantastic life.

    Another way to find a fulfilling path in life, is just to make the most of the opportunities you encounter. You will meet fascinating people, you will have the chance to learn amazing stuff, you will be able to go places, etc.

    You can keep with you simple goals, as long as you willing to embrace with whatever more life trows into your path.
     
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  12. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Porcupine, wow. Go you.
     
  13. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    :p:D:confused::rolleyes: OK I feel like a really old comedian I am trying so hard to not respond with a bad taste joke about librarians.

    Anyway Link - life is as fulfilling as you make it, if that is what you want do it.
     
  14. Eunoia
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    Eunoia Contributing Member Contributor

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    I have a similar plan. I want to either become a librarian or work in a bookshop ideally, I'd just like to be surrounded by books. :p

    Anyway, it's really up to you. Do what you want to do. Don't feel you should be doing something, or living your life a certain way - live it how you want to. I know it's easier said than done, but as long as it makes you happy then why not?

    As for volunteering, there are a variety of opportunities. I'd recommend getting in touch with your local volunteering centre (if you have one) and they can help you.
     
  15. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Thanks for the responses.

    I guess there's really nothing wrong with being a librarian who plays videogames on the side. If that's my idea of a perfect life, then I should strive to get it.

    I think I've always confused that with the cliche of videogamer in mama's basement.
     
  16. Quorum1
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    Quorum1 Member

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    Life has a way of not turning out the way you plan it! Just take it as it comes and do what makes you happy :) Defiantely stop contemplating how you might die in an apartment fire though... :p
     
  17. Sidewinder
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    Sidewinder Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, no. It's not a fulfilling life. If you're asking the question then the answer is no. This is an issue that's bothering you, am I wrong? Seems like you want something a little more.

    There's nothing wrong with being a librarian, but maybe video games are taking up too much of your time. I used to play A LOT of video games. It took several years before I realized I was wasting a huge amount of time. While they do provide you with some short term satisfaction, they really aren't a way to long-term happiness. I had to sell my PS3 and all of my games just so I wouldn't waste so much time on them. I wasn't getting anything. You don't necessarily have to give them up completely, but just understand the place they should have in your life. If you're planning your life and future around them, then something is wrong.

    It sounds like the goals you're setting are chosen primarily because you know they are realistic outcomes to achieve. Are you wary of setting the bar higher? Here's a tip about goals from a self-help book I'm co-authoring: make them process dependent instead of outcome dependent. That way you don't waste time beating yourself up if you don't get the results you want right away. You can set the bar a little higher if instead of saying, "I'm going to write a bestselling novel" you just say, "I'm going to write a novel." Or better yet: "I'm going to work on my novel every day." The anxiety of living up to the achievement can be daunting, so we actually do our best when we don't care about the outcome as much as the process. Another example of a process dependent goal would be something like you said -- volunteering for an animal shelter. Work at things that you know you have control over and you will achieve your greatest potential.
     
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  18. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    I guess the bottom line is that I'm peering way too far into the future. I'm just a college student, aged 22. I should try and re-focus it to the here and now where it belongs.

    It's difficult though.

    As for the dying in an apartment fire? Heh, don't get me started on the other stuff I feared. I'm naturally anxious, so my mind constantly thinks up "what ifs". XD
     
  19. Speedy
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    Speedy Contributing Member Contributor

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    Everyone will have different opinions/levels of fulfilment, so you can't really ask us if it is.

    You can map part of your life out, but most of it you can't. And the part's you cant are usually the best parts. Just live, laugh and have fun. That's all that matters.
     
  20. Ashleigh
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    Ashleigh Contributing Member Contributor

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    It sounds to me like you're totally not satisfied with the goals you've set for yourself.

    Why aren't you looking for a partner? I know it's not standard for everyone, and you certainly don't need to be in a relationship to feel complete, but life can be more fulfilling when you have someone to share it with. Maybe you just need to get yourself a girlfriend. :rolleyes:

    Otherwise, think of all the amazing things you'd love to do in your lifetime. Don't think about what's possible, or what you're confident enough to do, or whether you can afford it, or whether you're the type of person who gets to experience it, or any of that crap. Just set yourself the greatest goals you can imagine and set out to get as close to experiencing them as possible. Don't underestimate yourself; you can do anything you set your mind to.
    Imagine all the things you could do if you were brave enough to just get up one day and decide you were gonna do them, regardless of any setbacks you have?

    You could be a librarian who loves to volunteer for charity. You could be the nerdy gamer who also happens to love skiing. Maybe you wanna go travelling, or plunge yourself into sending out that novel you've had sitting around.

    The people who live the most exciting lives are the ones who don't take no for an answer. Demand excitement. You only live once.
     
  21. Mercurial
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    Mercurial Contributing Member Contributor

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    I have to echo Ashleigh. If you aren't satisfied with the goals you've set for yourself, it's as simple as making the decision to change them. If you think you'll be happy working as a librarian, volunteering for animal shelters, and video gaming, then enjoy that and know that you are happy with your choice. If you don't think that's enough, keep searching.

    My only suggestion for you might be, is if you are questioning whether this is the right path for you, then explore others. Don't change your life goals just because you think there might be something better. Take chances. You're in college and there are so many opportunities for you to seize. --Go to parties you wouldn't normally attend. Show up to call-out meetings for clubs you don't know much about. Study abroad if you have the finances and the time. Take a class you know little about for an elective (you can always drop if it turns out horribly! :D ). Walk up to someone sitting alone at the food court and say hello. (Or, if that's awkward, ask them if they're in one of your classes, and what was the reading for tomorrow again? When they say they aren't taking that class, just take the opportunity to say hi.

    At the cost of university tuition in America and given the economy presently, college of course is not so much about "discovering yourself" as it is "job training" these days, but that doesn't mean you cant do all of those things I just listed right now.

    You definitely sound like you need to reflect, and that is a good thing. It's important to reassess your goals and values and beliefs regularly, I think, because they change just like you do. So I will think good thoughts that you sort your opinions and values and questions out soon. And I sincerely do believe that wherever life takes you, you will do the best with what you have, and that's all you can ever really do. :love:

    Do what makes you happy. Take risks so you can find more things that make you happy. Be a good man. :love:
     
  22. Silver_Dragon
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    Silver_Dragon Senior Member

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    I agree. Nothing's ever set in stone. Most people make a few career changes in a lifetime, and you can always involve yourself in new social activities if you don't find the ones you've chosen fulfilling.
     
  23. Corbyn
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    Corbyn Lost in my own head Contributor

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    I never intended for myself what my life has become. I don't think anyone does, despite the best laid plans for a persons future. I can say that based on personal experience you don't want to find yourself doing something that isn't going to fully support you or any possible family you have. I work two jobs and am in college just to make ends meat. The problem with that is, that is HOW you become a hermit. I go to work and then come home to sleep with little in between. Life's funny that way, just make sure you plan to give yourself some room so that you have options, don't let yourself get boxed in and you'll be fine. Most of all.... remember to enjoy yourself... you only get one go at things (or so I've been told).
     
  24. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Link, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you do with your life, as long as you enjoy what you are doing. Live your life how you want to live it, not how you think people would want you to live.
     

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