1. adrenaline7
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    adrenaline7 Member

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    Does this seem a bit far-fetched?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by adrenaline7, Nov 16, 2011.

    I'm writing a novelette/novella but I've having some plot issues. This is the synopsis of the story:

    USSR, 1963, a self-trained pilot and forge worker is given the chance to go into space to fix a top-secret satellite orbiting Earth by the KGB and "Design Bureau". However, due to events from his past (his brothers tried to revolt against the previous government, ending in a fatal riot and leaving the family name stained), he develops an incredibly low self-esteem. Society shuns him and treats with disrespect. Even his girlfriend decides to leave him. He realises he has to change and fully commits to the secret mission, leaving his old life and living in secrecy. He struggles through training and contemplates giving up, but after meeting his hero, he pushes on and exceeds everyones expectations. (I might need to add more sub-plots from here, such as a possible love-interest, a rival pilot who also wants to do the mission, meeting a character from his old life, or the protagonist almost finding out the truth.) The protagonist finally goes into space, but problems occur with his equipment and cannot continue with the mission. However, he discovers that the equipment failure was planned, and tries to comprehend his situation. He decideds to record a message and hide it in either the space capsule or the satellite (which he inadvertently reaches after leaving the capsule). He then submits to his fate and dies in space. There is also an epilogue.

    So, my issue: does it seem a bit far-fetched that a whole KGB department and "Design Bureau" would convince a civilian to go into space, just to leave him there to die because they believe he was a threat to the government? I mean, there are still current members of the KGB that were in the previous government who would be calling the shots, but would people find this believable? I know the USSR did this (minus the threat to the government) with Laika, the first dog in space, but would people really think they would do this to a human?

    Also, any more suggestions I could include for a sub-plot for halfway through the story? The ending will stay as it is, though.
     
  2. Dusk
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    Dusk Member

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    oh, I've got an idea! Maybe the sattelite really is in need of a fixing, so they use him to go up there and fix it, and then deactivate his equipment, so that way the gov. gets to kill two birds with one stone. Fix their sattelite, and kill the brother of a rebel. Just a thought, hope it helps. And if this is already what you meant to say, then sorry about that, I have trouble understanding plots sometimes. Not your fault. And if it IS what you meant to say, then yes, I find it believable and not at all far fetched
     
  3. muscle979
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    muscle979 Member

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    That's probably a little far fetched. I would think they would just take him somewhere and shoot him. Or maybe leave him out in Siberia somewhere to die. That's just as effective and a whole lot less expensive than sending somebody into space. You would need a strong explanation as to why the KGB would want him to die looking like a hero. From your summary it doesn't look like they would need him to go out as a hero at all.
     
  4. adrenaline7
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    adrenaline7 Member

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    Yeah. That was what I already had planned, but thanks anyway.

    I thought about that. The reason they don't just kill him is that they're just keeping an eye on him for now, as he hasn't done anything wrong. His only association with the riots were that his brothers were apart of it; he has no interest in politics. Still, like Dusk stated, they'd be hitting two birds by sending him to fix the broken satellite and leaving him there. As for him dying looking like a hero, how do you mean? The mission is top secret, so regardless of is he was to make it back home, the protagonist would never get recognition. His only goal was to go into space, and whether or not he accomplished the mission was not his concern. There are some fine points of the story I didn't include in the summary. But thanks for the input. Nice to see the other end of the spectrum.

    I admit, I'll need to iron out a few creases, but all will be explained thoughout the story when I actually finish writing it.
     
  5. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    I can understand that initially they want to keep an eye on him and not kill him yet. But once they decide to kill him, this seems like a very expensive and unnecessary way of doing so. Why not, once the decision has been made that he needs to die, just grab him and have him shot and buried somewhere in Siberia. That makes a lot more sense than to blast him into space under the pretense of fixing a satellite so he can die in space (which doesn't actually make any sense to me at all, to be honest). How much time, money, and effort does it take to do all this? To me, this isn't simply far fetched, it is unbelievable. There has to be something else at work to justify all this or the reader will be right in throwing the book at the wall.

    And if the satellite really needs to be fixed, this is the guy they are going to trust to do it, hoping (given his past) that he doesn't sabotage the whole thing? There's no one better qualified to fix it?
     
  6. Dusk
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    Dusk Member

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    But yea, I do have to agree with muscle. Why don't they just shoot him? It would be alot less expensive, but I can understand why they would also want to use him to save the sattelite. It's one of those plots I think are totally awesome, but are a tiny bit unrealistic. I still don't think it would be farfetched though if you tweaked the story a bit. But anyways, sorry about the sonfusion earlier, 14 year olds suck at running with the big dogs :D hehe
     
  7. architectus
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    architectus Banned

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    Unless they needed a test subject, such as with the dog in space, then no, it's not believable. So make is so that an organization needs a test subject to be in this ship. They need to see how a human would handle it or something.
     
  8. adrenaline7
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    adrenaline7 Member

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    I can see where everyone is coming from. It's just that I've had this story in my head for about seven years, and only in the last nine months have I actually tried to do anything with it. I love the plot-line and what I've written already; this thing is like a child to me (funny because I already have two). Bu seeing everybody's reasoning, conviction alone isn't going to make this work. I'll probabl y be changing the plot slightly and use a different protagonist, most likely an actual pilot or cosmonaut. Well, back to the drawing boards.

    Once again, thanks for everyone for their input. As much as it hurts, it'll make me grow.
     
  9. Jetshroom
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    Jetshroom Active Member

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    People all have good points, but remember, fiction doesn't have to be realistic. I'd advise really digging into researching the Cold War and see what you can come up with.
    I can certainly see Russia having secret satellites (They certainly had not secret ones) and I can see them sending 'expendables' to fix them.
     
  10. TH3T4
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    TH3T4 New Member

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    I get what you mean to adrenaline, but you really should change some things people pointed out, also dont have a rival pilot, its to unoriginal
     
  11. James Berkley
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    James Berkley Banned

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    that sounds like one of the most expensive ways to kill someone, ever.
     
  12. Waltznmatildah
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    Waltznmatildah Member

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    Is he already a technician by trade? Perhaps there are other potentially defective people in the soviet scientist community and they send a group of them to work on the satellite? Seems more probable than doing all that for one man who was never a real threat. Or perhaps they needed to test some new equipment and didn't inform them all it was a trial?
     

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