1. Gregory_G_Geldren
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    Gregory_G_Geldren New Member

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    Does this seem like a logical series of events?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Gregory_G_Geldren, Aug 6, 2011.

    Day 1 Minus 1 Year
    The main character is laid off.

    The main character is digging in his back yard and discovers a large tome in an airtight stone box. The main character becomes convinced the Apocalypse is coming by the next morning.

    He starts to read the Tome he found every day.

    Day 1 Minus 11 Months
    The main character has spent the last month trying to convince the World, friends, and family that the End is Nigh. He is committed for psychological evaluation. He is released after a week of observation and everyone believes he had a nervous breakdown due to being laid off.

    He receives visions nightly 'Of the End'

    Day 1 Minus 10 Months
    The main character puts his house up for sale and plans to leverage every dollar he has (e.g. Sell car, lease replacement with a fraction of the money) with plans to run out of 'real world cash' a week before the world ends. He plots and schemes to maximise his supply of gasoline, foodstuffs, and other items the week before the Cataclysm.

    The visions 'Of the End' have stopped. Instead, he begins to practice some of the things he read in the Tome in his dreams. He tries them when he is awake only to find they do nothing. He shrugs them off for now.

    Day 1 Minus 2 Months
    The House has finally sold and the money exchanged hands. Far, far later than he had hoped. He rushes to buy a small plot of land with a small house in the boonies (I'm leaning towards near the Colorado River near Blythe, CA). He has a rush job of a cement block wall built around the edge of the property and to make a few repairs.

    Inside the property, he starts to stockpile supplies and makes plans to illegally divert water from the nearby Colorado River.

    Day 1 Minus 2 Weeks
    He stops stockpiling supplies a bit earlier than expected because the cost for the diversion is going to be more than expected (e.g. He is hiring people to do something illegal so it costs quite a bit. He ends up using forged paperwork.).

    The last shipment of chickens and tools arrive.

    Day 1 Minus 2 Days
    The small diversion is completed, the police stop by with a legal judgement ordering him to undo the illegal 'improvements'. He plants seeds on his land instead.

    His miniature farm will be barely ready in time but it will keep him well supplied after the Apocalypse....or he just ruined his life.

    Day 1
    Non-animal life replicates at a prodigious pace. Century old trees appear all over the world, overnight. Roads, buildings, sewage systems, water transport systems....all are severly damaged. Bridges collapse. Human transportation infrastructure is crippled, preventing the reliable supply of cities.

    The Risen Two-Natured, feral and out of control, start slaughtering humans and killing millions. Police forces, miltias, and the national militaries are overwhelmed as they are attacked by their own personnel. The heavy weapons of the military are not brought to bear on the Enemy due to the Two Natured's virtual immunity to localized infantry weapons. Pilots are attacked enroute to their planes, tank personnel might find themselves with a Were inside some of their tanks. Ultimately, they are able to respond but not on the scale needed to contain the situation.

    Fresh food in grocery stores and refrigerators are overwhelmed by various molds. The world's grain supplies are greatly reduced by mold and the like. The food loss is offset by unprecedented harvests being available immediately due to the same effect on the crops.

    Hospitals become epicenters for disease as the rapid growth of viruses and medication-resistant bacteria infect the majority of the patients and personnel.

    The main character stays awake all night to watch the 'Apocalypse'. He watches his seeds turn into full grown crops overnight. His chickens, with wings clipped, peck about in the field. He feels vindicated only to be pounced on by one of the Twonatured. He is mauled badly as he desperately attempts to repeat the 'magic' in his dreams. This time, it works, and the Twonatured (a woman) is killed and he has her corpse in the middle of his garden.

    Day 2
    Extensive power outages as power plant workers refuse to go to work as they try to save their families.

    Chlorine tanks, liquified natural gas tanks, and other chemical containments systems that are power dependent fail, causing fires and explosions. The surrounding areas become contaminated, possibly killing people and/or animals beyond the initial explosion.

    Humans flee the cities in fear of the diseased and the 'mystery animals'.

