1. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Does this idea hold together logically?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Ryan Elder, Jul 14, 2015.

    For my story, there is a gang of criminals, and one of them has a crisis of conscience and wants out. He doesn't go home and hides from home for a few weeks while other plot sections unfold. The gang calls him though and tells him in order to get out that he will have to do something horribly felonious for them so they can have collateral over him. Possibly he may have to kill someone.

    Later, another character, let's call him the cop since he is one, gets too close to the gang and the gang has to deal with him, before they are busted. They call the gang member who wants out and tell him that if he kills the cop for them, he's out.

    The gang member rushes their to do so, but it's just a ruse since he has morals now. He is also compelled to save the cop. The cop becomes aware that this gang member is assigned to kill him in order to get out. The gang member gets there and the cop temporarily escapes. In the midst of a gunbattle the gang member is struck by one of the bullets, in the face, and dies.

    The cop then maims the gang members face even further to the point where he is not recognizable and switches clothes with him. He also takes the gang member's mask and puts it on. The rest of the gang arrives and sees the gang member dead but think it's the cop, since his face is destroyed and he is wearing the cop's clothes. They see that the actual cop is wearing the gang member's mask and clothes, so they think it's the gang member. Since he did his job, they let him go.

    So far a couple of reader's had no problem with it, but another couple didn't buy that a gang would assign one of their own to kill a cop in order to get out. They just said that logically if they didn't want their gang member to do get out, since it's a risk of not being able to trust him, they would just kill him, instead of offering him an ultimatum. Why wait till someone has to be killed when you can just kill the cop? Basically I figured that one murder is better for two, since it's double the risk of being caught if you do it twice.

    But what do you think? Is this idea realistic or logical? Thanks for the input :).
     
  2. AgentBen
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    AgentBen Member

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    If they are good friends with the person who wants out, even if they didn't respect the decision I doubt they would want to kill a friend.
     
  3. croak3r
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    croak3r Member

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    I dont think it's plausible for a cop to disfigure the body and to swap his clothes, it just doesnt seem like something a cop would do. I also think that if the guy is having a crisis of conscience then he wouldnt go along with killing the cop.
     
  4. Lyrical
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    Lyrical Frumious Bandersnatch

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    I don't see a huge problem with it, except that I agree with croak3r that I don't think a cop would disfigure a body - unless he's gone bad. Maybe you could still have the moral gang member shot in the face, but do some research to see what kind of gun at what kind of range would be able to disfigure a face beyond the point of recognition. That way the cop doesn't have to do it - he just sees the opportunity. Might not be pleasant research though. Also, how does he have time to do this? Is it still in the middle of the gun fight? Do the gang members not go check to see who died after its over?
     
  5. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Okay thanks. The reason why the gang member agrees to kill the cop is cause he actually wants to save the cop, and not let him die. But the gang member dies of course and the cop makes it out. As for the cop disfiguring him, the character is written so he accepts desperate situations for what they are and has been on that side of the fence, where he is forced to do something to survive, even though it's bad.

    I could write it so that the gang member is disfigured so bad he is beyond regnogition, but the gang members are using hand guns for concealment, and I don't know if any handgun can do that. I mean these are civilian handguns and not military grade weapons they have. I also feel that if the face is destroyed beyond recgognition by the gunshot, it may come off as too convenient, as if the cop's work is done. But maybe not.

    Yes it will be tricky to write it so he has time to do it in the middle of a fight.

    However, aside from those points, the biggest criticism from other readers is that the fact that they would let one of their own go, if he wants out. I was told by other readers that they would kill him and not let him go, just because he kills someone else.

    The gang sees that a dead body, but think it's the cop since the face is blown away, and the clothes have been switched. So they only assume it's the cop by looking, if that's plausible.

    But is it possible for it to be believable that they would just let one of their own members go, just because they were willing to perform a murder to get out? Something like this happens in the TV show Gotham.

    In season 1 episode 1, the mafia wants Gordon to kill someone in order to prove he can be trusted. They don't kill Gordon, they actually have him kill someone, shows he can be trusted, and then let him go. So is it possible to write it in a way that's believable, like this, in my scenario?
     
  6. Daemon Wolf
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    Daemon Wolf Active Member

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    Just a loop hole I found. If the Cop shoots the Gang Member in the face than the mask would be destroyed or at least have a bullet in it (depending on the material).
     
  7. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm not clear on the purpose of this whole plot sequence.
     
  8. JadeX
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    JadeX Active Member

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    Why must it be a gunshot that destroys the face? Where does this gunfight take place? Perhaps there are some other elements of the environment that you can use to your creative advantage, instead of just taking the shortest step from A to B.

    For example, if the gunfight occurs in the street or another area where cars are driven, consider this - perhaps one of the gang members tries to escape in a heavy van or truck (like the kind that has the dual sets of rear tires), and the driver of the vehicle is injured/distracted/possibly killed/whatever, causing the vehicle to run over the "moral" gang member and the aforementioned dual tires crush his skull like a egg.

    Take a look around at different objects that are present in different real-life environments and think of ways that things can fall, move, or otherwise become a mortal danger.
     
  9. theoriginalmonsterman
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    theoriginalmonsterman Pickle Contest Administrator Contributor

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    Seems a bit random, but it definitely makes the story interesting. Perhaps instead of making him get shot in the face maybe the cop and gang member just look alike and they can't tell because it's dim where the cop is.
     

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