If anyone has some good reference suggestions to research the psychology of the stalker mentality I'd greatly appreciate it. Specifically, I'm looking into the transition from the "I'm so in love with you that I can't live without you" phase....to the......"If I can't have you then nobody can" phase (passive to aggressive) - the triggers, the thought process at that point, the manifestation of the delusional state, etc. Just need a general reference, not case studies per se, as it seems pretty obvious from the news how these things happen - but want some facts to include rather than just my vision of what I think goes on. Cheers, Jeff
Basically, the love story is more important to the stalker than the reality. The stalker has invented a fictional character in his own head, his self-worth is dependent on his being connected to this perfect character, and the real person must be punished for not living up to the fictional character. What "if I can't have you, nobody can" often means is that the stalker recognizes on some level that the fantasy that he's invented is not actually the real person, but in such a way as to make him feel entitled to the person's gratitude for putting so much effort into creating a fantasy that made her better than she really was.
What @Simpson17866 said, so much. Thank you for expressing that so well! Edit: I liked that so much I decided that Following you would be the appropriate thing to do
I actually had a stalker once. It was a very scary experience. He had convinced himself that I would eventually fall for him if he kept being persistent and "nice," but really he just followed me around the hallways (this was in high school) acting super creepy, to the point where I strategized my entire day based on how to avoid him. He also had a genuinely angry and threatening presence, like he was growing more and more malevolent over the fact that I wasn't into him. He wouldn't take no for an answer and was oblivious to social cues and normal behavior.