    The day after the full moon comes, the various military and police forces have 'cleansed' their ranks during the initial slaughter for the most part. The slaughter of humans, due to reduced concentration and numbers of the Two Natured, is greatly reduced. Soldiers encounter 'strange creatures', generally rarer than the Two Natured, and are generally opening fire on anything sufficiently 'strange'. Combat between government forces and the 'unnatural' increases due to the natural human reaction of attacking 'monsters' after spending the previous night being slaughtered by them.

    The Human Population has been cut almost in half by the Two Natured (About 5% of the population becomes Two Natured. About 4% of that is wiped out but they generally kill an average of 10 people in the process).

    The main character basically stays inside his cinderblock walls as people flee Blythe. He harvests his crops instead, stockpiling them in the structure's cool basement.

    Day 3 - 7
    Some Humans return to the cities to scavenge.

    Dogs, cats, and other pets exhaust supplies of food and go feral or starve.

    Water pumps in sewage treatment plants fail rendering them useless and polluting the water supply.

    Livestock food and water supply is exhausted.

    Zoo animals escape or starve.

    Nuclear plant security fails, causing non-nuclear explosions and releasing large quantities of radiation into the surrounding area. Large parts of the world suffer low levels of irradiation, reducing fertility.

    Supplies of Gasoline and other critical commodities are exhausted locally and the collapse of civilisation has disrupted re-supply. Parts of the supply chain function erratically, generally to re-supply centralised dump sites under government control.

    The lack of a direct threat, combined with mass starvation, has basically destroyed civilisation. Centralised government control technically exists, however, the ability of society to enforce its laws is non-existent. The governments' control of civilisation extends only as far as their soldiers.

    Some soldiers, police, and militia forces desert in the wake of this disaster due to combat stress (killing friends, loved ones, acquaintances..as the Twonatured shift back when dead...has to be awful on the mind), a need to keep their loved ones safe from the 'monsters', simple disillusionment with 'The System', or other reasons of that nature. Civilian casualties, due to the fact Twonatured shift back on death, at the hands of the military, police, and national guard become noticed by the civilian population at large and the Military Justice system is overwhelmed by the sheer number of incidents, creating a PR disaster that cannot be contained through mass media communications. The civilian population has a healthy distrust of the 'Good Guys' (in many countries) and stop cooperating with the government on a massive scale. 'Monsters' continue to 'attack' (generally, the monsters are fired on first which just escalates the problem) and strike back...hard. Most 'monsters' are nominally immune (e.g. It takes a dozen men to take one down) to individually infantrymen and the number of 'Monsters' in the population exceed the number of military, militia, and police forces.

    The main character takes in a black, gay protestant preacher (intended to serve as his philosophical and social foil) and his family when their car breaks along the highway and they start walking towards the only lights at night (besides other cars). He kills some kind of Vampire as he escorts them inside, probably drawn by his lights or their shouted conversation across his walls. They bunker down together in his house. The Preacher and him discuss the merits of him discarding 'magic' as part of his way to save his soul. The main character is an atheist pragmatic type so he ultimately tells the Preacher No.

    Day 8 - 15
    Toy dogs are virtually extinct. Dogs begin to move in packs to hunt food for survival.

    Hungry pets exhaust the city food supply and spread into the countryside.

    Rodents take over supermarkets and other concentrations of vulnerable food until cats bring their population back down.

    Livestock starve to death in droves if they fail to escape their pens.

    Animals colonize abandoned humanoid buildings.

    Rain and wind help spread the radiation from the nuclear pants far and wide.

    The cities are picked clean of food and other critical resources.

    Most of the Fall's human survivors live in the countryside, living off the land or on farms relying on chicken and other low-maintenance animals.

    Government's ability to pay its people is essentially exhausted. Without banks, its impossible for them to deliver paychecks on the scale that is needed. In addition, the military is forced to forage in some areas due to orders to distribute supplies to the local population to reduce deaths due to starvation. The desertion rate has increased significantly. 'Monsters' continue to 'attack' (generally, the monsters are fired on first which just escalates the problem) and strike back...hard. Most 'monsters' are nominally immune (e.g. It takes a dozen men to take one down) to individually infantrymen and the number of 'Monsters' in the population exceed the number of military, militia, and police forces. The losses amongst the military, militia, and police have reached fatal-to-the-Institution levels and entire militaries, polices, and militia forces start to disband. The larger militaries, such as the US or China, remain nominally effective but they are disintegrating at an alarming rate.

