Hi, guys and gals. My name is Nick. I enjoy writing short fiction and enjoy reading it almost as much. I have already read some great stuff here, some work by LucyP and Operaghost as well as others. I'm not very good at editing/proof reading, but I will tell you what works for me and what doesn't. I will also try to explain how the story made me feel. I'll give you my thoughts about what the characters are feeling, who they are to me, and why I think they do the things they do. I cannot help you with your sentence structure or grammar. Whether I have issues with that myself is not the point, but rather, I don't feel qualified and I have no idea exactly why you are structuring your sentences the way you are. For all I know you wrote it that way for a reason. You write the sentence and I'll tell you what it does to me and my emotions, then you decide if you want to change it or not. Deal? I look forward to reading your work. Dread P.S. This is an invitation to invite me to read your work. I love reading short stories. Please do not be shy about letting me know where your work is located. I will happily stop by, read it and comment on it. Or you can just tell me to bugger off.