1. Gannon
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    Gannon Contributing Member Contributor

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    Economic Models explained with cows

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Gannon, Jun 25, 2007.

    Whilst this is a joke and probably one you've already seen at that, I actually find it quite useful in understanding economics - useful and funny - you don't see that everyday!

    Economic Models explained with cows:



    SOCIALISM

    You have 2 cows.

    You give one to your neighbour.



    COMMUNISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both and gives you some milk.



    FASCISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both and sells you some milk.



    NAZISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both and shoots you.



    BUREAUCRATISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.



    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

    You have two cows.

    You sell one and buy a bull.

    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

    You sell them and retire on the income.



    SURREALISM

    You have two giraffes.

    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons



    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.



    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

    You have two cows.

    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

    You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.

    No balance sheet provided with the release.

    The public then buys your bull.



    THE ANDERSEN MODEL

    You have two cows.

    You shred them.



    A FRENCH CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



    A JAPANESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.



    A GERMAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.



    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

    You decide to have lunch.



    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You count them and learn you have five cows.

    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

    You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.



    A SWISS CORPORATION

    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

    You charge the owners for storing them.



    A CHINESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You have 300 people milking them.

    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



    AN INDIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You worship them.



    A BRITISH CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    Both are mad.



    AN IRAQI CORPORATION

    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

    You tell them that you have none.

    No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country.

    You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.



    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    The one on the left looks very attractive.



    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    Business seems pretty good.

    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.







    INDONESIAN CORPORATION



    You have two cows.

    Both are stolen.

    You then sell both.

    You then stash the money to a very obscure non-budgetary account.

    You then throw some of the money to political parties for campaign funds, but you keep most of it for yourself.
     
  2. SeaBreeze
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    SeaBreeze Banned

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    HAHAHHAAAAAA! ROFLMAO! HAHHAHHAHAHAAA! That is so classic! hahaha only the New Zealand ones are traditionaly sheep liking.... (not intendingoffense but might cause niggles. I'm an auzzie so shoot away!)

    But Gannon, that is hilarious!!!
    Bravo!
     
  3. Frost
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    Frost Contributing Member

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    That was entertaining yes. My personal favourite was the German and Indian corporations. Classic.
     
  4. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    That is genius. I only wish I had taken economics, so it could be of some use :p
     
  5. Bick
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    Bick New Member

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    That was pretty funny =P Though I some of it went over my head since I'm slightly dim when it comes to stuff like this
     
  6. Max Vantage
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    Max Vantage Banned

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    LMAO Applause! :D
     
  7. Myst
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    Myst Active Member

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    Worth a good laugh!
     
  8. Dcara83
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    Dcara83 New Member

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    the truth is funny:D:D
     

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