    The main character takes in a few others, building up a small community of a dozen people in his small 'territory'. Rumours circulate about his ability to protect people from Monsters when the government cannot. He and the Preacher assess his supply situation and agree that, practically speaking, a dozen is all he can take in if they are to survive long enough to plant crops and avoid a lack of protein (the only real source being his egg laying chickens due to a lack of beans, an oversight on his part).

    Day 16 - 23

    Humanity has, more or less, regressed socially to the Dark Ages in most of the world. Even large, first world militaries (e.g. the US) have ceased to exist as effective organizations. Individual military bases become more individual kingdoms than servants to the national interest. Nationalism still exists but there is no longer an effective government beyond the local level. The loyalty to the nation's organs of government is little more than lip service at this point.

    Disease, starvation, and death have cut the Human population down to about 1.5 billion people, or about 25% of the original population. The dispersed Human Population begins to stabilise at this point with the 'massive food growth' of the first day keeping them alive. The massive death toll from disease has more or less stabilised, due to so many of the initial infected being overwhelmed before they could spread it far. However, many human populations (even or perhaps especially in the 'First World') are suffering massive outbreaks of Cholera and the like. The death rate would likely remain high amongst humans for the foreseeable future but it would be nothing like the 75%-dead-in-less-than-a-month.

    (I'm undecided past this point, I just figured I'd see if this seemed logical so far.)
     
  2. FaceFace
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    FaceFace New Member

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    I LOVE this idea- very interesting storyline. The whole thing seems relatively believable (in a post-apocylipse-crazy-death-desease kinda way), but there must be something that distinctly sets the two-natured apart from the rest of humanity- they have to be pretty strong to take out an average of 10 people before they eventually die- a simple whack round the head can't be a very effective way to kill these people.

    Also, it feels as if there should be a huge climax pretty soon, maybe something to do with the preacher?

    Anyway, all in all, I think this seems pretty logical and is a very exciting idea! If this thing gets published, I'll be one of the first to buy it :)
     
  3. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?

    Whether or not it is "logical" often comes down to how it is presented, or "sold", by the author. Again. it comes down to the final writing.
     
  4. Gregory_G_Geldren
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    Gregory_G_Geldren New Member

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    Twonatured = Werewolves, Werebears, etc. So, for the two nights they are force-transformed they are nigh-unkillable monsters (e.g. Their ability to heal requires something heavier than a M16 without mass, focused fire and even then they rip people up) so anything short of military, national guard, or SWAT can't touch them.

    Perhaps. I have not made a decision yet how it will go after that point.

    Lol. I'm not asking anyone to buy it. ;) I just wanted to be sure the series of events was believable enough people didn't look at it and go '....wtf man, really?'

    @Cogito
    Lock the thread, if you like.
     
  5. Cerrus
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    Cerrus Senior Member

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    Well, I thought this sounds really good. I only have one problem that doesn't make much sense to me. Why does the MC just start digging in the back of his yard after getting laid off? Maybe you have some logical explanation in the actual writing of your story, but that was the only thing that threw me off. Other than that, I think you have a good story on your hands.
     
  6. Gregory_G_Geldren
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    Gregory_G_Geldren New Member

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    Thanks. :D

    That is the kind of thing I sometimes overlook. xD

    I think I'll go with something simple like cutting down an old tree he always meant to and digging up the roots. You can get some pretty big holes (deep enough to be vaguely plausible it wasn't found before, at any rate) doing that sort of thing.
     
  7. walshy12238
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    walshy12238 Senior Member

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    I absolutely love the idea, it seems pretty original (as we all know, nothing is completely original). The events are logical, and the only thing that stumped me was the Two natured, but you cleared that up in a reply, so it all seems good!
    I can't wait for you to post excerpts from the actual story, from the plot it sounds like it's going to be great!
     
