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  1. Calum
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    Calum New Member

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    Does this make sense?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Calum, Sep 25, 2011.

    "A half moon hung in the sky like a baroque pearl, throwing the world into a silver lambency..."

    Mainly the silver lambency part.
     
  2. DBTate
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    DBTate Senior Member

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    This will need to be posted in The Writing Workshop, as you are requesting feedback on your writing. However, seeings as how this is your first post, you would not have met the requirements for posting in The Writing Workshop.

    I recommend critiquing other people's work, meeting the necessary requirements for posting your own, and then asking this question again in The Writing Workshop.

    There will be plenty of people happy to help you, myself included, if you are happy to help others.

    Regards,

    David.
     
  3. Calum
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    Calum New Member

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    That's cool, and I'd be happy to help people, but I'd really appreciate some feedback. I'm writing for a dead line. Sorry.
     
  4. digitig
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    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's not really a request for critique: it's asking about a specific writing point, which should be fine here. And the answer is yes, "throwing the world into silver lambency" does make sense. Some will think it a bit overblown, but that really depends on the genre you are writing.
     
  5. Jhunter
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    Jhunter Mmm, bacon. Contributor

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    It makes sense, it just seems a little pretentious to me. I wouldn't use it personally.
     
  6. Yoshiko
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    Yoshiko Contributing Member Contributor

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    This was my immediate thought.
     
  7. Jhunter
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    Jhunter Mmm, bacon. Contributor

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    To further clarify on my comment, there is a fine line between creative and pretentious. Finding that balance can be rough.
     
  8. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    It is a critique request, albeit for a very tiny fragment. There is no specific "point" of writing being questioned other than the quality of the wording.
     
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