  8. Gregory_G_Geldren
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    Gregory_G_Geldren New Member

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    Yep, which is why my concern was me leaving out an important detail that keeps things from being a vaguely plausible chain of events.

    Thanks...honestly it probably will be like November since I'll probably work on the plot and then try to write it during NaNoWriMo. But we'll see :D
     
  9. psychotick
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    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    Interesting apocalypse vision. My question is as has already been asked, why did he begin digging inthe back yard? Also, you seem to paint this apocalypse as having ended - but I see no end. Surely when the full moon returns so too will the two natured, and things will get worse month by month. And his priestly issues - how can he be an atheist and believe in magic? Magic is in essence something that is outside the normal bounds of science and rationality, and atheists claims about God are that it is essentially a belief in magic - a type of magical thinking.

    Cheers.
     
  10. Gregory_G_Geldren
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    Gregory_G_Geldren New Member

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    Thanks.

    I think I'm going to go with the tree explanation. Its probably barely plausible but we are talking about a magic book so I can get away with it. I think.

    It is not over. Merely the worst of the damage is done. (3/4 of humanity wiped out, organized civilisation on the scale of nations is basically demolished)

    There is a limit to how far a human being (or a were) can move in a few hours in a single night. Without the kind of population concentrations of cities, they are going to kill alot fewer people every Full Moon. Also, the military and other armed forces killed a large fraction of them.

    That, and I'm leaning towards the Twonatured slowly learning to control their transformation rather than just attacking everyone. Its also an involuntary transformation so anyone who figures out they are one of the Twonatured could just go hide far from civilization, lock themselves up, chain themselves to a wall, etc.

    He is behaving irrationally about his atheism, just like when he was at the start (accepting the Apocalypse Was Coming) without evidence.

    Its also a different kind of magical thinking, in the sense that if he does X it causes Y is not 'magical thinking' in the same sense as faith without demonstrable, repeatable evidence is.
     
  11. HorusEye
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    HorusEye Contributing Member Contributor

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    Atheism seems to be one of the most misunderstood concepts.

    The word Atheism means "not believing a deity exists". It does not mean "believing a deity does not exist", nor "Not believing all things that are supernatural/metaphysical/escaping logics".

    It's the absence of belief in a deity, no more, no less.

    As for the concept of the story, I think it sounds great. I'd come up with something other than werewolves, personally, but only because I think vampires and lycanthropes are horribly overdone in recent years and I can't stand the sight or sound of them anymore.
     
  12. Gregory_G_Geldren
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    Gregory_G_Geldren New Member

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    Werewolves will be a minority (think more like Werelions, Werepanthers, Were[insert-carnivore-here].

    The 'monsters' will all be some form of Anthrophage (people eaters) and Weres+Vampires = the most common.

    I suppose I could try to create my own or find something sufficiently obscure. But it also needs to be durable enough to stand up to small arms and automatic weapon (AK-47/M-16) fire.
     
  13. HorusEye
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    HorusEye Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, they could be pretty much anything. Bringing in the association of were-creatures and vampires won't strengthen your story as something that stands on its own, but tie it in with a trend, which I'm convinced is a soon dead fad. I think you'd be better off letting your work stand on its own.
     
  14. The_NeverPen
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    The_NeverPen Member

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    tl;dr

    But what I did read seemed to be an interesting skeleton of what could be an interestingly connected series of interesting events. However, "He is committed for psychological evaluation", is not logical. Unless this character demonstrates an intent to harm themselves, it's not likely that he would be committed, especially for as long as a week and especially if he's just talking about the end times.

    As soon as you talk about magic, you lose all logical coherency anyways, so I say that no matter how it progresses, just make sure that your characters are acting in ways congruent with whatever psychological profile you've given them.
     
  15. Gregory_G_Geldren
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    Gregory_G_Geldren New Member

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    It needs a specific combination of resilience under weapons fire, loss of sane human behavior, etc. that Weres exhibit. I suppose I can create something similar that will have a similar impact.

    I was trying to isolate him so he was basically 'alone' when the end came.

    Alright, Thanks.
     

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